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Home ed

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I wouldn't last 5 minutes as a HE'der!

26 replies

miljee · 28/05/2007 20:40

I'm a reasonably well educated person but I can't imagine, for a moment, what life as an HE would be like! Where on earth does one find the confidence to believe that 'it'll all be OK'? I tread warily with maths now, for example (DSs Yr 1 and 3) as I confuse them in 1 minute flat!
How do you 'monitor' yourself? What indicators do you use that you're 'on track'?

Do you think you have DCs who are naturally 'amenable' to HE? Mine would walk into the jaws of doom if their class teacher told them to but can barely be roused off the sofa by us for 'educational' purposes! We get the teacher to tell them to fill in a journal when we take a week off here and there as that's the only way they'll comply! Is it because HE'ded DCs know no different that they comply?

Do your DCs ever question you about what school might be like and whether they 'miss out' on anything there? How do you tackle those issues?

These are genuine Qs! I'm interested in your thoughts!

OP posts:
juuule · 28/05/2007 21:10

3 of my he'd children know what school is like as they have already attended school. They tell me they don't feel they are missing out on anything. My youngest is 3y and probably will never go to school. I still have 3 at school.
There is a lot of information to be found about home-education and how it works. A good starting point would be www.education-otherwise.org and
www.home-education.org.uk

Julienoshoes · 29/05/2007 09:07

I didn't imagine a time when I would home educate either-it simply never entered my head.
However as my three children became increasingly unhappy and it became more apparent that the state system was not allowing them to reach their potential, (they all have dyslexia, the youngest could not read a single word nor write her name when she was deregistered after nearly 5 years of state schooling) we found out that home education was a legal viable option and deregistered them.

So my dc don't have to question what it was like in schools-they know to their cost and have never wanted to go back!

They know after six years of home education, what they miss out on is bullying, teasing and coercion to do something they don't want to.
Our children have a social life that is the envy of their schooled cousins, who are sometimes lucky enough to join is in the holidays.
Our children know their schooled peers are stuck indoors, when we are out on the beach in the sunshine, finding and discussing fossils, or kayaking down a river watching and learning about the wildlife as we go.
Or we might be at one of the many home ed camps and gatherings, doing a workshop on green woodworking.
They know their schooled friends are stuck indoors when they are outside with their group of home ed friends, making snowballs, building igloos, discussing weather conditions and the effects of global warming, whilst having a ball sledging down the hill.
Our children may be with their friends discussing computer programming and designing their own computer based business, even when their parents have very basic computer knowledge. They have become a whiz at computer technology and are now the experts in our house, helping their parents learn what we are interested in!
Whilst their schooled friends are sat doing percentages in maths lessons, our children were out going around different banks, enquiring as to what interest would be paid on their savings if they were to open an account.
Whilst friends have been stuck in doing homework, they have been out attending physics lectures that make physics fun and relevant to life.

Basically we looked at the main HE websites (as outined by the other poster) and we got to know people in the home educating community and it became apparent that you do not have to do 'school at home'. There are lots of ways to home educate and every family will find what suits them, but many do become 'autonomous' educators.
We facilitate the childrens learning, we don't teach at all. There are no formal school work lessons at our house, none. We follow the childrens interests entirely, so there is no coercion to make them do anything educational. We do not ?make? them comply with anything. This doesn't mean neglect. We make suggestions, discuss possibilities, help find solutions, facilitate interests.
Everyone naturally has interests, we can't help it. When allowed to follow those intests freely and without pressure, every person wants to know what is needed for him/her to be able to live life to their potential.

I don't feel the need to 'monitor'. Monitoring is necessary for a teacher in a class who is trying to track the understanding of 30 children. It is easy to see in a one to one situation, whether you child has understood a point and is ready to move on with the next one or whether she needs some more help.

We are 'on track' as our children are doing the things that they want to do and are really interested in.

Our children are teenagers now. All are interested in vastly different career paths and have hugely different interests.

Our eldest has really done the computer-based business, and is interested in computer games and technology. But he also loves Psychology and Sociology and related interests.
He went to college post 16 and did amazingly well at AS levels and according to the lecturers, fitted in really well academically and socially. He is on target to do really well at A levels this summer.
He gets up and oragnises himself for college, because he has chosen to be there, with no problems. I do not pressure him to attend, or to do homework, he does it becasue it is all his choice to be there.
Before college, during his self directed learning, he has played a wealth of computer games, 'Warhammer' 'fantasy role play' games and 'Magic' card games. We have played board games, card games and dominoes. He learnt a lot about computers and I have learnt more about the world wars, the weapons used, the politics behind and the people involved than I ever wanted to know.
We have learnt about politics and democracy together. He loves history. We have done workshops on Vikings, Egyptians, Romans-you name it, we have done it. Horrible History books and magazines have taught him so much history, he far outshines the history I learnt in the grammar school education I had!
We have had conversations about every subject imaginable! Talking and learning together has been the backbone of the education we have provided.

Our middle child is passionate about human rights, especially women?s childrens rights. We did endless projects about the role of womes in history, in the home, in politics-and this on it's own covered so many 'subjects' as we went along, let alone all of the other things that she has tackled.
She has helped out at workshops for women who have been victims of domestic violence. Together we have found out about Amnesty International, the United Nations and the roles of the main charities.
She is a passionate vegan (unlike the rest of us) and has learnt and taught me such a lot about healthy nutrition!
She has an interest in sailing and had the opportunity to spend long summers with another HE family, sailing up the west coast of GB and the east coast of Ireland. What better way to see natural history, geology and geography than in real life? She covered an enormous amount of maths when learning to navigate and sail and was fascinated by the politics of each part of the UK and Ireland that she visited.
She too has done the sort of workshops and activities outlined above. Now we are exploring the OU for possibilities to study law. And design courses. And the possibilities of getting Competent Crew status to enable her to go sailing more!

Both of the older two have part time jobs that they are committed to and are seen as valued, reliable employees.

Youngest child is most interested in the arts. She is a promising performer, even if I do say it myself. She looks to have a career as a singer. But being home educated this has given her time and opportunity to practise her art, without missing out on the rest of the things she is interested in.
She adores all types of outdoor activities. Loves the English language and has a passion for word games and suduko. She loves poetry and songs and drama.
She lead a group of local home ed youngsters in an application for a grant for their drama production. They got £1500! They have had a ball researching and developing their drama production. They have built their props and designed their costumes. The performance has its premier this weekend at a Street Theatre at a town near us.
She is fascinated by history and politics. We spend long hours discussing democracy. We are just organising a visit to the Houses of Parliament.
Together she and I have just returned from a week with home ed friends, staying at a youth centre. We had a week of kayaking, trekking and cycling, with masses of HE friends.

She and I are going to the ballet next week, with another home ed group and then later that same day, all three will be coming to another with HE friends in Derbyshire. Then we'll all be going, children and stepchildren, to the biggest of the home ed gatherings, in July, where 1500 of us will gather for a wonderful week of all sorts of workshops and fun together. There are musical events all week. Youngest daughter will have a solo spot for singing there and also one with the band she is a lead singer of.

At present, we are exploring where she wants to go with the rest of her education-again we are turning directly to the Open University, to enable her to provide evidence to universities, of the level of her education and ability to study. She is most interested in philosophy and psychology courses-but is also tempted by the science course-she has always loved the science experiments we have done at home and the science programmes on TV and discussions she has had with us and other people.

Universities are increasingly happy to take home educated young people-they have found them to be self motivated enthusiastic learners. Especially those who have followed an autonomous lifestyle.

There is an interesting article on comparing formal and informal (autonomous) home education by Alan Thomas and educationalist, to be found here:
www.infed.org/biblio/home-education.htm

Autonomous education like this, takes time and commitment to your childrens education, but it is not difficult. Difficult is sending three very unhappy children to school very day!

This is just a snapshot of our lives-if it sounds an idyllic life to have with teenagers-it is!
Happy people live at our house!

This has turned into a long reply, but I hope it answers your questions?

dottyspots · 29/05/2007 15:37

LOL! I thought HE-ers were bonkers until after 2 years of constant to-ing and fro-ing from school and my son finally having his arm broken by a group of children forced our hand.

Now, 4 years on, I can say that it was the best thing we ever did!

My eldest two have recently chosen to return to (a different) school (as we've moved), however, HE was such a positive experience that we don't plan to ever send the youngest two to school unless they choose to do so at a later date.

Perhaps the difficulty your DCs have is a lack of interest in something they've been asked to do?

We chose topics that my children were interested in (on discussion with my children) and so rarely had any difficulty in motivating them (except ds1 with maths, because dh liked to see atleast some maths done every week).

Ds2 had a mental block re. writing (something that came as a result from attitudes at the school he had attended). We laid off any coercion to write for a couple of years and he eventually came to writing on his own.

On returning to school he went into all top sets, despite reading and writing for a far shorter time than many of his peers - so waiting a while hasn't damaged his 'prospects' in any way (in fact, I think his experience of being forced by the school did far more damage).

I think there can be good and bad points to both school and HE depending on the personality of the people involved and where you are in the country. My children certainly didn't feel that they particularly missed out on anything, the only thing ds1 really enjoys at school that he didn't do much of at home is 'technology' (woodwork and metalwork) and ds2 doesn't mind either way, so long as he can go out with his mates (something he did when he was HE-ed too, he just fancied giving school another try because many of his friends locally were at school).

I've continued doing voluntary work for EO and am in the process of getting a few local groups started up (something that was missing here when we moved fairly recently from an area with lots going on for HE-ers). I've no doubt that my youngest children will have a fabulous HE experience

SueBaroo · 30/05/2007 14:37

ha ha at my children always complying cos they know no different

We have our own goals, and if we're facing towards them, then we're on track! Some days (or weeks!) it's pigeon steps, some days it's full steam ahead, and occasionally it's a standstill.

My eldest asked about school when she became aware of her cousin going, and from little bits on the telly. We explained that a lot of people learn reading and writing in a big building, but we learn it at home. Nothing more complicated than that, really. It's not even occured to them that they're missing out, tbh. I'm sure they do miss out on some things, but a lot of those things, I have no problem with them missing.

singingmum · 30/05/2007 19:11

I don't know if it will all be alright in the end.
I don't know if I could monitor myself as such.
I don't know if it would be considered that we are on track.
I don't know if HE is for everyone.

I do know what school does to children who are very interested in any certain subject.
I do know that the decision to remove my eldest from nursery and school was the best one for our family.
I do know that my dc's are glad to be HE'd
I do know that they have excellent manners and are well spoken.
I do know that my children(whose cousin goes to nursery and friends go to school)never want to go to school.
I do know that my dc's education is tailored to their needs,ability and interests.
I know that my dc's won't get as bored with education as I did.
I do know that they are going like any child to have lazy days.
And most important of all even though we live in a low HE area,to our knowledge,that they are happy.
There are no definite anythings in life.Who knows wether their Dc's will be ok one way or another.Like everyone we all make the decisions that we feel are best for us and our families.

dottyspots · 30/05/2007 21:04

Well said singingmum - there are no definites whether in school or otherwise, we all have to do the best we can at any given time

singingmum · 31/05/2007 20:35

Exactly.By the way dottyspots did my CAT work or get lost.I manageed to send it correctly to Humphrey but am unsure wether yours worked right.Or am I confusing Dotties

sorkycake · 05/06/2007 14:57

Julienoshoes, not for the first time, your post has made me cry! (in a good way)

dottyspots · 06/06/2007 13:35

singingmum: I'm guessing no as I didn't get anything.

You can contact me through my blog - hearthandhomeeducation.co.uk If you just leave a comment with your contact details it won't automatically go on the site as first posts are moderated, so I'll pick up your details but delete your comment so your details don't become public.

Runnerbean · 07/06/2007 08:08

I might doubt my sanity sometimes but I have no doubts whatsoever, after a year of HE, that taking ny daughter out of school was the best thing I've ever done!!

Runnerbean · 07/06/2007 12:30

Where did Miljee disappear to??

SueBaroo · 07/06/2007 17:16

I know - what's with the posting a thread asking for people to explain their reasons for HE and then not coming back?

flounces

thinks that might be an over-reaction

comes back

singingmum · 08/06/2007 16:32

Dotty thats one wacky website.Love it.
Will try to figure out reaching you.Thanks

Runnerbean · 08/06/2007 16:38

tail between legs perhaps???

happybiggirl · 08/06/2007 16:39

Message withdrawn

NKF · 08/06/2007 16:45

Can I ask a question? There's something very exciting about the idea of studying topics that interest you. But what about the ones that don't?

The reason I ask is that one of the most memorable experiences from my schooling is that there was a school subject (an important one) that I struggled with. And I had extra coping and really really worked at it. And cracked it. I'll never be great at it but I'm not as bad as I thought I was. And I sometimes think that learning that through hard work and serious application and asking for help that you can do well at something you're not naturally gifted at is a good lesson. A good lesson for life really.

Perhaps this is covered by Home Education but one usually hears more about letting children follow their own interests. And not very much about swotting.

Sorry, long post.

singingmum · 08/06/2007 16:53

We don't really know other HE'ers around here but my ds is shy and has socialisation issues.My dd however is as outgoing as they come.She will chat to any children in the area and any adult if we say it's ok.
As children get older the time for socialisation in school becomes v.limited.In fact a lot of children are not happy at school because instead of being able to talk to friends they have to be quiet.Also a lot find the concept of not asking questions etc. when they think of them but being made to wait until they either forget them or the teacher is to busy to answer them annoying and quite a frustrating task.
There are a lot of groups all over the country and also there are other gatherings etc. to meet people at.
Education otherwise has a contact list for members so that you can make contact with people in your area.
The thing is most children will socialise in any enviroment and He dc's are often more able to state what they mean and how they feel about things.They also are better able to do so with people of all ages.

happybiggirl · 08/06/2007 16:56

Message withdrawn

singingmum · 08/06/2007 16:59

You'd be amazed how all subjects even hated ones can be quietly introduced by using the fav subjects.
My daughter does geography walking a mini yoda figure around maps and atlas and we then learn about that country.My son hates writing so when he became interested in games workshop and found he could make his own scenarios we told him he would have to write them himself and also that after spellings etc. corrected he could type them.He will know sometimes write 4-5 A4 pages without us prompting at all.It works this way in all subjects.
If school had done this I may have taken an interest in subjects I hated instead of being bored out of my mind to the point of stopping working altogether

juuule · 08/06/2007 17:03

Most of my children are quite outgoing. The ones at school have a good time socially and have made friends. The ones home-ed also have friends locally who they see in the evenings and school holidays. They also take part in drama club, gymnastics, brownies where they have other friends. They do have home-ed friends who they talk to on msn or meet up with occassionally. They seem quite happy with the amount of contact they have with other children. If they were unhappy we would find other groups to be involved with.
None of my school-ed or home-ed children seem to be short of friends.

happybiggirl · 08/06/2007 17:04

Message withdrawn

juuule · 08/06/2007 17:10

My eldest son was quiet and enjoyed his own company. Went through the school system. Tolerated all the 'social' stuff but mostly just had about 3 good friends. He didn't go out much in the evenings because he didn't want to. We didn't force him. He started to go out a bit more when he went to college. He now lives away from home at University and is having a whale of time. He doesn't like to stay in that much now. He came to mixing in his own time. It depends on the personality of the child how much mixing with others they want to do. Whether they are home-ed or school-ed won't change that.

lailasmum · 08/06/2007 17:12

NKF I think the point is that different kids learn the same things in different ways so whilst kids in school may need to swot in order to keep up with a subject taught in one particular way that won't slow down for them, home ed kids probably won't as they can take their time and do it at their own pace. I know a lot of home ed kids who may not like a subject such as maths but do it without realising in cooking or making something or mental arithmetic when shopping, they get what they need to know in their own way. Those who love the subject will probably follow it more closely of their own accord. Children will often work seriously hard to point of obsession if they are left to their own purposes. I also don't believe that children have to endure struggle in order to learn life's most important lessons. They learn them from being involved in everyday living.

It was certainly true that when I was at school that we were taught all kinds of subject to get us through exams but I can't say that many of them were relevant to my life as an adult or have ever been used again.

sorkycake · 08/06/2007 18:10

The beauty of teaching your own children is IMO the fact that you play to their strengths.
My Dd is much more science and maths orientated and less so at literacy, BUT she loves pirates passionately atm and so is reading about pirates, devouring anything she can get her hands on.
In school, she'd be reading for readings' sake and wouldn't be the slightest bit interested.
I know her inside out and if she won't go the straightforward route I make a game of it, or role play, or approach it in a very different direction to get it covered.

miljee · 10/06/2007 11:48

Thanks to all of you gave thoughful answers to my questions. A pity the odd person did that thing of 'instant defence' as in What happened to Miljee? Miljee has been periodically visiting this thread and reading the responses with interest, and didn't feel the need to weigh in as the thread seemed to have gained its own momentum which is an excellent thing, IMO. I'm sorry if I was expected to jump in, guns blazing, as I didn't feel my original post was at all 'I challenge you mad and crazy HE'ers to justify yourselves to me', was it? I merely asked about HE- and got some good answers!

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