thinking of school can't cope with ds temper

[Jennylee]

all progres we have made with ds but still he has a temper problem, explodes nd hits me and his dad and now it seems, other adults. how can we get him help without going back to a school, or will the lea then interven in our lives adn make us send him to a school, was going to talk to a head teahcer tomorrow, but not sure, home ed has helped everything but his violence is becoming more a problem and now we can't blame school/bullying. Was hoping to go back to uni and home ed untill we were settled thenschool , but worry if a school would be worse or if staying with us at home all the time is worse, and in either case how to get help, have posted on sn if anyone has any suggestions

is he doing this for attention? could the school offer him one to one learning? perhaps you could talk to your gp it could be a nummber of learning problems has adhd been mentioned i dont now much about schooling problems just thought i would try reassure you hope this helps good luck

How old is your son.My son went through this behaviour from age 5/6 to 10/11.I felt like he was never going to behave again.He did and is now quite pleasant(except of course the teen sulks starting,but I'd pick those over violent outbreaks anyday)
School would be worse as he would like my youngest brother be considered a trouble maker.My son has been HE since he was 3 and we still don't know why he started behaving badly.If you want to talk or just be able to moan I can help you.
There are some methods I learned as a teen with my brother which helped my ds.
The one that seems to work best is restraining him with a cuddle and constantly telling him that we love him even if he's acting naughty.You may still end up with bruises but it's better than losing it yourself as can happen and prob will.
If he's been bullied remember that it can take yers(sory but true) for him to feel safe and happy again.I know this is hard but as I say if you want more support/advice CAT me or just shout and I'll help where I can

Elsieanjoanne I should find out about the one to ne learning I never thoguht that schools did that apart form in short bursts, adhd was mentioned at one time but he idd not ocnfrm to enough of the things for it so they sadi eh had no particular 'thing ' just a mixture of different things and a very complex little chap and it went no firther, but thanks for your post.

sorry about the spelling just read my last post not sure it makes sense.

Singing mum my ds is 8, it is good to know that someone else has had a similar thing adn that the child tirned out okay in the end as sometimes I think we are doomed.

I know bullying can be awful and has a lasting effect it still comes back to me from my school days sometimes and you realise it never really leaves you. I will try to stay calm with him it is just that he is so strong so the restraining is no use he really is nearly as tall as me by a few inches and strong so restraining no longer works, My mother in alw is going to try and help with the anger stuff as she knows relaxation techniques and things like that do to with psychology, she is going to have him a few hours a week to play and talk to him adn try and help too. thank you so much for your generous offer of help. I do think I need to fins a way to hold him where I do not hurt him in anyway but so he can't hurt me too much either lol if anyting like that exists and to work on how to deal with anger and anxiety.

The key to holding him is to have him facing away with arms crossed and you hold him in that position and talk to him.Also tell him that he can go and that if he still wants to hit something then to hit his pillow.That way you know he isn't hurting anyone else or himself.You may feel a little bit guilty well holding him but my mother was told to do this when my brother went out of control,it's the only way to stop losing it yourself often.
Am so glad you have support.

Ther was a thread about children hitting parents a few days ago and most of the people who posted about it had boys about 8 or 9 (me included). I'm hoping it's developmental.

thanks singingmum and cornsilk