Problems with going out during school hours

[CramptonHodnet]

Has anyone else encountered difficulties with going out or being seen out with your child/children during "school hours"?

We live in a small rural town/village and I only know of one other home ed family that we are friendly with, but who tend to keep their heads down during daytime (maybe for the same reasons as us).

I took DS to the library during the morning to get some books out for next week's project and whilst I was browsing the shelves, DS saw the two librarians whispering and looking over at him. He overheard them talking about us but they didn't say anything directly to us.

I can quite believe this - it's happened in the past to me when we had to home ed DD briefly when she was having to have a lot of hospital appointments during what would have been Reception Year. One of the librarians used to cross question me every time I went in (different library to this one) about DD and why she wasn't in school, who was looking after her if she wasn't with me (at home with DH), and other invasive questions. It felt like she was considering reporting me to social services. Nothing came of it, to my knowledge, but she made me feel very uncomfortable.

Anyway - how do you deal with people who appear to be over invested in your child/children's welfare, when it's none of their business? Do you tell them to mind their own business? Do you take the time to explain home education to them, even though they may be confrontational or angry? Or ignore?

I don't want to be made to feel uncomfortable, or unable to leave the house during "school hours". We want to be able to go to the library, museums, the park, or wherever else we fancy going. Sometimes, I wish we lived in a city where we could be more anonymous, rather than a small town/village where everyone seems to know or want to know everyone's business and have an opinion on it.

I'd say it's pretty simple when people ask to just say, oh DD is home educated.

People whispering is more tricky but if you're bothered I'd just mention in conversation that DS is home educated.

Speaking from the other side of the fence (I don't home school - yet anyway), two girls who live opposite me don't go to school. In the early days I was a bit concerned (because there are cases where children not going to school is not because they are being nicely home educated) but once I'd met the girls they were clearly bright and happy with excellent social skills so I just assumed they were home educated.

Breezily confident is what you need - so you don't convey anxiety to the other people or to your child. Find a way of engaging them in conversation to include your child "we're on a research trip this morning, looks like we'll be finding out lots about fossils this week. 😀 We really appreciate having these library resources on our doorstep as home educators, thank you so much!" You might need to work at it a bit, but these people are potentially your allies, your advocates and your helpers. They have access to resources and they know about resources. Use them!!!!

We are always out and about during school hours. Sometimes people ask and my boys happily tell them that they ars home educated. As for whispering, just smile and know that you are doimg nothing wrong.

DS was in tears when it happened. He is only just beginning to recover at home from the anxiety he suffered at school, so anything like that knocks his confidence again

I took the approach with him that they don't know us and we don't know them personally so we don't need to care what they think about us. But it is hard in a small community where everyone knows or wants to know everyone else's business.

I think an important message to your son is that being home schooled is nothing to feel at all sheepish about so he can always explain to people that that is the case.

Whenever something deviates from the norm there will be those who are daft enough to assume something negative.