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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

Terrified

22 replies

Chugalug · 05/03/2018 20:52

The school have been fab,I can't think of anything else they could do to help.but there's only so many times I can keep cajoling,steering,manhandling, him in to school..trying to keep this ship sailing till Easter,just because I need to get my head round it...utterly terrified I will be shit at it.i will let him down ,not do it properly..what ever it is..I'm scared it will be to intense,I need my space ..I'm scared he will refuse to go to groups,he's not interested in meeting other kids.hes on the spectrum.school are about to do a ehcp.so once that's done you need permission to take them out...😟

OP posts:
ommmward · 05/03/2018 21:13

Breathe!!!!

Look at the book "Paths are made by walking" (it's about home educating autistic children. It will reassure you that there are a million valid ways of doing this)

SO many home educating families have autistic children.

These people are wonderful www.he-special.org.uk/ they used to have a very active email list.

Look for your local facebook groups, and that will also give you gateways into finding local home educators with special needs in their family mix. (in our local area, there is a special needs home educators facebook group, even).

DancingLedge · 05/03/2018 21:19

For some DC on the spectrum, once they relax from the distress and anxiety occasioned by school, they become so much more receptive to learning. And other activities.

Kids under stress cannot learn well.

Original poster
Chugalug · 05/03/2018 21:38

Thankyou...I will join Facebook to look...do home educated people have the 6 week break from school?how long do you recon I have from deregisteration to a visit from LEA...also we don't need permission to remove with a diagnosis,just the ehcp am I right?

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DancingLedge · 05/03/2018 22:09

I don't think school holidays are an issue- you arrange home ed how it suits you.( and of course you need to find what you can live with, as well as meeting their needs)

The other questions, you probably need a helpful voice from someone with current info, but here's a couple of links while you're waiting.

www.ahomeeducation.co.uk/law-home-schooling-england-wales.html
www.home-education.org.uk/legal-home-visits.htm

One thing: many stressed out DC need a " decompression" time after leaving a difficult school situation. Not no education, but gently at first: certainly not 9-3 home lessons 5 days a week. Not at first.

Original poster
Chugalug · 05/03/2018 22:13

Thanks will take a look x

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DancingLedge · 05/03/2018 22:16

Ps.

Also www.autism.org.uk/about/in-education/choosing-school/home-education.aspx this link addresses some of your questions about withdrawing a child from school, with a ASD diagnosis, +/- with an EHCP. Haven't read it all- being a national charity, I'd expect them to be more cautious in their advice than ,say, Education Otherwise.

Best of luck to you both.

Saracen · 06/03/2018 00:41

6 week break from school? It is entirely up to you. You're the parent. What do you think would suit your child best?

how long do you recon I have from deregisteration to a visit from LEA Visits are not compulsory, and aren't recommended unless you have a specific reason for wanting one. If the LA contact you early on, you could tell them you have just begun and are settling in to home education. Ask them to keep everything in writing. That way, you'll have time to consider how to respond. You can take advice here or on other HE forums as to the legality of what they are asking you to do, and talk through your options. If you decide to write letters or reports, you can get help with that.

...also we don't need permission to remove with a diagnosis,just the ehcp am I right? You don't need permission even if your child has an EHCP. I think you are in England? If so, you only need the LA's consent to withdraw your child from school if he is attending a special school.

Original poster
Chugalug · 06/03/2018 07:27

Sacacen,thanks,didn't know that ..

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Original poster
Chugalug · 06/03/2018 07:31

I don't really want to do this.i feel I'm being forced in to it by him..all the other kids walk in to school smiling and chatting..he's clinging to the steering wheel ,yelling...assuming I've got him that far ,as he starts at 7 am with the whole im not going ,you can't make me...to the please please don't make me go...I'm an older mum ,I've very little left to give ,the break of the school day means I have patience with him...he's got adult older siblings ...they are not going to help.

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ommmward · 06/03/2018 08:37

Worth bearing in mind that not every child is school shaped. And for a lot of autistic children, going to school every day is genuinely traumatic. In a complex social situation, with all their sensory stuff on high alert all day... Your son is trying to communicate his distress to you using all the tools at his disposal. Please be grateful that he CAN identify the cause of his own distress, and communicate it in a way that doesn't hurt him or anyone else, and please take some serious credit for him and yourself that you are starting to overcome 40 years of society telling you "everyone has to go to school. School is Good" to start listening to him.

Once you get him out, you need to anticipate about a month's recovery time for every year spent in school, maybe a bit more because he's been so miserable. That recovery time is known as deschooling. Google is your friend. In that time, do fun stuff together - parks, local museums, country walks, martial arts, whatever floats his boat. Let education happen in informal conversations, or binge watching David Attenborough if he wants. No workbooks, no academic timetable, no forced writing. When he's ready for something more formal, he'll let you know.xxx

Original poster
Chugalug · 12/03/2018 13:33

Sort of stuck at the moment..he's on a half day timetable,that's how I'm getting him in ,by saying it's only a couple of hours..this can't go on for ever thou

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ommmward · 12/03/2018 19:07

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you both at the moment.

rowdywoman1 · 12/03/2018 19:30

OP,
It sounds as if you really don't want to do this but feel that your child is forcing you into home ed? IF that is the case, then please don't feel pushed into this without support.

Home Ed is a massive responsibility, especially if you are trying to meet specialist needs. How old is he? How is he in school once he's there? What do the school say about home educating?

For some children and parents Home Ed is great and very successful. But it is a huge responsibility and if it's not something that you want to do, then you mustn't feel pushed into it.

Original poster
Chugalug · 12/03/2018 19:55

I need to decide..either massive effort to get him back full time..or I home ed.

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Original poster
Chugalug · 12/03/2018 19:59

If I can just keep things going till Easter ,I can take the holiday to think things throu..he would be happier out..I'm happier with the break when he's there...plus I couldn't wish for better teachers,which makes it that much harder ..

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QueenStreaky · 22/03/2018 21:31

I've just found this thread. How are you doing, Chugalug? It's a tough decision but one that most people in your position have to make. I just want to say, I understand your need for a break while he's at school, but bear in mind that he's likely to be harder work because of school and the stress it causes him. Lots of people find their children calm down significantly once that pressure is reduced, and it becomes easier to be with them as much. True, HE is hard work, but it's more manageable than the pressure of school. Plus you can take a break when it gets too much - you're not forced to do a 'school day' if you don't have the energy or ds is overwhelmed. It enables you to manage your days/weeks/months on your terms, and his, and you can plan proper recovery time after activities that might distress him.

Many, many home educators of children with additional needs will tell you that it's much harder to repair the damage to a child who's been in the school system without the right support. The sooner you find an alternative arrangement the quicker he'll recover.

Hope you find a solution soon.

Snowsnake · 22/03/2018 22:21

He's out😀...for now..school want us to think about it ,before we do anything rash..been out for 2 weeks

Snowsnake · 22/03/2018 22:21

I name changed by the way

Snowsnake · 22/03/2018 22:35

its funny ,how many times I used to say to him,when I was a little girl I would of loved to of gone to your school...you know ,we couldn't of wished for a nicer school lovely dedicated teachers ,it was simply just overwhelming for him...we are currently ploughing through walking with dinosaurs on DVD,I'm ahem slightly fond of Dinios so thought I'd take the opportunity to introduce him to ..some of my passions...we've also been visiting parks..he never plays on parks..because they are for children..so we are doing a tally chart of each park we visit,so he tries out each piece of equipment...maths and exercise..😁😜

QueenStreaky · 23/03/2018 06:56

Ah, that sounds lovely! You'll see a different side to him now that he's not under constant stress. And you'll be happier too, because you won't have the fallout to deal with.

Have you deregistered? Some schools will try and implement a 'cooling off' period but that's not a legal requirement and you can just tell them to bugger off. If you've sent the letter and they've acknowledged it, you've deregistered and if the school chooses not to remove him from the roll, they're acting outside of the law. Their bad, not yours though.

Good luck to you and your boy x

Snowsnake · 23/03/2018 07:33

The other home ed thread ...home ed how do you do it is mine as well 😀

Snowsnake · 23/03/2018 07:34

Thankyou queen x

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