Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Can I HE my year 9 daughter who has severe depression?

3 replies

Retreatbynameretreatbynature · 22/11/2017 17:15

My darling girl is suffering so much at the moment with severe depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. School have totally failed her and she cannot cope with being there. She has tried online learning but hates the isolating feel and this only adds to her feelings of detachment and hopelessness. She has asked me if I will HE for the next few months so that she can hopefully recover without the added pressures she feels because of online learning. Would this make sense? I have only just lost my DF so I am still grieving although I cannot really do this because of my DD’s emotional needs. But I know that I have to be in a strong place mentally myself to help my DD learn and to provide her with the educational opportunities she needs.
I am desperate to help her though. She is a very bright, usually articulate person who has been side swiped by these mental health difficulties. Her CAMHS team encourage and advise structure and routine. I agree, but they don’t really allow for the very fragile mental state of my DD and the acute need for personal interaction that she cannot have via online learning. But mainstream is simply out of the question for her . There doesnt seem to be a huge HE network near us so that will also provide an obstacle perhaps.

OP posts:
SpringSnowdrop · 22/11/2017 17:21

Yes I would say if you can you absolutely should- I’ve always felt i’ll only send our DC as long as they are happy there (they are) and it sounds like your DD needs a huge change.
I wouldn’t even worry about the learning side yet as you’ll find your feet- and maybe can travel to meet others? I have a friend who HEs and always struck by the freedom and lack of cares her dc have but I’m too nervous to try unless need to.
I do hope things get easier and sorry it’s sounding tough

Jasminedes · 22/11/2017 17:24

Can you ask CAMHS about hospital education service or your area's equivalent (tutoring for ill children while awaiting reintegration to school).

Saracen · 23/11/2017 00:48

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. This sounds like a tough time for you!

Go with your instincts. It sounds like you feel that a spell of home education could be good for your daughter.

If online school is stressful for your daughter but you think she needs routine, the two of you can work together to create a routine which doesn't have to be based on very stressful situations.

For example, your routine might include getting up and having breakfast at a certain time followed by a walk to the shops and doing housework together, then reading a book of her choice for an hour, and getting some exercise which could be a choice between swimming, trampolining or dancing to the radio. Then listen to a podcast, do art or music, and so on.

You could think in very broad terms where your daughter's social needs are concerned. She might enjoy the company of other teens, but there are other ways for her to feel connected and happy also. Could she do some voluntary work, perhaps with you if she needs the extra support right now? The two of you might work together in a charity shop, for example, or join a "green gym" to do conservation work in a team, or deliver library books to elderly people who can't get out easily. You might join a drop-in community choir together. Those types of activities would add structure to your week. Animals and younger children may help your daughter to feel needed and admired without putting great social demands on her. Does the local animal sanctuary need voluntary dog walkers, or would you want to join the Cinnamon Trust? Do you have young friends or relatives who would like your daughter to visit and play with them?

You may have a long and difficult road ahead. You've tried several avenues already to help your daughter. Don't be afraid to keep experimenting to see whether you can find the right way forward.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page