DD about to begin home ed adventure - any advise gratefully accepted

[sunbeams1]

We have made the decision to HE our 8yr old DD. She is currently in mainstream school (year 3) and is one of a class of 38. DH and myself have had long talks about HE for DD and have always come up with excuses why we couldn't pull her out of mainstream school. (Mainly our fear of doing the wrong thing).

DD suffers from severe anxiety and has panic attacks. She has low self confidence and very little self worth. She also struggles with dyslexia. Her teacher is a very young NQT and only has a part time TA. DD's peers range from the very very gifted and talented children, to a child from abroad, whose first language is not English and also has additional learning needs.

One of my problems is I also work at the school as a 1;1 LSA, so I can see both sides of the mainstream problems. The class size/staffing levels etc are sadly down to funding. Stressed and over stretched staff are far from ideal.

The final straw was looking through the window of DD's classroom and seeing her silently crying as she didn't understand the task set, and the teacher hadn't noticed DD. My heart broke.

So it's decided. From September I will be providing HE for DD. My contract comes to an end at the end of this term too.

Can any of you lovely people offer me any advise on how I can get my little girl back? How to approach HE so as not to increase her anxiety levels, but to reduce them and enable her to be the happy little girl she was before.

Any tips or advise would be welcomed. TIA xx

Hi. It sounds like you've made a good judgement call on behalf of your DD and hopefully September will be the beginning of a new adventure for you both!

Read up a bit on 'deschooling'; it's basically the idea that when you start home educating after a period of formal/school education, you take plenty of time to settle in before looking at curriculum and schedules. Explore the world (term time is so great for museums, galleries, even playgrounds!), have a look at what home ed groups are local to you and just relax for bit while you both find your groove. With home education you can approach learning in so many ways and the best way to find what works for you is to dabble in a fairly gentle, relaxed way with lots of methods. So visits to the library, arts and crafts at home and day trips out and exploring what really interests your DD are a great way to start. Approaching it like that (as opposed to a more rigid tutoring type scenario from the off) will hopefully keep your DD's anxiety at bay and help her - and you - approach the new challenge with a really positive mindset.

Disclaimer: I do not currently home ed but I am an enthusiastic reader about it all and am considering it for my DD5.

Hi
Think of ways that she can keep in touch with any friends.
Join/keep on with groups e.g. Brownies or dance. So that she's used to being part of a group.
Join a swimming class for fitness.
I've never home educated but used to be a primary teacher, think about your plans for secondary school and set long term goals for what you'd like her to achieve by then?
Good luck!

Hi there. :)

I've been home educating for three years now. Feel free to send a pm with any questions you have and I'll get back to you :)

I HE although a teen.

I agree with deschooling for as long as you need - we didn't listen to this at the beginning and regret it, and meet up with other HE families for ideas and confidence - there are usually FB groups, you might want to join more than one if you're on the edge of different areas, as they all do a range of different things.

Good luck!

Yes, deschooling. Unless you are sure it wouldn't suit your daughter or there is some other reason against it, start off by removing all academic "work" from your agenda for a few months at least. Don't make her do handwriting practice or maths worksheets. Instead, let her relax and do whatever she enjoys, whether academic or not.

This should help her to let go of some anxiety. Spending time on things she likes, whether that is playing with stuffed toys or kicking a ball around or reading novels, will boost her self-esteem, as she will be engaged with what she is doing.

Focus your efforts on helping her to enjoy herself. Play with her, read to her, take her out to the places she likes to visit, help her find books and videos about anything which interests her.

You have all the time in the world to do formal work on academics if that is the route you later decide to take; with individual attention your daughter will be learning much more efficiently than she did at school. Some families continue with this interest-led approach in the long-term, while others prefer a more parent-directed style. There are many different ways to go about it. You might benefit from going along to local HE groups to chat with other parents about how they do it and get some inspiration for what might suit your own daughter.

If and when you do start on more formal learning, you might introduce it gradually, beginning with your daughter's favourite/strongest subject so she will have positive experiences from the outset.

Have fun!

That is heartbreaking, looking through the window to see your dd crying in a lesson. I don't have home ed experience but I am currently a secondary teacher and I have lost all faith in our education system. I am very pro home ed, which I never would have thought I'd be saying even just 5 years ago. Just want to wish you and your dd luck and hope it goes well and you get your happy little girl back. Deschooling sounds like a great way to start!

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies. I will most definitely let Emily de-school for as long as it takes.

Having had 'move up day' at school last week and to find out for every afternoon DD would be part of a class of 42 with an NQT and PT TA.
So, we are even more sure we have made the right choice for DD and for us.

Thank you again