Questions from Astrophe who is considering Home Ed...Pros please help.

[Astrophe]

My DCs are 2.7 and 9 months, but I've always said I'd think carefully about HE when the time came, and I guess its time to start thinking for DD (2.7 yo). She has a June B'day, but hopefully we will be back in Aust before she starts school so she wont have to start until she is 5.5 years.

Here are my questions - any advice not specificly answering questions ia also very welcome.

1. Did your kids go to nursery? My DD goes one morning already, and I feel like I've already sold out! She loves it though.

1. The reason she goes is that I can't give DS enough time and energy, as DD is so high energy and quite bright and intense. How would I cope with HE without a break from her?

1. Do you get breaks from your kids during the week? How?

1. Tips/strategies on HEing with babies and older kids (we'd like some more in a couple of years)?

5.Are you all super organised people? I'm not, so a bit afraid the whole thing would go to pieces, and they'd never learn anything!

6.Those of you who have removed kids from school after a few years - was it planned that way? Or was it because school didn't work out?

1. Do you use a curriculum, or generally do you own activities and planning?

8.If we do HE, the initial plan would be to keep them t home until the age of 8 or so. Does anyone have experience of this? I'm not happy to have my kids thrown into the straight jacket of school at 4 or 5 years as they are still babies!

1. The longest I would consider (at this stage anyway!) HE is to the end of primary. How do kids cope with transition from home to high school?

Thats it for now, though I'm sure I#ll have plenty more. Thanks for reading and sorry to be boring.

Astro

Quick answers.

1. Did your kids go to nursery? My DD goes one morning already, and I feel like I've already sold out! She loves it though.

8 out of the 9 went to nursery. No problems. However, I have seen the methods at our nursery change over the years and I don't like the way it's gone. Much more formal and less play.

1. The reason she goes is that I can't give DS enough time and energy, as DD is so high energy and quite bright and intense. How would I cope with HE without a break from her?

Get out and about as much as you can. Talk to dd about everything. Do things with her that she is interested in. Let her help you with things that you are doing. Your ds will join in when he is able to.

1. Do you get breaks from your kids during the week? How?

No breaks.

1. Tips/strategies on HEing with babies and older kids (we'd like some more in a couple of years)?

The babies will fit in with the rest of the family. The older children will see what is involved in looking after babies. A lesson in itself

5.Are you all super organised people? I'm not, so a bit afraid the whole thing would go to pieces, and they'd never learn anything!
No, not very organised. As long as you are interested in them and provide opportunities for them to do a variety of things they are interested in then they will learn.

6.Those of you who have removed kids from school after a few years - was it planned that way? Or was it because school didn't work out?
dd5 (6y) removed at the end of reception as school didn't work out.
dd4 (8y) removed at end of y3 as think HE is the better option and she was all for it.
dd3 (10y) still in school, her choice.
dd2 (11y) didn't transfer to secondary school.
ds1,ds2,dd1,ds3 all gone/going through school system.
dd6 (3y) Will be he-ed.

1. Do you use a curriculum, or generally do you own activities and planning?

No curriculum. Own activities and planning

8.If we do HE, the initial plan would be to keep them t home until the age of 8 or so. Does anyone have experience of this? I'm not happy to have my kids thrown into the straight jacket of school at 4 or 5 years as they are still babies!
No experience of this.

1. The longest I would consider (at this stage anyway!) HE is to the end of primary. How do kids cope with transition from home to high school?

No experience of this. We did it the other way around.

Re: curriculum, it's really easy to become a curriculum junkie, I've found. What we actually use is a simple phonics/reading programme with some basic worsheets and then just read loads and loads. We've also got a basic maths program that works on similar lines. But apart from that we just let them explore the world.

I have friends who use 'Sonlight' curriculum, just because they really like the security of having a set curriculum, and it helps them to feel a bit more organized. I have still others who use the 'ACE' system, but it was just way too like school for us.
When we do eventually formalize a bit more, we'll probably use some like Veritas press as a guide because that's direction we want to go in.

But I have reams of curriculum/resources catalogues, and I am a bit of a sad act, I do enjoy sitting and browsing through them all.
Most HEders I've spoken to have found they had at least one false start, as in they thought they'd go one way and ended up doing something different.

Hi Astrophe,
Nice of you to notice that these thread generally do drift from the OP lol

1. We sent our Dd to Nursery and it was a very positive experience. 6 children from the Toddlers I run went with her and she has good friendships with these children. The Nursery was as good as I could hope for and I will be sending Ds in September as well.

1. Well Dd is rather high maintenance shall we say, but she gets calmer as she gets older. If you have friends who are willing to playdate or parents who are willing to play an active role in their education then I would opt for this. You could always consider a childminder for one afternoon a week if you want time apart.

1. Dd does go to clubs which releases some pressure. My mum/dad want them all one half day per week for some quality tme together and I work one day too.

1. Hmm, not sure, will let you know in 6 weeks as that's when I'm due my third.

1. Yes I am quite well organised generally, but thats because I have two kids, and really dislike not being able to find anything, nothing to do with HE. I think being organised comes alongwith kids tbh, you kind of have to be organised to some extent don't you otherwise you'd never leave the house!

1. Pass, she's only done one term, but we saw enough in that space to make us think it wasn't for any of us.

1. We thought we'd start out using a curriculum, but have gently moved away from that idea. We may revisit it when Dd is about 7, but I don't know if that's because she already reads and writes above her age level that we feel confident about leaving or not. Maybe if she hadn't attained as much yet we may feel differently. We'll be child led for the moment.

1. We don't have a plan for how long to do this. If they ask to go back to school then they can go, otherwise Dh really wants them to avoid Comp altogether and facillitate up to GCSE level. We're happy to keep going until they state otherwise.

1. We aren't there yet! For us it's very important that we avoid Secondary as it stands atm. We feel this is where education plummets in quality, peer pressure is highest, as is risk of bullying. We may change our minds as the time approaches.

Good luck with whatever you decide Astrophe!

Thanks everyone. It looks like there are many more options than I first realised, and lost of flexible arrangements that I had not considered eg, Other people helping out, using a child minder etc.

TBH, the thing I worry most about is that I wont cope with how full on HE must be. I am currently recovering (hopefully) from PND and realise I need to be careful not to push myself to breaking point! And my 2.5 yo DD is bright, willful, and has some quite challenging behaviour, so I hope I will be able to handle her well. I'm a bit afraid if she did go to school though, she might get labelled as the 'naughty' kid very quickly, which would be a disaster for her.

hi astrophe, i mean to respond to you on the other thread but got distracted by eyebrow waxing

ok.

my dcs are 3.4 and 18 m

1. Did your kids go to nursery? My DD goes one morning already, and I feel like I've already sold out! She loves it though.

of course you're not selling out! there is no secret he'rs list, you don't get points deducted for not doing it "right" ![ wink]

we don't use nursery. ds won't go which is actually why i've been tipped over into HEing. if he was willing to go i'd probably send him, i 'd like a break!

1. The reason she goes is that I can't give DS enough time and energy, as DD is so high energy and quite bright and intense. How would I cope with HE without a break from her?

ok 2 things we do: soft play and lots of HE groups. also playdates. anything to get other kids for mine to play with in a safe environment. also, mummy time is instituted and I am as as strict as pos about this. after lunch on a "home day" (twice a week) = mummy having a cup of tea and a read of a magazine while kids play. oh yes. this is hard at first but they get used to it. your 9 mo is too young probably though

1. Do you get breaks from your kids during the week? How?

not really, though mrfillyjonk takes them all day saturday so i can study

1. Tips/strategies on HEing with babies and older kids (we'd like some more in a couple of years)?

pass, except make sure to pace yourself. i really don't see a problem with using the tv to get a break, if you need one. you are human and must avoid burn out!

5.Are you all super organised people? I'm not, so a bit afraid the whole thing would go to pieces, and they'd never learn anything!

mrfillyjonk says also

we are unschoolers-very child led. we do lots of "strewing"-leaving stuff around for them to "discover".

My kids thus far are, like me, chronically unteachable. they have to learn for themselves, it seems. so doubt we'd ever use a curriculum as such.

1. Do you use a curriculum, or generally do you own activities and planning?

see above

actually what I am trying to do is not so much plan as keep a record and in this way identify obvious gaps.

i have a core of a few activities that we do a lot, and I figure that they cover the preschool basics. they are music (recorders, little violins, percussion, singling and dancing), baking, playing games (hide and seek, snakes and ladders, hopscotch etc), reading and drawing/crafts. (i think thats it). I am always amazed at how much can be covered with these activities. eg baking-weighing, measuring, cutting out shapes, basic science etc.

8.If we do HE, the initial plan would be to keep them t home until the age of 8 or so. Does anyone have experience of this? I'm not happy to have my kids thrown into the straight jacket of school at 4 or 5 years as they are still babies!

I think this is a common plan. Certainly people transfer to school at secondary. Also though, IME, people get more confident and the whole thing becomes second nature and kids end up being kept out for all school. You are NOT tied into this though.

the 3 things that have helped me most are:

1. making contact with local HErs. actually i didn't gel so much with my strictly local group (older kids, all knew each other) so joined in with a slightly further away group which is much more lovely. I also have email he friends which helps enormously

1. reading lots. have lots of books btw. will try to get round to posting a list in anyone wants to borrow any.

1. checking out the local schools. I have a local school which i am as happy with as I would be with any school, it is undersubscribed but is pretty good really, very socially mixed with around 50 languages spoken which is what I would go for for my kids. so i have that reassurance.

2. The longest I would consider (at this stage anyway!) HE is to the end of primary. How do kids cope with transition from home to high school?

1. Elder dd went to fantastic Montessori nursery. V. expensive but worth it. When she left at 4 she could read, write, do maths, name organs in the body and draw the correct position on body!

Younger dd (3) is at nursery now and will stay probably till she's 4.5. I need time alone with dd7 to get some more 'formal' work done.

1. The lo is also 'high energy and bright' this is why I send her to nursery, at this young age I can't reason with her, so in a years time it will be easier to have her here at home, full time.
2. Yes I get breaks, I go salsa dancing and yoga in the evenings. We have children next door so quite often my girls play there from 3.45 onwards and at weekends and school holidays.
3. Can't answer as I just wouldn't consider having another baby now I've decided to take the HE path.

However, I know lots of large HE families who probably take a more autonomous approach or one who has an au pair! 5.Yes I have to be organised! 6.I never planned to HE but after spending time helping out in my dds class I realised I could do a better job myself.

1. I have KS2 books and use them as a guideline but I think the NC is very limited and dull and turns out spoon fed sausages.
2. It will be my dds decision if and when they return to school.

9.Don't know from personal experience but I know a few HE kids who tried school but didn't like it and went back to HE.

Happy Xmas everybody!

I feel like I've already sold out

The reason a lot of HE send their kids to nursery I think is because it is play based and lots of craft so it's more the HE style.
It's only when they go on to reception that the poor little buggers have to sit down, shut up wear a uniform that strips their identity and do 'formal' stuff at a way too young age, (for most).
Please don't feel like you've 'sold out'!

Interesting thread.

LOL at uniform 'stripping identity' though

How many school educatated teenagers have you met that are stripped of identity? I have met exactly none and I teach around 200 of them them

Wow, thanks everyone. Its great to get so many responses. I'm feeling much more positve about HE now - it actually seems 'do-able', even with intense kids, possibly lots of kids, and me not being super organised!

I'm excited at the thought of my kids having the space and time to be kids for a bit longer, even if we only manage an extra year or two at home and then the start school. I'm also excited at the thought of them enjoying learning things which are relevant and ineresting to them, and being able to explore their interests in depth. And I ove the thought that they will be able to spend lots of time dancing, climbing, pottering, painting etc, even if only for an extra year or so (I'm just starting with small goals!).

Fortunately for us the Australian school system is moving towards staring school later, so my DD is not due to start until she is 5.5, and my DS can start either at almost 5 or almost 6. So we've got a bit of leeway, and even if we only managed to keep them at home for just one extra year, they would be close to 7 by the time they started, which I would feel much more comfortable with.

And thanks all for the encouragement to decide what we need/want and figure out how to do it, rather than stick with a prescribed way of 'doing' HE. I feel comfortable with DD being at nursery now, and agree Runnerbean that it is not at odds with our philosophy in the ways that school is.

I think over the next 6 months or so we need to do some thinking about how we might set HEing into motion - ie what we want to do/not do, who can help us, what we can afford in terms of tutors/extra classes/groups etc, what sort of a routine we will follow (if any!). I think we will spend the next year or so 'practicing' activities etc to see what we like and what DD learns well from.

When DD is 4 we will be going to Europe for 6 months (we hope) to travel 'round on the way back to Aust, so some wonderful oportunities for learning while we travel. She will be 4.5 when we get back, so perfct time to begin HE 'officially'.

Does anyone have any helpful advice for this 'pre' HE stage? Questions to ask ourselves, things to think about/plan for, people or authorities to get in touch with?

Thanks again everyone, and sorry for the essay! Its great to know there are pthers with some similar ideas and concerns out there.

Astro.

oh, and what John Holt book should I read first please?

oh god, read them all!

what exactly are you after? teach your own is full of reassuring stories and ideas but is low on exposition. how children learn is one of his early works, but is a very useful analysis of learning mechanisms. and an easy read.

another angle on it is his musical autobiography, never too late. i like holt because, although he focusses on kids, he is really interested in lifelong learning, in getting rid of this idea that learning is something done to you at school when you are a child.

I also like a life worth living, his letters. its out of print. ditto escape from childhood.

are you in australia? I could have leant you a book or two if you'd been closer

thanks fillyjonk, I've ordered how children learn and onother book on unschooling b someone whos name I've forgotten (the unschooling handbook???) off amazon.

I'm not in australia, but I'm australian, living in the uk for another 18 months or so (been here a year ), then going travelling, then back to aust to live...well, thats the plan anyway! So if we home ed, our kids can spend less time inside, and more time in the sunshine! hooray!

so i might take you up on the book loan in the future...will see how I get on with these two first.

ah well I have quite a few.

The only ones I really go back to are John Holt and (now) Alfie Kohn. Oh and David Elkind. But they are not homeschoolers, they are child psychologists really, and most reassuring they are too...

Open offer to borrow homeschooling books, anyway. I find theres such a variation in feel among them, so if you fancy previewing you are welcome. I have quite a few odd books kicking around. let me know.

oh and in particular, if I can palm off that godawful free range education book on you...