How would Home Ed work in this situation?

[longdiling]

I think I'm probably far too conventional to seriously consider Home Education but I keep mulling it over for my oldest. She's in Year 6 now and over the years in school I've seen her change from a confident, sociable child who is eager to learn into a shy girl with not many friends, little confidence and who complains about school every day and has very little enthusiasm for learning anything. She is also dreading secondary school so much that it makes her shake when she thinks about it - although she knows little about it yet, transitions haven't started.

I often find myself thinking that home education would work well for her but these are the issues that I feel are insurmountable:

I'm a childminder. I don't have loads of kids here in the day as I do lots of after school care but it would still be a distraction and tricky to give her my full attention.

She has siblings who are thriving in school. They are round pegs happy in their round holes. As she has struggled they've thrived. I would loathe to take them out of somewhere that seems to work so well for them but I'm sure if they saw their older sister 'not having to go to school' they wouldn't want to go either. I don't think I could home educate all 3 even if it was the best thing for them - and I don't think it is.

Finally!! How does home education work at year 7 plus? How do I teach her a foreign language or about subjects like physics??

Thanks

1. childminding. She does not need 1-1 attention all day long. How much 1-1 attention does a secondary age school child get in a day? My only concern would be how you would manage to give her social opportunities - there will be home educated children of a similar age in your area, but you'll find it hard to get to groups with mindees in tow. There are always ways around these things, though, maybe with trying to get weekend meetups going.

But easy to get her set off on something, and help when she has a question in among the mindees - all parents of multiple children get used to juggling as many simultaneous conversations as they have family members, right?

1. You have to do what is right for each child. I know lots of families with some in and some out of school. And I don't think you should do what is suboptimal for one child because you think the others will be jealous. If they are jealous, cross that bridge when you come to it - if the oldest is simply not going to cope with secondary, then her welfare comes first at this point.

1. Some people use tutors. Some sign up to Interhigh or Briteschool or one of the other internet schools. Some people use networks of home educators and drop their children off at various HE classes which, because they tend to be run as co-ops or within the HE community, are not expensive. Some people buy syllabuses and prepare for exams. Some people use workbooks. Some use text books. Some step away (until about year 9 or 10) from formal education, and let the child follow their own interests and learn how they themselves like to learn, and what they are passionate about. Some go on that way around year 9 or 10 but, if you want her to have a clutch of GCSEs all done together aged 16, then there's a moment when it has to get formal...

What ommmward said!

Thank you ommmward, that's really helpful. She's had a good day today after being miserable going in so I'm back to thinking maybe I'm crazy for even considering it.

It's always good to look at other options though...I'll keep mulling...

Well, if you are seriously considering the idea of home ed, now could be an ideal time to try it. Your daughter could just do Y6 at home. After that, if you decide HE isn't working well, then she could simply start secondary in the autumn as planned, without any transition issues. Rejoining school at the start of Y7 would be no harder than moving from primary to secondary. She'd be new to the school alongside everyone else. No harm done.

On the other hand if you wait until next year to try home ed, it might be a harder thing to dip a toe in the water. You might wonder whether it's too disruptive to remove her from school, given that you may be sending her back again in a few months' time. That fear might cause you to hesitate for a long time over trying home ed, even if school is causing her major trauma.

So try it now, when it doesn't look like such a risk.

(I am such a home ed "pusher"! )

That's a really good point actually Saracen. I think next time DD starts talking about not liking school we need to have a good long chat.

Nothing wrong with being a home ed 'pusher' - I've always been interested in it and thought it looks fantastic, especially for 'square pegs'. I'm not entirely sure I'm seriously considering. It would be viewed as completely bonkers where I live and I don't know if I'm strong enough to withstand that kind of judgement. I've always thought it was a brilliant idea but I'd personally need to feel school was completely unworkable in order to justify it iyswim? I'm not sure we're at that stage.

I think you'll find that home ed is considered bonkers wherever you live! I took my eldest out of school earlier this year and I find the "So ... how's IT going?" questions from old school compadres wearing at times. I feel I'm regarded like a curiosity now, and I know plenty of people probably think I'm mad. But, my kids are thriving. They are so happy, curious, enthusiastic ... alive to the possibilities of the world. This is what sustains me when I feel like I'm the only one swimming against the tide. People ask me what happened at school that made home ed. There wasn't any sort of cataclysmic event, more just a creeping dissatisfaction with the whole school system really. This led me to find out about the alternatives and then home ed became a positive choice not a last resort because 'school's rubbish'. It felt like such a big deal at the time but now it feels normal and natural. Given your work circumstances I think it would suit you fine. I would say give it a try. She can always go back.

Just to put forward the other point of view, depending on the current issues you might find secondary completely different.

My youngest was definitely a square peg at primary, but as secondary was so much larger he found plenty of similar square pegs and is so much happier.

Hi
Not been here for a while. Eldest is HE (he was far from thriving at school), #2 goes to school (thrives= gifted) #3 goes to special school. I childmind and I foster. Eldest has been HE for 3 years and is now doing exams.

For us it works wonderfully. We don't recreate school. We are flexible and fit around everything else which is going on. I have adapted my childminding routine and have reduced numbers to fit in the formal book work (a couple of hours a day). I was worried at taking the step initially but now I consider it to be the best period in my life (so far). Eldest has found his feet and is aiming high despite his dyslexia. I've maintained my high childminding grading and our foster child has become longterm. It has been a success.

You can do it too. Just remember it's early days so relax and don't go scheduling crazy.

Wow maggi, how lovely to hear that it's working so well for your family!