Should we..Shouldn't we?

[doobydoo]

Hi There
Just wondered if i could use you as a sounding board.
I will try to be brief.
DS is 7.Went to school in uk for 2 terms then we moved to Ireland.Went to a school here for3 months..he did not like it neither did we and his behaviour changed[grumpy etv]so we home edded for a year and met up with a wonderful home ed family. and ds seemed to thrive in many ways.The prob is ds wanted to try school again as he wants to see other children.He is really only going so he can meet other kids..certainly not for the academic side[which is another issue]anyway a few things have happened at the school that dp and i aren't happy about.and ds now has more activities to go to as we are more settled.
However,ds does seem to have lost confidence in some areas.
But my question is...Is it unfair of us to expect him to make the decision about whether or not he wants to go to school[we have said he dosen't have to go..but i think he feels he won't see other kids as much]But that alone is not a good enough reason to send him to schoolmis it?
Nor do we want to take away his freedom of choice.But i feel it is abig choice for a 7 year old to make and maybe we shoulod sit down and say that this is what we would do/provide if he felt he did not want to go.
I hope this makes sense but i feel muddled and scared that we will do the wrong thing.

Just bumping out of desperation

the only advice i can give is from my experiance at being home educated......i found it very hard to socialise as i got older and had very few friends....confidence wasnt great and i really wished i'd have gone to school to just have the 'normal' life experiances that all kids need to go through.......sticking up for themselves, friends, crowds, school plays, p.e, dance....things like that....
hope that helps

I personally think that 7 is far to young to make such a big decision and the fact that he might feel that it is his decision to make may be incredibly scary for him. Children like clear, firm boundaries and guidelines - they make them feel secure. Your son cannot possibly think through and understand all the consequences of whatever he decides. By all means ask him for his opinion and take it into account, but you are the parent and it is your responsibility to sort this one out. I am assuming that he knows that you are not happy with his school - if you are not positive about it, how can he be? It is possible that he feels he has to be negative about the school too as he thinks that that is what you expect from him. First of all - does the decision have to be school v no school, or is there an option of a different school? If you think that he is only going to school for the social side (and for most kids his age that is all they care about - they certainly aren't considering the quality of their education) as long as he is happy, can you accept that and suplement his education at home? Finally, if you feel that school really isn't right for him can you make some clear plans for activities to show him that he will still spend x number of hours a week with his friends? Most important though is to be consisent with your decision for a while at least to stabilise the situation a bit. Sorry if this all sounds very prescriptive - it's not meant to be, just you sound very confused and I'm hoping to add clarity

Is he unhappy at school? If you and dh are unhappy with various aspects of the school, is how you feel affecting how your ds thinks that you think he should feel about school? Are the things you are unhappy with causing your ds at problem at school?
I'm only asking because one of my dds thought that her being he-ed was what her dad and I wanted and didn't want to upset us by telling us she wanted to stay at school. Eventually she told me that she wanted to stay at school. It was only when we reassured her that we wouldn't make her do anything she didn't want to that she relaxed. She is still at school and enjoys it.
on.

I disagree

I think its mainly his decision, unless you are concerned about the effect on the rest of the family/youself or whatever.

its not a once and for all thing, is it? He can go to school or stay out for a bit and reassess in a year or two.

I agree 100% about the importance of social opportunities for HE kids, espceially outgoing ones.

Is it possible to get more involved with the HE community locally? Or even just stuff like scouts? Dunno much (anything) about irish education law but could you flexi-school?

Thanks for the input everyoneLots of conflicting views which sums up my state of mind.Dp and i are discussing it on and off.We won't make any hasty moves!I don't think theey would go for flexi schooling in the part of Ireland we are..he is really only going for the social side but other stuff that we are not happy with encroaches..ifyswim.
Thankws again.