Anyone home-ed 4, almost 3yo with 1yo in tow?

[littleraysofsunshine]

Typo..

Sorry 4.5 yo, 2.10mo and 14mo...

Near enough ... 5, 3 & 1.5

Doable but hardwork, as is anything with 3 that young.

The advantage is you can do a fair amount of activities that all join in, but on different levels. Eg playing with play dough recently, oldest made a 'planet Earth' and a flattened out world map (artistic if not realistic ). Middle enjoyed stamping dinosaur footprints & remaking a flattened out round. Youngest enjoyed using pattern stampers & dinosaurs to make marks.

Some activities with small parts, like Lego I do with oldest when younger 2 are otherwise occupied.

Groups outside of the home are good - home ed & 'mainstream' (like children's centres), but figure out what's right for you. Other larger families I know vary between wanting to get out to a group every day to limiting it to a manageable for them number of activities. Of course, plenty of other trips outside from bigger ones to the more everyday, like park, library visits, shopping, walks 'just because'. Any walk can become very educational, to all ages.

I also like to do a little more formal maths & English work each day with the oldest. Plus some work on our project of the moment (reading on the topic, watch video, play game, discuss, have a quiz, craft activity, add more info to a lap book/wall display etc).

Plenty of different approaches to home ed, so go easy on yourself as you experiment and find what works for you all for now.

I found this system really helped me get more out of time & helped me plan/structure more but free us up to go with the flow:
www.homeschooling-ideas.com/support-files/plannedspontaneity.pdf

Any particular concerns at present?

4yo girl goes to preschool 15hoirs a week at the minute and she loves it. And now nearly 3yo goes 3 hours a week. I just don't feel like primary schools are right for a kid that won't even be 5 by the time due to start. I was then thinking of her doing the PT hours as mentioned on the gov website, until January but even then I think seven is a good age to start the actual primary age... What do you think?

I know I sound very naive with it all really. We have always done groups from birth, and activities at home. I just don't like the feeling of not being enough for them with it, especially 4yo who thrives on learning things, challenging things as she's very intelligent too. As is nearly three yo who likes a lot of play, and 14mo just is in the eat everything stage. So I hate to not give time to each need with a good balance?

I don't care for negative responses but I know certain family members will make remarks about not sending to mainstream, as they haven't a clue on home ed. and where dd is so bright maybe I will be holding her back?

Thank you for responding by the way x

I think it may help if you can identify for yourself what it is you're not happy with re infant stage of school. If it's the style of work, a lot of reception is play based, then moving to more work in Y1. However, schools vary. So, if you went ahead with sending to school, I'd look carefully & ask questions to find out if the level of play based learning is what you're after. If it's the length of school day/the time away from home or something similar, then obviously home ed wld tackle these.

A lot of the more formal stuff I do with DC1 would look more like school work. But, it's because it suits us both and DC1 very keen on it. May be a different story when DC2 is that age.

I'd recommend finding local home ed groups or families and reading how others do it. Hopefully these will inspire you and build confidence. Another thing I found very helpful when unsure about things was keeping a diary (still do), logging all we did in a day. It helped me realise just how much I achieve with all 3 and highlighted any areas I felt needed improving. The thing is, at these young ages in particular, it will largely be a case of doing much the same as you're already doing, just more of it.

And you're most welcome

Another thought... I think it may be harder initially if you're used to nursery etc as home ed is just a different way of life. But when you settle into it, the unknown becomes the familiar and you wonder why you were concerned until the next parenting worry hits

Littleray, my children were 4,3 and 1 when starting HE, it's honestly fine!

From a practical perspective, we find that he older two prefer to do some things when DS is napping (he has 2 hours so plenty of time for them alone) and naturally there are times when each needs something and the other two are occupied and equally, times when we have to find a solution when each needs/ wants something at the same time - no different to all parents in that respect, just more time to play with in a day!

Mine went to a really lovely Montessori nursery prior to HE, but I found personally that this began to in the way of the sibling relationships and to be honest, was a lot more difficult than having them all at home together, so we stopped and have found our own little rythem that pretty much works for us (every family is different!).

We don't do any curriculum or school work or anything formal (they do have access to this and use as and when they feel), although again, this is something that you can figure out as you read and learn more about HE and how different people approach it. A 'bright' child wouldn't be held back in HE as she will get what she needs, often this is more difficult in schools for a variety of reasons, but shouldn't out you off. We carry on as we did when they were toddlers - going activites and groups they enjoy, doing things at home they enjoy (cooking, playing...lots, gardening etc...) and other everyday tasks like shopping, running errands, putting washing away and the like. You'd be surprised at how much learning takes place in the every day tasks!!

As Moonwatching says, find local HE groups and definately start reading anything and everything about various approaches to HE to see what you think might fit (though be open to change, lots of people try several approaches until they find what works!).

There are also some really experienced HE'r on here who will give great advice with any specific worrys/questions and as you have seen from Moon, we are a really friendly and hopefully helpful bunch

Lol, will proof read my post next time...blooming iPad!

Watching with interest as mine are 4 and 3, and I am hovering over the home ed button constantly!

I wish I could just try it and see how it goes but I would feel so bad if it drove me mental and then I had to start the eldest part-way into reception.

Such a massive, important decision!

OP, you say, "I just don't feel like primary schools are right for a kid that won't even be 5 by the time due to start", but none of the children will be five, will they? They will all be at the same stage of development and can learn together.

I don't know how anyone can really home educate when there are babies and toddlers around. Any teachers preparing work at home will try to wait until their own babies and toddlers are out of the house or asleep, so that they can concentrate on preparation. If a toddler was walking round a normal classroom, most people wouldn't think the children there would get much done.

madmomma surely there are lots of children who start in January or April because they are born later in the year? So if you tried it out, yours wouldn't be the only one starting mid year, surely?

ImperialBlether some people do do preparation for their home ed - they have plans and curricula and work out what resources they need in advance and stuff. It doesn't take anything like as long as it does for a classroom teacher because of course they can tailor what they prepare so it meets the ages, abilities and aptitudes of their children rather than trying to create a fishing net with sufficiently narrow mesh to catch 90% of a mixed ability class of 30.

Other people (like me) don't do preparation in that sense. Instead, we make sure we have resources around the place and are poised and ready to answer questions and facilitate learning when needed. It's very like parenting a toddler - you don't teach a toddler to talk or walk, but they pick it up and you help where they seem to want you to - and my experience of children learning when they are older is that that confidence in learning continues right through, so making time for older children amongst younger ones is just that normal juggle of life with multiple children. Car journeys can be a really key moment for purposive conversations, while younger siblings are lulled by the car's motion. There's no law that says that the best learning is done at a desk with pen in hand. How much time per day does an average school child get one-on-one, on their own intellectual agenda, with their teacher? Even a mum with an arm full of younger children is going to equal or surpass that, without any difficulty.

Madmomma, you could start now, then come September if you decide home ed isn't for you, then your eldest could go to school instead. TBH you probably wouldn't be doing much more than you are now. Even if you wanted to take a more structured approach, it would be maybe 15 minutes of a phonics scheme per day plus some number/counting games. That would be about the extent of the formal 'work' at the beginning of Yr R anyway. Most home ed groups are open to those still 'thinking about it' so you could try going along to some to see what its like.

Laughing a little bit at the idea of waiting until the baby is in bed to do lesson planning Maybe in an ideal world it works that way, but mostly you juggle everything, until eventually it all gets done, whether the baby's asleep or not. That's just life when you have several children in the family.

Don't toddlers all over the country walk around classrooms? It's called pre-school! Plenty of 2 year olds playing near by a table of 4 year olds 'working'...often little ones learning from the bigger ones and vice versa through the course of a day (the same is very true in many HE families of all ages and age differences).

madmonna is there anything in particular that you think might drive you mental?

Mine were 4, 2 and 6 months when we started home edding. It was nice not to have to do a school/nursery run in the morning - big plus with two little ones and sleep deprivation. I found it worked to get out quite a bit and we did 3 or 4 home ed groups/activities most weeks. I was worried the little ones would miss out by not going to toddler groups, but I think they benefited so much from home ed groups instead, as they loved having older children around and learnt from them. My eldest is 11 now and they are all still home ed and say they want to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I'd definitely start looking at home ed groups now - it helped me to meet home edders before having to make the final decision in September. I had a fairly good idea of how life would be.

"Any teachers preparing work at home will try to wait until their own babies and toddlers are out of the house or asleep, so that they can concentrate on preparation. If a toddler was walking round a normal classroom, most people wouldn't think the children there would get much done."

ImperialBlether, teachers have a much more difficult task than HE parents, and it therefore requires a greater amount of preparation. Teachers are tasked with engaging dozens of children simultaneously in doing the same thing, regardless of whether each individual child is ready and inclined to be interested. That's a daunting task at the best of times. In such a challenging environment, additional distractions such as wandering toddlers are bound to be unwelcome.

Home educating parents have the luxury of focusing on the needs of just a few children. We can be flexible in accommodating a child's developmental level and even her mood. I was trying to read poetry to my child at bedtime tonight and became annoyed because she was muttering under her breath, clearly not listening to me. Then I discovered she was looking at the numbers in the table of contents in another book, looking for patterns. So I shut up and let her learn about how numbers work. For her it was a mathematical moment, not a poetry moment. I could not have prepared for that - who knows what will capture a child's interest? - but I did not need to. She was so engrossed in this activity of her own choosing that she hardly noticed her dad barging in asking me to help him find his keys.

Oh I don't know re children starting later in the year. I thought that didn't happen anymore, and from what I can find on the subject, it seems parents' preference holds no sway for mid-year applications.

I'm already hanging out with some local home edders, who are very nice and welcoming. I've been on a few trips with them.

Mumstheword18 I'm worried about not being able to provide enough stimulation for them, I'm worried about feeling overwhelmed by being with them 24-7 (dh is constantly working).

If you have an active home ed community, both those concerns can be allayed by doing things with other people several times a week. We are with other families 4 days a week now, either with just another couple of families (that's 2 days a week, and it's not always the same families on one of those days), and with a big crowd two days a week. Oh, and another couple of playdates sometimes squeeze in. Plenty of alternative stimulation for them and adult company and supper for ne. It took a while to get to this point, through grabbing and making opportunities

support not supper. Damn you autocorrect (though supper cooked by other people would be nice)

It's true. If you are lucky enough to live where there are a number of other HE families (most urban areas in England and Wales, for example) it is not too hard to keep your kids stimulated and have a break from them by getting together with other families and sometimes child-swapping. 3 and 4 year olds are particularly tiring to be with all the time and can't always be passed off easily to other people, depending on their personalities. But you can still get a break of sorts by being in a group where your kids' attention is elsewhere.

The older they get, the easier it becomes. My younger dd had her first solo playdate earlier this year, but we are well into it now! Today I am looking after two other families' kids at the park. Yesterday I dropped dd off to spend most of the day in a friend's paddling pool, after a home ed sports session. Tuesday some friends came round. Monday someone else took dd to a home ed group. Her big sister is even more independent, going to friends' houses and shopping and music lessons on the bus and on foot.

In some areas it is not so easy, say if you live rurally and don't drive, but you say you've already met some local families so I guess your area is pretty good for it?

The hardest time was definitely when I had just one child, aged four, before we had made many HE friends - Facebook etc weren't much used at that time.

I agree with Saracen and Ommmward in that hanging out with local home edders will definitely provide you with plenty of opportunities for activities/play dates etc...while also being a source of re-assurance for any 'wobbles' that you have (which might be the two you mentioned right now, but once you work those two out, something else will pop up...that's the nature of HE and parenting I guess!).

Do you mean academic stimulation Madmomma? With regard to any stimulation worries, it might be worth looking into different approaches of HEing if you haven't done already. It's great that you have been on trips already so these are an option in your area and the Internet is such an invaluable resource for whatever interests your children have or to make a topic that you are doing or curriculum you may be following more interesting etc...!

It's good to know that Saracen mentioned about things getting easier when they can be more independent in terms of playmates etc...and as Ommm says, adult company is important too - both of which might help you feel less overwhelmed. To be honest, I'm sure that everyone has bad days, but the good far outweigh these so on that front, in turn making it easier to be confident in your decision.

I agree that it's an important decision, but also there are no guarantees with school either, they may love it or may be seriously understimulated, the homework/school run/bedtime/meltdown battles may be just as overwhelming for you so I suppose it's about what is best for the children and of course what suits the whole family too.

Personally I wouldn't change it for the world, but then I would say that...

Food for thought. Thanks very much for the replies.x

Thank you for the replies will read rough now