Help with unschooling!!!

[Amberdays]

Hi, I'm new to the forum and new to home ed. I have an 8yo I withdrew from school and a 5yo who's only been to nursery but finished up a couple of weeks ago. I'm leaning towards (or should I say stumbling) towards pretty much autonomous approach which ideologically I'm sold on but by golly in practice I'm finding it a challenge! Although our days are busy and a whole bunch of stuff happens it's not books at the table learning and the schooled, institutionalised part of me can't help but worry a bit about it! How do I let go and let it happen? How can I help myself to unschool? Also, my kids don't want to go to local home ed meet ups ... We've made it to a couple and I've not found them easy and I don't think they have either. I'm not sure why, I'm not especially shy, nor are my kids. I don't feel I can drag them along against their will! But worry a bit about isolation etc and would love them to make other home ed friends. Ah ... it's early days I know, all in good time, would love to hear others thoughts and experiences. Xx

OK, you need to allow at least 3 months for your 8yo to recover from school and regain their confidence and intellectual independence. You were in formal education for, what, 13 years? 16 years? It could easily take you more than a year to recover, so go easy on yourself in that process.

Strongly advise that you get a diary or start a private blog. In it, just note down the things that happened today. Some people just do it with a couple of photos. Some people like to take ten minutes to think about which bits of today could be mapped onto what sorts of curriculum subjects. It is a really reassuring process, because you begin to realise how much your children know, and how much they are learning even though they aren't creating "educational product" for you.

Home Ed meets - get yourself onto your local HE facebook group, and ask if there are people with similar age children who would like to meet up as a one-on-one. Once you've got a couple of families who you feel comfortable with, you can extend from there. The problem with HE groups is that you are coming into a group of people where various sub groups see each other a lot, and it's hard to break into that if the people in the group aren't sensitive to helping new people join in. Taking along some things your children really love to play with can help (one of our HE groups routinely has a group of children bonding over a heap of lego, for example - if your children just start playing, and they have that little bit of control because its their lego, then others will come and join in). You will get there, you just have to find your "in". :) I know a woman who did regular themed meets at her own house (like, baking meet or lego meet or minecraft meet) and maybe 2 families would turn up each time, but that was enough for her to build a social circle for her and her children.

Nice to meet you ommmward. ? Yeah, I was aware that my daughter needs time to decompress ... A month per year at school. I know this and yet I still feel antsy about going with the flow! Okay, I am really going to go with that now. What happens happens. I think part of my issue is the questions from people about how it's all going etc. Most schooled people would be horrified by the reality of what we get up to! I'm not feeling confident enough to say what we do. Particularly to my mother in law ... Thanks for the advice on the meet ups. Yeah, I think what I'm sensing is that people all know each other and as you say probably have wee sub groups etc and it's very difficult as a newbie to come into that. The group appears to be very unstructured ie new people just have to come into it without introductions in a circle or any of that jazz and that's a bit difficult I think. Great idea re the kids and an activity. All the meet ups for my local group take place outside from now until next winter which is great but somehow meeting out makes chatting even harder particularly when the weather isn't great. Would love to get to a point where we know a couple of families and can do activities on a semi regular basis. I feel like a desperado in a way, which I know is daft. New home ed family seeks friends, please help etc.

One of my favourite groups is a walking group. Walking along you naturally keep pace with someone and chat for a bit one on one, then you drop back for some reason and swing in with someone else - very good for mixing I find. Didn't I see someone post a link to a 'how to unschool' Facebook group somewhere on here or did I imagine that??

Thanks niggle. Not aware of a walking group but it sounds like a nice thing. Maybe I'll start one. I'll have a look for via article you mention.

There is a "UK Unschooling Network" fb group that you would be welcome to join.
Do read the info about the group first though.