Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

In the early stages of considering HE, can I ask about your experience?

11 replies

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 02/03/2015 22:20

Hi, I am considering home educating my DCs, now 5 and 2. It's a fairly new idea so there's lots I don't know.

I wonder how easy it is to educate two children with a 3 year age gap - is it hard to find the time to focus on each individually? Does either miss out? And about structure. Do you have a set idea of what you will cover over a week, say? Do you plan it like teachers do lesson plans? Do you try to follow the National Curriculum? Do you plan to HE for primary and get a place in a good secondary, or HE all the way through?

And what about you. Do you ever doubt yourself and feel like you're failing your DCs? Do you get any time to yourself, ever?

How do you find other home educators? Are there any national organisations worth joining?

If you can give me any thoughts about what else I should be taking into account when considering this, that would be great too!

OP posts:
ommmward · 02/03/2015 22:44

I wonder how easy it is to educate two children with a 3 year age gap - is it hard to find the time to focus on each individually?

I haven't had trouble coping with the age gap - it's a matter of getting each gainfully occupied while you engage with the other, or else doing activities that work at different age levels (a 2 year old might just be smooshing playdough around, but a 5 year old might be using it for learning to make letters, or some kind of counting. Or smooshing it around would be fine too)

Does either miss out?
Well, I guess the children never get that monofocus of being an only child. I think they gain, in the end - my children find themselves coming along to things that are primarily for someone else's benefit, but quite often we find that actually someone who was supposed to be just coming along for the ride is the person who has got the most out of it

And about structure. Do you have a set idea of what you will cover over a week, say? Do you plan it like teachers do lesson plans? Do you try to follow the National Curriculum?

We are autonomous home educators. No structure. No curricula. No lesson plans. I just try to make sure the children have the resources they need, and answer their questions. They are in charge of their own learning. What I DO plan out (and it's on a big calendar on the wall, and they are absolutely engaged with it) is our activities each week - HE groups, other activities, meeting up with friends and family.

Do you plan to HE for primary and get a place in a good secondary, or HE all the way through?

At the moment, no plans to send them to school, but if they want to go then we'll support them in that. It's something I've come across quite a lot - children choosing school on a temporary or permanent basis, but there has been such an explosion of HE in our area in the last few years that I get the sense that it's likely to be happening later and later, becuase the HE community is so active (and therefore the children aren't feeling lack of friends or fun things to do as they hit their teens). VEry likely to go to college at some point

And what about you. Do you ever doubt yourself and feel like you're failing your DCs?

Occasionally, when I compare some of their achievements with those of their schooled peers. And then I remind myself of the amazing things they can do or that they understand or know that are way beyond the NC, and I hand myself a grip.

Do you get any time to yourself, ever? yes, I work full time (flexitime) around HE. We manage it by having a shift system as parents. So what we lack is time all together as a family, but we do carve out time for each adult to be on their own.

How do you find other home educators?
It used to be yahoo groups, but now it's all facebook groups in my area and the yahoo groups are moribund

Are there any national organisations worth joining? Not really, honestly - we are all so networked on a local level. If we get a Labour government again next time, we'll need to be activating ourselves again on a national level, but we haven't needed to in the last 4.5 years because the Conservatives are big HE supporters (it goes with their idea that people should make decisions for themselves and their families - Labour are much more intrusive, which HEers are not cheerful about - we only just managed to delay their last planned lot of legislation (for regulation and monitoring) by energetic lobbying, submitting material to a commons select committee, mobilising conservative MPS and Lords etc, and Labour ran out of time to push it through before parliament was dissolved).

bobbysgirlfirst · 03/03/2015 09:38

What ommm said...except ours went to school and were very unhappy indeed, until we found out that HE was a legal viable option and got them out.
We then home educated autonomously (no adult imposed structure/work/curriculum) with the children simply doing things they really enjoyed and getting an education along the way, right through until each chose to go to college and then onto university level where they did very well indeed.
From experience each of our three got a whole lot more focussed attention than any of them ever did as one in a class of 35!

And as for joining with home educators, yes do come across to Facebook- there is a 'Mumsnet Home Education' fb group for a start- but do send a message to one of the admins on applying.
There should be a FB home ed group for each LA too, if you search FB for "Home Education Worcestershire" you'd find our local group for example.

And yes we will need to fight together once more, if Labour get back in.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 03/03/2015 22:06

Really interesting, thank you both for your comments. I hadn't really thought about political attitudes to HE but it makes sense that Labour would be more anti.

I'm very reassured about what you've said about managing two DCs of different ages and agree totally about the level of individual attention. My older DD is in Reception and I was depressed (and DH angry) when we went to our first Parents' Evening about two months in and it was clear the teacher wasn't sure which one she was. She then said she "flew under the radar" and we needed to work with her to stand out more.

Thank you for the FB tip, I have been searching for a local group. I wish I was in Worcestershire as you both sound great! Are there any Essex home educating mumsnetters out there?

OP posts:
Saracen · 04/03/2015 00:41

Hi Elisaveta, I'm not in Essex but have done a quick search; how about this FB group: www.facebook.com/groups/160003064111014/

My experience has been the same as ommmward and bobbysgirl. My kids are seven years apart in age and it works great. It feels to me like they get loads of attention individually as well as together.

In fact, the only time that has seemed not to be the case was when dd1 was at school!! Because she wasn't physically around for much of the day, we really had to seize the moment if there was anything she wanted to discuss. Often that wasn't easy, because it was late in the day, people were tired, there was dinner to make and so on. When a family is busy and doesn't spend much time together (for example, because the kids are at school), it may be necessary to designate some special "quality time" to ensure each child gets access to their parents' attention, and you just have to hope that that time coincides with the child wanting to talk. But when you are with each other more, there are so many opportunities to talk that it "just happens" without any special effort.

Another point is that my children don't just benefit from their parents' attention, but from being with each other. I only properly grasped that when we spent a lot of time with a family who had four children. I had initially thought, "Poor kids, each one doesn't get much parental attention" but I soon saw how much they were learning from each other and enjoying being with each other. I'm struck by the warmth of the sibling relationships in HE families. Many parents report a change in that relationship when their children come out of school.

I didn't have any specific plans for how long to HE my older child - as long as she wanted, really. She went to school for a few months in Y5 to check it out, and then decided to carry on with home ed. I am really hoping my younger one never wants to go to school as I am so sure it would be wrong for her. But given her personality, I very much doubt she will want to go, so I am not too worried!

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2015 06:49

Thank you Saracen I have applied to join that group. You have definitely all made me feel better about educating my two. I noticed during the half term break of DD's first term - I had the whole week off with her - that her reading really started to take off, and I had both DCs then.

OP posts:
Liara · 04/03/2015 20:52

I wonder how easy it is to educate two children with a 3 year age gap - is it hard to find the time to focus on each individually? Does either miss out?

We have that age gap. Ds2 is only 4, but he already has clear ideas about what he wants to do and very much follows in his brother's footsteps. We also get ds1 to do quite a lot with him - helping him with his reading, with his basic maths, etc.

And about structure. Do you have a set idea of what you will cover over a week, say?

Dh does the vast majority of the structured teaching, but he does not have any set plans for what they need to achieve. He says the advantage with HEd is that you can take your time, so he starts things and then goes at whatever rhythm works for the dc. If this means that something that he thought would take a month takes 6 or vice versa, so be it.

I am more unstructured in the stuff I do with them, so it really is led by them, with suggestions from me (which they readily accept)

Do you plan it like teachers do lesson plans?
No

Do you try to follow the National Curriculum?
No

Do you plan to HE for primary and get a place in a good secondary, or HE all the way through?
Not set plans, we will see what they want and what is available to us when they reach secondary.

And what about you. Do you ever doubt yourself and feel like you're failing your DCs?
No, I don't think dh does and I certainly don't, I think they are thriving. They really, really enjoy learning and that it what it was always about for us.

Do you get any time to yourself, ever?
Er...no, basically not. But we do both work (at home) and do loads of things apart from hed, and have no family nearby, so that's not that unusual.

I'm not in the UK so can't help on the organisations, but there are usually quite a few home ed groups around the place.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2015 21:12

Thank you Liara, all these answers are really useful for me in thinking through how this would work. I've read practically every thread in this section for the past year and I think I have a better idea of HE now. It's definitely making me much more confident and excited about it.

OP posts:
Liara · 05/03/2015 19:59

Best of luck. I must admit I wasn't too sure about hed to begin with (it was dh who was keen), but seeing the dc thrive has completely won me over.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 06/03/2015 14:51

Thank you Liara. My DH is quite keen, I had a moment of panic when he told a friend our plans and it seemed very real! But then I went to Parents Evening and heard how little the teacher really knows my DD, and how she thinks DD should change in order to "stand out more in the crowd" and felt we're making the right decision.

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 06/03/2015 15:11

Hello.

I can't answer all your questions as we only have the one child who is H.ed

In terms of structure we are a little bit of structure and autonomous depending on the subject.
For instance Maths and english has always been compulsory in some form or other, but not necessarily sitting down with formal work.
Other subjects she has chosen to do herself and sometimes she just likes to do the odd topic for a project.

We don't particularly follow the nc but have found its hard to get away from it anyway. Most things your child will choose to do will be indirectly or directly linked somewhere.

Our dd did attend school for 4 years before H.ed and I have teaching quals. Like an idiot I spent much of the summer holidays before we started h.ed, making plans and gathering resources.
The resources came in handy but the time table and plans i produced were just not needed or used.
Now I just keep a loose record of what we have done and dd writes up her day in a journal. She doesn't enjoy writing much and will do this.

I have doubted myself a few times, I think this is normal tbh as you want the best for your child and don't want to fail them. My worries have never been anything more than that though. You do become more confident as you progress, I think.

I do get time to myself as dh also helps to H.ed dd and works mainly from home.
We are not involved with any groups as there aren't many H.ed dc round here. However, dd has met some during her activities.

I do think you'll find that most if not all will tell you their dc are thriving, it can be the best education your child will receive.
As for how long, well everyone is different and also situations can change.
We thought it would be until dd was 14 as she had her eye on a particular school. Now she will starting school again in September, but if it doesn't work out we can always leave again Grin

I hope this gives you another example, good luck Grin

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 06/03/2015 19:03

Thank you MoreThan!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page