Question for parents with school age and preschool age children

[Luckymetwins]

Hi I have two pre-school aged children and although we are trying for more we haven't had any luck yet. Anyway my question is at the moment I take my boys to lots of things like toodlers, gym class, music group but they are all for children under school age. I was just wondering what any parents do if they have children who they home ED and then have younger ones too, do you have to just keep them for going to toddlers etc or most people have family to help out? Just wondering as we would love another child but the way things are going our boys will be school age before we have another one and then if we home schooling then the new baby will have to miss out on toodlers etc as I can't take the boys. Just wondering how other have got around this.

Thanks x

Not really in the group that your message was targeted at as I only have one 2 year old atm, but thought Id add my thoughts on this.

IMO toddler groups, classes etc are not essential for pre-school aged children, they are more for mums to meet other mums & get out of the house! Everything that is done in them can be replicated simply by being at home or visiting friends, relatives etc. Obviously if you still want to go then that doesnt really help you...so I would speak to whoever runs the groups you go to & ask if they would allow older children to attend. I cant see it being too much of a problem as their insurance would obviously cover adults as well as pre-schoolers & babies so cant see why the restriction would be so binding. Maybe if you pitched it as your older children could help with various aspects of the session (looking after the craft table, helping clear up etc) they might be more amenable. Failing that maybe look for a HE group that welcomes pre-school children or set your own one up if there are sufficient HE families in your area.

ok

I have ds 3.1 and dd 15 months so have some idea, but my gap (22 months) is quite a bit smaller than the one I think you're proposing?

I admit I don't feel comfortable taking either child to classes in which only one can participate. Unstructured p/t is fine, cos kids tend to participate at their own level, but anything like gymtots...no way.

A good % of our socialising nowadays is through the local (ish) HE groups. There are a lot of under 7s. And a couple of playgroups we've ben going to for ages. Its very relaxed, I don't do hectic rushing around any more

certainly would not avoid having another baby for this reason! yes, they might miss out. dd misses out on loads. but she also gains hugely from going to stuff aimed at ds, where there are usually lots of other babies anyway.

Luckymetwins, I think both things could be true. I have only just started HE and already had a music class booked for DS who is nearly three. I now take him, dd who has just turned five, and my 13 month old. They all really enjoy it and it is fantastic. The teacher is very welcoming and relaxed and my three all gain something from it.

Having said that I am planning to get involved with a local HE group because i have heard that they are very welcoming to families as a whole and I think that that will be the answer.

HTH.

personally i didn't attend the usual mother baby groups and mine haven't suffered on the sociability side. they are V sociable. i think you will also find the new baby will have his/her interaction at home with older siblings and there will be lots going on to stimulate him/her. so i wouldn't worry.

HE is all about having the flexibility to adapt to the needs of your children. Kids don't need lots of peers to be develop social skills. Social skills come from confidence which come from you.

As been said HE groups will run things. You might find "normal" M&B groups might look at you strangely if you taken a child "who should be at school" along (i already get it for not have ds1 in at nursery and most people who don't HE won't understand why you are even if they are not openly critical because most see it as the schools responsibility to educate rather than as it is in law: the parents) whereas groups run by HE groups normally aim at several age ranges and most there will see education being taken from everything rather than just in the class room. and as been said if there isn't a group set up a group of nearby HE'rs so you maintain adult social interaction and the kids can have fun too.

If you decide to HE make sure you gen up on the legal side as most LEAs mis-inform you of their role.

would also recommend John Holt as a good read (How children Fail and How Children Learn)as well as A Free Range Education, author escapes me...

i have found that as someone who is going against the grain i am very self critical and constantly questionning what we are doing, can we do better, should we do difefrent - so try to believe in yourself and just go with the flow,

terri dowtry or similar is free range education, a collection of esseays by heing parents.

it gives a range of experiences. There are a few totally cringeworthy evangelical essays in there (mrswhy and educating archie step forward please), but I had just re-read it and am suprised at how little I want to burn it.

blogs are good also. muddlepuddle is the mama of HRing under 8 s blogs, imo

oh, have remembered that we used to go to a little music class that both kids loved. it was fine, and the woman was lovely and had no problems with older kids (eg due to school not being on, Steiner educated so no afternoons, etc) in her class.

Hi everyone and thanks for your replies, I think because our life at present is very much base around toddler groups and such like it's hard to see passed that and what our life will be like if we go down the HE route.
I find that my boys love toddlers they look forward to it and get so much out of it, the space to run and meeting new friends etc but I also get a lot of enjoyment I meet loads of people and through these groups I now have a large group of friends.
It's been a great start for the boys and I would like that for any future children.
As yet we don't know of other HE families and I hope as the boys get a bit older we can get into meetings and groups.
Music and gym don't bother me as I can do those things on weekends or at home myself but I would miss the group things as it's such a easy way to meet people and I guess it's an easy option as the toys are for young children, the area is safe for them, the activites, story readings etc all all based on their age groups (toddlers) and I just have to tun up and I can sit and relax for an hr.
Being a sthm I find I do need the social aspect of these groups. Just hope I can find groups in my area to fill the void.

Terrmum, I don't think the groups I go to would understand me HE, some would be fine but a few people I have told in passing looked at me like I'd told the I was fying to the moon I wouldn't take my boys to groups as I don't feel I should have to explain our choice to HE and I certainly don't think I should have to defend it.
I have found people very jugmental, it's interesting really as not one person has mentioned anything about it being wrong etc because of the schooling part and what i can teach them but they all have an issue with the social side, and how I am taking somthing away from them bla bla... the fact no one says it's the wrong choice because of anything to do with the teaching side just confirms to me it's the right thing.

Thanks again, I know I probably sound like I have no clue what I'm doing (which I don't) but I hope by the time my boys are ready I will be too