Thinking of pulling out my 13yr old dd & HE due to her anxiety over school

[badgerhead]

I have a 13yr old dd who has been progressively more unhappy since moving to secondary school. She is fine with the school work & indeed academically is doing well, but we are forever now having to fight to get her to go into school. She is on the small size height wise, just 4' 10" & although virtually the oldest in her form is the smallest. Although the other girls have improved over their teasing (bullying) of her she has now got to the stage that she just cannot easily go into school. Although we have involved school & got one of their counsellors to work with her, unfortunately she does not get on with & accuses her of bribing her with choclate biscuits to get her to talk!
It has now got to the stage that the Educational Welfare Officer is going to be involved & although I try to see this as a positive step I don't think she does & I can see us either having to change schools or HEing. Although I am at home all day I am a full time working childminder & would find it difficult to give quality time to her & my charges during the day.
Any suggestions please.

hmmm

I know there are lots of childminder who HE, but I think a lot of them have done so from the start, IYSWIM, so their kids are perhaps more self-sufficient? Dunno

Will keep bumping if I remember though

Oh and have you checked out Education Otherwise?

Hi there!
Ive just posted a reply to a similar situation on the thread below, do read it.
Ive taken my 13 year old DD out a year ago and havnt looked back.

Badgerhead...I think ER is referring to my post, as I am in a similar situation to yours with my DD aged 11. Today (unbeknown to them or the school) is their last day at school, and as from tomorrow we will be HE! I have had enough of the school's handling (or not) of the situation, and it's time I took their happiness and welfare into my own hands. Does your DD want to do HE? I am really really excited about it now; can't wait. And yes...there are many childminders who HE.

badgerhead
My 13 yr old dd is at a mixed secondary, and I find her constant fallings in and out of friendship very wearing. Sometimes she seems really unhappy, and the next day, everything's fine.
I do think that this is a difficult age, but they do have to learn to cope with different characters, so perhaps they're also learning life skills.
You know your dd, and will judge what's best for her.
I think you just need to be sure that she is still able to socialise with others of her own age, so that she develops more confidence.

badgerhead - your daughter would learn far more life skills being home educated, than she currently does at school IMO.

Home educated children are not sheltered from society - it is exactly the opposite, as they live in society on a day to day basis.

There seems to be a widespread misconception that home educated children are educated only at home, and are somehow not exposed to social situations.

Home education is a far better social preparation for adult life than school IMO - unless you plan to spend your entire adult life in one building with a group of people who are almost exactly the same age as you!

In our experience, our children have met a far greater mix of people (children and adults) than they did when they were at school.

They went to a small village primary school, where all the children were white, came from relatively affluent homes, and a Landrover Discovery was viewed as the ultimate accessory!

Since they came out of school they have met so many different people, and been taught about so many different ways of life - practical learning that would simply not have been available to them in school.

Of course home educated children have to mix with people who they don't get on with, or who they would prefer not to be with, but they learn how to deal with it.

They do not, however, have to contend with bullying, which can only be a positive thing!

And socialising does not only take place between 9am and 3:30pm!

Our children go to lots of activities in the evenings and at the weekend.

I think the fact that you are a CM is a great thing to combine with home educating.

Your daughter is old enough to do most of her learning independently of you - you will most probably just have to facilitate how she does this, and provide advice and support for her when she needs it.

Bullying is very debilitating, so if you decide to HE, give her plenty of time and space to find her feet again.

Good luck and best wishes.

humph is completely correct

can i just add though that there are lots of meet ups of HE kids?

Round here there is something 3 days out of 5 within an hour's drive.

Of course there are, at times, issues with behaviour within those groups-of course, such is life! But behaviour does not tend to go unchecked and if it does-well you are there with them and can pull them out!

There tend to be lots of kids at meet ups and they are never AFAIK age segregated so (I'm sure) you could bring your charges with you.