Home educating a child who is obsessed with the idea of school?

[HEornotHE]

Hi

Thought this would be the best place to ask! I always fancied home educating when my dd was ready for primary school (only 2.5 atm!) but she's suddenly become obsessed with the idea of school. She loves anything on tv about schools and often role plays school stuff with her dolls.

Is this a pretty clear sign that maybe home educating would be more about me than her if I went ahead?

Thanks :)

Your dd is learning that school is the natural default for the majority of children.
It isn't just tv, take a look at the supermarket advertising in store.
They even have it covered for little ones who can't read the word school yet.
Does your dd attend nursery? They are becoming far more school centred these days and as it used to be just about play until they went to school at 5 years old, now it is a school environment from being about 2 with the emphasis on learning, the play comes after.
I don't think you should worry yet as she is still very young and dc don't really know what something is like until they have experienced it for themselves.
As for choosing H.education for you, there must be something in your philosophy that you believe would benefit your child more than attending school. Nearer the time revisit your reasons and see if they are still applicable and if you feel as strongly as you did before then you have your answer.

My eldest went through this phase too, I think it's completely normal and has no bearing on whether or not HE will be best for your child (DD1 loves HE and is horrified by the idea of school now ). morethan is right, it is everywhere. DD2 has at least 3 people a week telling her she is starting school next year. I think at such a young age that they're not going to have a clear idea of what they want or what's best for them. DD2 says she is going to school because Topsy and Tim do finally, but she absolutely loves the homeschool groups we go to and all her HE friends.

Are you going to any home ed groups? We have a DC of similar age and lots of them welcome littlies (we have a clash already on one day...) We started going mainly for socialisation, partly to see if we could stand it (we are not very social!) and partly as a balance to the constant 'school is great' culture. And it's been great. DC seems to fit much better into these groups than the more conventional, structured groups we tried, and the other parents are delightfully introverted too We feel quite comfortable. If he is desperate to go to school at 5 though, I will feel sad, but probably let him

I could have written this post! DD is autumn born and has just turned 4. She insists she'd like to go to "big school" (she does go to nursery now) but on the other hand we have already started integrating ourselves into the HE community, in fact most of her friends are or will be HE'd. I am hoping she understands by next autumn that school (especially year 1 and on) is not like her small, nurturing nursery.

Little children who are obsessed with school may be expressing a real and abiding desire to go to school, and this may indicate that home education would be a selfish choice for their parents to make.

But I wouldn't bet on it. Kids fantasise about living different lives for all sorts of reasons. That doesn't mean they grasp the reality or that it is what they actually want to do.

When I was three, I wanted more than anything to be a Sioux brave. Was that a pretty clear sign that bringing me up as a little girl in 20th century style would be more about my mother meeting her own needs than mine?

When my daughter was four, she wanted to be a baby.

When my friend's daughter was five, she wanted to be a dog.

When my daughter's friend was six, she wanted to be a mistreated Victorian orphan. Her mother unaccountably declined to feed her stale bread and watery gruel, dress her in dirty rags when she went out, allow her to sell matches on the street corner, or speak cruelly to her in public.

Now, to my mind the only difference between these fantasies and your dd's school fantasies is that school is the norm. For that reason, you will get accused by some people of selfishness if you don't let your daughter try school. That doesn't make school a place she necessarily needs or wants to go.

I wouldn't have prevented my older daughter from trying school at four if she had really wanted to go, but I did make a point of taking her to home ed activities so she could see a positive alternative to school. Fortunately the school interest ran its course when something more appealing came along.

I would have loved to be home educated instead of going to school. At the time though, I thought everything would be OK if I only went to boarding school (Malory Towers, specifically). [grin So you are absolutely right, Saracen. But it is better to learn from your own mistakes. My parents gave me some excellent careers advice when I was young. They were bang on and I would have been much better off if I'd listened. I resolutely ignored them and they supported my ignorance fully . I ended up with a job that I hate lol. But if they'd twisted my arm I'd just be sitting here thinking how much better it would have been if I'd followed my heart.

Yes, I agree that people need to learn from their own mistakes and try things for themselves. In fact, I have hardly ever met an HE parent who refused to allow an older child to try school if that's what the child wanted.

But it does depend how robust the individual child is. There are some decisions which parents don't feel a child can make for herself (or not yet) because the consequences are potentially too harmful to that child.

For example, I felt it was appropriate to let my older child decide whether to go to school when she was four. She might have liked school, she might not have liked school, but it wouldn't be a complete disaster. She did end up trying school at the age of nine and that was a useful experience for her. But her sister wasn't given the option of trying school, because it seemed to me that school attendance posed a significant risk to her well-being.

Where you draw the line is a matter of judgement.