Are you absolutely sure about all this "getting her to do things by stealth"?
I don't believe in stealth. I do believe in finding ways of negotiating with the people we live with so that everyone can leave the house without one of them throwing a tantrum, and that sometimes involves finding a way to make a particular activity palatable to one child when everyone else is already up for it - it's no fun for anyone if one person is melting down.
I reckon some things should be non negotiable. A reasonable level of hygiene.
What's 'reasonable' though? When I was a child, we used to bathe once or twice a week, and do the odd flannel wash in between. Similarly, we'd wear shirts and t shirts until they got smelly rather than washing every single time. I remember being astonished at American cousins who insisted on washing every item of clothing after it had been worn once. I think the norm has moved towards more washing, of both bodies and clothes, but it isn't a moral imperative, just a cultural shift in expectations. As long as someone isn't smelly or (too) grubby then meh.
Of course there are conversations to be had with our children about levels of personal hygiene, but that doesn't mean forcing someone into a bath they don't want to take.
A fair amount of what other people (including the grown ups) want to do.
Totally agree - absolutely essential (and easier for that to become a natural part of family life when there is more than one child in the mix, IME). I think I wrote something totally along those lines upthread, about the inadvisability of parental self sacrifice.
A reasonable number of the jobs around the house that make it pleasant for us all to live in.
I was brought up in the other school of thought on this one. My mother always said that she'd prefer the children's contributions to the domestic economy to be whole hearted acts of love / service/ giving. And it worked for us - by our teens we were routinely doing ironing because we wanted to help, and making jam and cooking meals and baking, feeding the poultry, mowing, doing the washing up, and hoovering. etc etc. There was no list of chores for each child; but my mother was always happy to suggest something we could do that would be useful. And we've grown up without hangups about domestic chores, and all able to live in a reasonable hygienic environment and tidy enough that we wouldn't get onto a TV show about hoarders or anything.
And I see exactly the same with my own children - there's a stage when they are very small where they want to "help" with everything, and then there is a stage where they really aren't interested (with various baking related exceptions, of course), and then they grow into a stage where they actively want to do domestic things and are competent to do so. It's really wonderful to watch it develop!