The end of Home Ed...

[DocMcStuffinsBigBookOfOuches]

I have spent the last year happily home edding my five year old. Only trouble is, sheisn't happy - she is so desperate to go to school that I have agreed that she can go. She has been resistant to sit down formal sessions with me, but has been happy to learn in a more organic way, which I have pointed out she will not get in school at all, but she was becoming very withdrawn and sad at the idea of continuing to learn at home.

School term starts in less than a fortnight (Scotland) and she is so cheerful and bubbly announcing to everyone that she is off to school.

All my reasons for wanting to home ed remain, but I have to put her happiness first, don't i?

I think you have to let her try, she may love it, she may hate it, but she needs to try.

I, think, all three of my HE friends DCs tried school when they were small and all three then settled for HE until secondary age.

My DN hated being the only Y3 in her tiny two class school. She insisted on trying her 100+ village school. She quickly realised she missed her "family".

I took my DD out of school in march as she was being bullied and I've been HE ever since. She is 9 and starts a new school in September we've enjoyed it but I think she's quite lonely for other children now.

Yes you do.
Home ed will always be there if you need it.

If she's not happy at home, it will impede her learning. Would the school not contemplate flex learning so you can continue to home-ed?

HE will only ever work if both parent(s) and child(ren)

Yes, I think you have to let her try. You can always come back to home ed if things don't work out.

Best of luck!

Thanks for your comments guys. I know I have to let her do this. I'm just sad it isn't going to continue. I have (much!) older kids who went through the school system, and it's the knowledge of education from that side that made me keener not to put the five year old through it. I always said I would review things if it wasn't working for either of us, but I had hoped it would have lasted beyond a single year!

Unfortunately the school won't accommodate flexi-learning as it was something I had enquired about as I thought earlier in the year it might have been a good way of accessing some other parts of education without having to take the whole lot.

If she's really eager to go to school and you haven't been able to discover a reason for that which is easily "fixable" while continuing with HE, then I do think it's probably best to let her try school.

All the HE parents I know are in agreement that older children should be allowed to decide for themselves whether to go to school. Opinion is divided whether that responsibility should also belong to young children, with some parents saying that small children are not mature enough to understand the consequences of their decision.

Where it comes to younger children or very vulnerable big kids I'm on the fence; I think it depends on the individual child as well as on the reasons why the parent feels school is less than ideal for her. I let my first child decide from day one, when she was four. In the case of my second child I really felt school would probably harm her, and I didn't even mention to her the possibility that she might go. For several years I did live in fear that it might cross her mind that she could go, and that she might want to go. Luckily that didn't happen, and now it wouldn't be such a huge problem if she does go.

Wait and see how your daughter gets on at school, and leave the door open if she wants to return to HE. Given a choice, many children wouldn't continue at school, and she may well want to come out again. The majority of HE children of my acquaintance who have tried school have not stayed there, though a few have. My older daughter liked the first two days and then remained clear that school was not for her.

I'm HEing my 7 year old from Sept. It was his idea. My 5 year old is going into year 1 and has been given the choice. She has chosen school.

I don't think it is a big deal to be honest. I think the 'big deal' is a cultural and societal one and imposed from outside.

Though my 2 year old will be HE with no choice for now I must add.