I've been considering HE since before my DC were born, having trained in nurseries & a primary school & been completely put off. I was already quite anti-schools based on my own experience but doubted it further when I saw it from an adult's perspective. The older my DS1 gets, the more I think it might be the right decision for him - he doesn't often engage with other children, will just stand & stare while things are going on & seems to live in his own little bubble. I suspect Aspergers for many reasons, not least because I've recently come to recognise it in myself.
He's 3 in October so we need to make a decision about pre-school ASAP. Part of me really doesn't want to send him because I've seen how some children respond to it, I've seen the quiet ones be over-looked & left to it while the adults deal with the more challenging behaviour & I've seen what the parents are told at the end of the day. I saw the same things happening in 4 different settings, most of which are held up as examples of 'good practice' in our area, so I know it's not just one bad experience. On the other hand, if I suspect Aspergers then maybe it's a good idea for him to go just one or 2 sessions a week so they can get to know him & assess him from a more objective POV. It would mean we wouldn't have to go through the GP or HV who both know my concerns & have been spectacularly unhelpful so far & insist that there's "not much they can do at this age anyway". 
I don't know what to do. Send him & see how it goes? Don't send him on principle? I'm scared that if I do send him then certain people my parents will think I can be persuaded to send him to school as well & I'll end up wandering in to that because it'll be the easy option. I'm just as scared that I'm only planning to HE because of my issues & I'm projecting on to him & I'm going to end up ruining his life because my teenage years were miserable! 
At the moment all our friends & family are being fairly supportive but I get the feeling it might be just a smile-and-nod approach in the hope that we'll either change our minds or they'll tackle it when it comes to applying for schools. The local schools are ridiculously over-subscribed & the only one we'd be likely to get in to has a bad reputation & a friend moved their daughter within weeks of starting there because she was so miserable!
Umm... Any advice?!