De-registering DD tomorrow [gulp] a little hand-holding needed please

[CaisleanDraiochta]

It feels so scary, like we are about to jump off a cliff!!!!

Tell me everything is going to be ok please. I'm expecting all hell to break loose.

I'm going to try to keep everything as normal as possible for DD, just carrying on as we have been for the last 2 weeks. For her this will be no big deal, but for me it is a huge step.

Then we will also have the problem of DS, who will still be going to school for the time being. Not sure he's going to be terribly pleased when he realises his sister is not going to school. I want him to make his decisions for himself though and not just because he wants to be the same as DD.

Later in the week I'll have to start telling other people too. This also fills me with mild dread as none of my family/friends are very supportive of home ed

I remember that feeling so well, op. Don't worry: everything is going to be ok! It's just very scary to be going against the conventional belief that all children have to go to school.

When I took DS1 out of school, his little brother still went to school, so it is possible to combine the two. I explained it to DS2 by saying that his big brother was still having to do his work, but he just did it at home. This was fine whilst DS2 was happy at school (things changed later and I have just deregistered him too).

Telling unsupportive family/friends is something you have to steel yourself for, I think. Most of mine came round to it in the end. There is one in particular that I haven't yet told about deregistering DS2 as I can't be bothered with the inevitable fallout.

Once you have handed in the letter and left school, you can heave a sigh of relief and start enjoying home ed. It is so liberating to be free of school stuff, especially if it has been a particularly stressful experience.

It will be great. Your daughter will be very happy!!

Have you practiced exactly what you are going to say to your son?

Re telling other people: remind yourself why you've taken your dd out of school and summon up a brief cheerful confident air if you can. They'll give you a harder time if they think you are unsure. If anybody is being persistently annoying or asks questions you don't want to answer, you could just say, "School just isn't working for her at the moment."

Some people may come round quicker than you expect once they see that you mean business and there is no chance of persuading you to change your mind.

Sounds just like us 2 years ago! We deregistered DD straight after Easter, which left DS at school. He then joined us in home-ed 2 months later :)
It's been the most amazing 2 years for us all. They have learnt and developed in so many different areas. They're beautiful children and we love spending so much time together. They took time to make good friends within the home ed community, but we've gradually managed that.
I hope it goes as well for you as it has for us!
All the best.

It's not so much that other people think I should be keeping DD at this school, as they have seen for themselves that it clearly isn't working for her. Mainly everyone seems to suggest I send her to a different school, but that is my backup position really, if home-ed really doesn't work for us (I hope it does) but yes, most people are of the mindset that she should be in some kind of school.

I do feel a little bit bad for DS really, still having to go to school. He's getting on ok academically though and even though he isn't 100% happy there, he isn't unhappy either if that makes sense. There isn't the urgency to get him away from the harm that is being caused, as there is in DD's case.

Also like I said before I want him to choose home-ed for his own reasons, not just because that is what his sister is doing. I do have a feeling that by the end of this academic year he will be out of the school system too :) in the mean time I think it will be useful for DD and I to get used to it all and get some kind of routine up and running that will meet her needs, before I then add in DS's when he joins us.

it all sounds like a massive amount of work all of a sudden though and I am back to worrying that I will fail DD even more and she won't learn a thing from me. Also the threats I've had about social services and weekly compulsory visits and having to show evidence are playing on my mind too.

Quick update: this morning didn't exactly go to plan. DS point blank refused to get ready for school this morning. So to cut a long story short, I am now home educating them both!

hello

jumping off a cliff I remember it well, its all a bit daunting at first.
Please don't worry about visits from ss, this won't happen and whoever told you this really hasn't got a clue.
Have you deregistered yet? They don't have to go to school again, but you must do this asap.
You will be contacted by your LA but just tell them you are fine atm and would like time to find your feet and deschool. They should leave you for a while then or they might request some info.
There are threads here advising you what to say and dereg letters.
Good luck.

Don't worry what others say against H.ed and stick to your conviction. I was surprised with the people who offered support, like ils I thought they would be so against it.

Oh dear, op, I was thinking as I read your penultimate post "yeah, he won't be long after his sister". Laughing with joy and recognition here.

Now, no heroics, no grand educational gestures. Aim at a month of de schooling for each year each child has been in school, add a bit extra for any traumas they've had, and just enjoy playing, being together, and answering their questions. Work as hard as you. Can at saying"yes" to their ideas, and see how you go!

Oops, LOL.

Have a lovely time!

Yes I took the deregistration letter (hastily edited to include DS) into to school in person this morning. So it official now I guess

Then we started our first proper 'homeschool' day (both DC insist on using this name, despite my attempt at suggesting alternatives) which lasted 7 hours!!!! We started off by visiting the pay as it was such a lovely day, for an hour or so then moved on to digging holes in the fields and being 'archeologists' After that we went on an 'adventure trail' which took us down to the river. We ended up walking all the way down the river to the port where we spent another hour or so watching the seagulls chasing the fishing boats and fighting over the throwbacks. we finished the day at the after school club where they met up with some of their friends and had a massive water fight. I'm exhausted now, but also had good fun and I know the DC definitely have too.

Only bad part of the day has been a text I received from DD's keyworker. I think I might need to start a new thread about it to ask for advice in how to respond to her. Briefly she has informed me that I can't take DD out of school because she is statemented amongst other things. I know what she has said is incorrect, but I have a feeling they are going to try to make this as hard for me as possible.

Congratulations ,I'm sure your dd will be much happier .

I would write to her very simply and say "thank you for your text. According to the 2007 Elective Home Education guidelines, if Dd was in a special school I would indeed have to get permission (paragraph 3.22) but, because she is not, I am legally allowed to deregister her like any other child (section 3.17). In accordance with those guidelines, I'll look forward to liaising directly with the LA about what - if any - assistance will be needed from them in meeting the provisions on her statement. Many thanks for everything you've done for her and for us in the past - much appreciated. All the best,"

Or even miss out the sentence about liaising with the LA, actually - because most of the provisions on that statement will be specific to the school environment and totally irrelevant now.

Good for you, I'm a teacher but I'd love to home school my dd if I could. Well done and keep going

What a good start for you and your children!

ommm is right. Your dd was never in a specialist school... The cynical me would ask ''What help was available in a HE situation?'' None, of course!