Not got a concrete "reason" to try HE

[daisychain76]

Hello everyone, I am seriously considering HE (have met HE families locally, on local web groups). I have found quite a few families have gone down the HE route because their children were very unhappy at school or there was no suitable place at school for them. My dcs are actually quite happy at school, ups and downs but nothing major. I just feel HE would give us a lot more quality time together, plenty of opportunities for field trips and so on, which we just don't get in the school routine. I know it will be very hard work, but just feel it could be incredible fun and very rewarding too. I am just wondering if anyone else has done if for this reason as friends I have spoken to clearly think I am being a bit daft rocking the boat (and perhaps a bit selfish?!). Thanks!

"but given that barely anybody asks their children if they want to go to school why is it such a crime the other way round?"

It's not a crime. And I am on record as saying that many people should think much more about the whole process of educating their children.

But the fat remains that if you are thinking of doing something in a way which is different from the way most people do it, it's a good idea to think even harder. And you are making a decision which impacts hugely on somebody else's life. So they should be involved in that decision as fully as they possibly can be.

Yes, I think we are lucky. But we live in a fairly deprived area - I know what poor is. And lots of people who are have a parent at home (childcare in the school holidays can be costly otherwise, if you don't have family close). Your second post hits the nail on the head I think. It's hard if both parents are ambitious, to give it all up for your children. But I don't think anyone here is criticising the choices you have made for your family, whatever they are (although I guess not home ed!). Shall we be friends?

I just find it hard to separate my desire to do what's best for me, which is home ed in my case, with what's really best for the kids. I guess we all do.

I haven't an argument except that I think the child is central and their opinion comes first. I missed the fact that OP has asked.
I did actually ask mine because a close friend does it - and they shuddered with horror!

Hehe. Mine are too young to ask at present. But I'm already steeling myself for the same reaction!

It does depend on the age. I think if they are pre-schoolers then it's really hard because they get bombarded with questions from random strangers asking them if they're looking forward to school. They end up seeing it as an inevitability rather than one possible option.

Niggle

We too have one parent working and low income. I have been a sahm for 20+ years. I know what you mean about living within the bounds of one income.
I guess at least we can take the benefit of a cheaper holiday in term time, if we save enough
I did mean to save all the costs associated with school, but haven't. I'm sure uniform, school dinners, trips, charity days, special days/celebrations, would have added up by now.
Dh has a small business and is at home a lot, he shares the day to day stuff with me, so she gets different input.
I know, she is very lucky, people tell us this all the time.

We don't spend very much either. DD1 goes to ballet and Rainbows, but most school children would do that sort of thing anyway. We go to the local library for books and print a lot of free worksheets and whatnot off the internet. You can get a lot of good deals on things if you know where to look; a National Trust home educator membership is only about £30 and you can get into English Heritage places for free if you fill in a form a couple of weeks in advance.

I think your children are happy now at school, because that is all they know how to be , as being happy but later they will be stressed and much more happier and less stress being taught at home, doing things that they like and enjoy,if they are clever and bright intelligent kids, IMO, then this will shrine through and be even better at learning at their own pace, with family values, at stake

I'm in a quandry now about choosing HE. ds1 is HE, needed it and thrives with it. ds2 wants to do secondary school to access all their science equipment.

But ds2 is gifted in maths and the junior school has actually suggested I should HE him because they don't feel he will be challenged in secondary school and will begin acting up. On the other hand I don't think I would have time to work as a childminder and help ds1 do his GCSEs and also take on ds2(unless we went fully automonous). ds1 and ds2 also fight quite a bit when they have constant contact with each other.
So now I'm being selfish but not wanting to reduce work to fit in ds2 as well. I'm avoiding conflict by not HEing ds2 because dh will probably be very negative about it and I don't want to get in a fight over it. I'm following society norms and choosing school. I'm resisting telling ds2 that all that exciting science equipment will be locked away and he will have very limited usage of it anyway. I'm worrying that ds2 will lose his love of maths......maybe. Anyway, he is going to secondary school to see whether it works for him.
In all big decisions there has to be some selfishness because our needs(wants) do come into the equation too.

People home ed for a myriad of reasons. Home ed is as diverse as the families doing it :) Mike from Home Education UK did a straw poll recently which you may find useful? :)

www.home-education.org.uk/articles/article-reasons-to-home-educate-straw-poll.pdf