Advantages and disadvantages of Home edding Asperger's HFA 11 year old

[Swanhilda]

Ds2 likes school. But he is not doing very well academically, despite being to my mind quite clever. He cannot write at all well, spells atrociously, hates homework and balks at all the long writing tasks. His presentation is rubbish too. All the sorts of things schools pick you up on and care about. I want him to care about them for their own sake not because it is a school priority. I want him to follow his interests and learn in ways that suit him better. More interactive, more trips, more talking, more chance to engage.

All the stuff he is good at - well he is praised for that in school, but ultimately he is not going to hit any school target atm or do well in academic exams. Yet he should be able to do better than he is doing, considering how bright and enthusiastic he is, and interested in so much.

If I homeedded him, might it give him a head start? After all he has had 7 years at primary, happy enough, but they haven't helped him progress academically. He does a variety of out of school clubs already, which we could increase if he was home edded.

I just fear he is going to end up bored and frustrated in school, and one of many with no individualised support. All his OT issues, and dyslexia issues are going to be met in small ways, but never full on. The SEN dept doesn't have time, and we don't have time, after a full school day.

I have time to home ed him. DH thinks it is a terrible idea. I have an older child who is not doing so well either, but loves school. A daughter of same age who also loves school.

Torn really.

You need the HE special email list here There are lots of people there in very similar situations who can offer advice and experiences.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of school-based education for children on the autistic spectrum unless they've got serious amounts of assistance. Otherwise, there is just so much energy expended on coping with sensory issues and navigating the alien social envronment (probably at an age when their peers aren't great at embracing and celebrating difference) that it isn't easy to get much learning done, and it is counter productive socially (it's a great way to persuade someone that their personality is a problem. It won't be, once they can get out of the school situation and begin to find people with whom they genuinely click).

Agree with Ommm
There's a book that might be helpful for you and dh to read
"Home Educating our Autistic Spectrum Children : Paths are Made by Walking" edited by Terri Dowty and Kit Cowlishaw.
17 HE families each wrote a chapter on how HE works for them, plus a chapter by a special needs teacher and one by a HE lawyer.

also www.edyourself.org has legally accurate up to date info on HE and SEN.
and on FB you can find a bunch of us on the "Home Educating our special needs children" group. You'd be welcome go join us there.

Thanks very much, I will buy that book.

DH still thinks it a terrible idea! He has said we must wait until he has finished Year 7 before we make the decision. I think I will use that time and mental space to make the best decision.

Ironically, ds2 is perfectly happy going to school every day, and enjoys meeting all the adults there He is a creature of routine, but it is more that I cannot see how he is going to progress in this environment. It is what he has always known but that is not necessarily what suits him academically. I am very aware of his social needs, but again I think school is a sticking plaster for this, and also a sort of aggravation for some of his worse traits, which are impatience and attention seeking He behaves well in school, it is more the fallout when he gets home which I don't like.

My lad is on the spectrum and I can give you my feedback after a term's home ed.

DS is 9 and is learning via a combination of part time online schooling and home ed. Online schools give you access to specialist language/science teachers which I feel can be a traditional worry for home edders at secondary.

You take on total responsibility for exam entry which can be a headache if they need extra time/laptop use etc for exams. But you have time to research this and get it sorted before that time arrives. so far that's the only disadvantage I've been able to come up with. The other is that you may have have to pay for SALT/OT yourself depending on your postcode.

Without all the sensory interruptions of school DS has the TIME to do his OT properly which is really helping his handwriting and dyslexia issues. He's come on nearly 2 years in 3 months in maths and although his improvement in reading/writing isn't as dramatic it's much better than I expected it would be after just one term. DS needs peace and quite to concentrate on his academics & that's what he gets at home with no distractions.

Socially I've been REALLY surprised at how many home ed groups are now set up all over the country (we moved out of London to reduce the mortgage as part of the transition). I've also been shocked at how many of those kids are either on the spectrum or siblings. This was an expected bonus as my son is making friends in a brand new area with kids that "get" him. In a semi-rural area I never expected to have much choice of day time groups to go to, yet there is.

Some schools will still let you attend their after school clubs and the usual range of out school/holiday activities is still available to ALL children. Home ed or not.

Online school is not an option for everyone but perhaps your husband might consider that as a compromise? I find it helps provide DS with the structure to his day he so badly needs being AS. We are using Briteschool (experienced with AS, and flexible time table + lessons are recorded) but I keep hearing great things about Interhigh too. If using online school Granny/neighbours/childminders can supervise if you need them to so you can work. (A factor for some).

One advantage for AS kids is that you can stagger exams more easily as a home edder. I can't imagine DS doing 8-9 GCSE's all at once. With home ed he can do his best subject a year early & his worst a year late more easily so reducing the anxiety factor overall for him. You can also choose the subjects that will best suit him rather than what the NC dictates and devote as much time as it takes to get that all important C for English language if needed rather than the limited hours a school timetable dictates (you mentioned your child was dyslexic).

With his reduced stress levels DS is capable of taking part in far more mainstream extra curricular leisuire activities than he was previously. Socially this is a REALLY good thing for him as everyone wants lots of likeminded mates who share common interests as a teen.

Or I've just recently met a few people who have used the US secondary online schools as these give an American High school cert. This removes exam stress totally from kids with AS yet gives the child a Uni-entry qualification at the end. Sounds better to me than flunking out totally for a child who is likely to have a special interest they could turn into a useful career if they can only make it to Uni.

Thank you so much Bochead. Today some cracks in ds2's experience of school are beginning to emerge He told me he needs to sing in the school corridors because he is bored with no-one to talk to . He was in the choir but started shouting rather than singing so his brother felt very embarrassed, and for that reason I suggested he take a break from choir for a few months. I need to find him another choir outside school I think. (There is one round the corner on Saturday)

Everything you say is fascinating, especially the bit about socialising and time to concentrate on particular OT or literacy issues without distraction. The computer based learning is also a good solution to Ds's need for routines - I've already noticed how much more he gets out of MyMath exercises set by teacher than the same work when he has to write out the sums. He seems much less frustrated when it is pure Maths and less writing, and able to focus. Although to some extent Home Edding is for me an OT issue, letting him engage with world/ideas rather than feel frustrated by not being able to write neat lines on a page, and then switching off.

Splitting learning from having fun is deffo the way to go for DS it seems.

School had 2 curricula for him the social and the academic, so he was trying twice as hard as his peers to keep up and sadly the academic side was sliding. Now I feel there is a much better balance, especially as he is now able to join in "after school" social activities like scouts/swimming lessons whereas previously he needed the evenings just to recover from the school day.

As working at a laptop via online school has become his "habitual" way of working, I am informed by my local council that he is more likely to get permission to do formal exams this way, subject to a letter of authority from a qualified ed pysch or OT. This gave me a measure of comfort, though with all Gove's constant changes I will monitor this situation as the years go by (at 9 he is still quite a way off public exams yet).