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Looking for reassurance/advice!!!

1 reply

jussi · 09/09/2013 21:56

Hello,
Background-DS 6 (ASD) doesn't like school. Moved to new area in March. School not providing good enough support.He has a 1-1 all day. This school year so far has been a battle getting him in.
Last year didn't like going in but was always told at end of the day that he'd had a good day.Is always getting stickers and when I have seen his books have actually been impressed (as he won't put pen to paper at home).
BUT he really doesn't like going in, says it is boring,he doesn't talk,is too shy,it makes him angry.
He is really motivated by his own interests and I've 'fantasised' about what we could do if we HE. From mere daydreams I am now seriously contemplating removing him from school so we can tailor everything completely to his needs.
It does scare me though as he will not do any 'traditional' work which I am fine with (I keep telling myself) but I do wonder then how long do I let him 'get away with not writing' as although I know he can type if he wants,there will be times when he will need to fill out forms,etc.
the social aspect does concern me too as although he is okay on a 1-1 or very small groups, he does not like new big groups so it would be a trial to get him to any group activities (although that one we can work on).
His sister has just started the nursery of the school he would be leaving so would still have to have contact.
Other people tell me to look around for other schools but I haven't mentioned to anyone (except DP and my mother) that I'm thinking about HE. And yes their reaction and the need to explain and justify my reasons make me nervous too.
I know at the end if the day it is just down to what is best for my son but I am do scared of making the wrong decision but not realising until its too late.
Not any questions as such but just a massive incoherent ramble.if nothing else, it's made me feel better typing it out!

OP posts:
ommmward · 10/09/2013 07:53

Get a copy of 'paths are made by walking' - it's a whole lot of stories about people home educating children with asd. You would find it reassuring, also Alan Thomas and Harriet Pattison, 'how children learn at home'. I have never done any formal work with my children, not once, not ever, and they are learning like sponges. It very rarely looks anything at all like school but I trust that they are learning all the time and, indeed, they are.

Social stuff: like you, big group situations aren't great round here either. We do quite a lot of one-on-one playdates. You can maintain school friendships, or make new ones with school users. Our weekends and school holidays get really busy!! And there may well be local he families you can meet up with. It can take slightly longer for such friendships to get established, because everyone is busy and, also, he children are usually accustomed to having freedom of association, so (at least in the hippy circles I move in) people tend to follow their children 's preferences of how to spend a morning rather than forcing them to go to particular place. It might be a good idea for you to have really fun activitieson hand for visitors so that, even if the direct social with your son takes a whileto warm up, you're still a fun place to visit.

I don't worry aboutthe writing. You can learn beautiful handwriting at the pointwhen it matters. Just do writing together- model how it is genuinely useful - scribe for him so that the story he is telling can be retold, make shopping lists entirelyon his agenda and go put to buy the things, write a postcard following his dictation. In the end, when there is a real motivation for writing by hand, he'll do it.

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