what to do?

[morethanpotatoprints]

I am so glad that we took dd out of school especially now but need some sound advice please.
I have done Maths and English with dd and to be frank its rubbish. Poor love hasen't got a clue, despite school telling us all was fine. When she started we told them of her problems with speech and she had only just been signed off speech therapy. I am also severley dyslexic so was a bit concerned. She seemed ok at school and usually came out average/ above average in tests.
She can't spell, doesn't understand how many sounds make words, handwriting is illegible. Now I don't really think labels help so not after diagnosis and can't afford synthetic phonics packages. She is also telling me now how it used to worry her when they did story writing. I know I should have noticed it before but in comparison to how I was she seemed just a bit slow. I do believe dyslexia can be over come as I have used various strategies over the years. But have no idea where to go from here. Answers on post cards please. A link from someone on ed thread to an auditory test I just did with her. She scored 33/40 and it said more than 3 wrong at age 8 meant auditory problems.

I don't know about your daughter's learning needs but what we are doing is going right back to basics. So we are currently doing maths that is too easy so that I can find out where his gaps are. It may be worth going back to Y1 work and starting there. My so definitely has a learning disability but we haven't worked out what it is yet. Sometimes he gets something and other times he doesn't so I try and use visual strategies for him. Montessori was the only place he really excelled but they don't really have many resources after nursery and certainly not by secondary age.

Am a teacher. Try dragonspeak software. Audio books improve vocabulary (audible.co.uk) and do lots of story telling as well as story writing. Try to get her to think about how to affect her reader - to scare them (what are scary words) or to make them cry (sad words). Do not get hung up on spelling as it just paralyses them and stops creativity and them enjoying writing. Take dictation. Get her to write some, then dictate, then write, and so on. Read as much as you can to and with her. Dn't know about Maths as am secondary English teacher. Good luck.

Thank you both.
I am panicking a bit as although I have been through what seems like worse than she will ever go through I can't remember what helped me really. I hadn't thought of audio books so will check out dragonspeak and also agree that going back to basics will help as it seems like whole chunks are missing.

My son is older than your DD, I think, but I too - like Colleger - have had to go back to basics now we are home educating. I'm shocked at the things DS1 doesn't know/can't do after all those years at school. I am ignoring age ranges on books and ordering the levels I think he needs, eg. handwriting books for 7 - 8 year olds (he's 12).

Sorry, I can't provide more detailed help. Rose's advice sounds good. I'm sure your individual attention will help your DD more than anything.

Hi toffee.

I think its shock with me, especially as nobody had even suggested there may be a problem. In fairness to them though I have read with dd and seen her work at school and it was difficult to know if there was a problem as sometimes she was ok.
Anyway I can give her my full attention now and just hope I can find a way through. I really do think its right back to letter forming and sounding. I was really looking forward to encouraging cursive writing with a lovely fine nib pen. Think I'll give that a miss for a while.
I too am ignoring age ranges, its hard to explain to them why they have to do a lower age. I said it was aimed at private school kids and they did harder work, this made her smile and less likely to strop so although I hate lying, it was worth it, lol.

When the new handwriting book arrives in the post - featuring a big circle on the cover with 'For ages 7 - 9' printed inside it - I am going to put a sticker on top, so DS1 will not even see it . I will bear in mind the "it's aimed at private schools" response too.

I queried DS's letter formations with his form teacher when he was in Year 4. She replied that she didn't know how to form some of her letters properly either and it had never held her back .

Toffee.
Good idea with the sticker, maybe go one further and superglue it on, lol. I'm not sure what to say about the teacher, honesty being best policy and all. Maybe we do put too much emphasis on hand writing skills, it was very important when I was at school and I practised till my hands hurt. My dh Grammar school ed was surprised when he saw my neat writing and I still find it hard to scrawl, even my quickest is best because I programmed myself to not accept less. Now I don't think many bother as much as very few people actually write. I want dd to have good writing skills and had a chat about dyslexia tonight, she doesn't believe I am so I have to get ed psych report out of loft now.

Incidentally, my DS was diagnosed as dyslexic aged 6. I used audio books and read to him every day (still do). I was quite tough about him having to read to me every day too, as he needed the practise. He found learning to read incredibly difficult, but once he cracked it, he was off. He has since lost his dyslexia diagnosis (but gained others ).

Whatever your DD's 'diagnosis' (and dyslexia sounds likely given your own diagnosis), I think you can't go wrong with patient individual attention. I used to keep reading sessions very short (just five minutes if that was all I could take - it was very frustrating) and always end on a positive note. I used the books with gold stars and DS1 loved these. Gave him loads of encouragement. We also did the summer reading scheme at the library and he was young enough to enjoy earning his presents, medal and certificate.

Toffee.

What a lovely story and I'm so glad he is doing well. You must have had alot of patience to provide the support you did. I am fine with other peoples children and even supported a dyslexic child at school/ worked as a TA, but when it comes to my own I'm not half as patient.
I am getting better now and tell myself not to expect too much, it is difficult for me though.
Today I have put away all the books I got for upper ks2 and am concentrating on the old ones not cpmpleted from y2/3. When these are done I will go on to y4 but for now I'm not going to keep worrying. As long as she grows up litterate and numerate whats the rush.

No, morethan, I found it really, really enfuriating to teach him! But getting cross with him was no help, so I learnt to keep teaching sessions very, very short, so that my patience didn't wear thin. That way, we avoided any conflict and he felt supported and encouraged and, hopefully, didn't pick up on my less positive feelings .

Good idea to put away the inappropriate books and concentrate on the ones that will build your DD's confidence. at supergluing label on age range! I stuck stickers on top, then discovered that the book had 'Aged 7 - 9' printed in huge letters on the inside cover . Just had time to rip out the page before DS1 saw it . This is the book, by the way. The series starts with handwriting for 5 - 6 year olds. There might be one suitable for your DD. I have had a browse through the book this evening and it looks promising. I'm going to start DS1 off on it tomorrow.

Another thing that might help your DD with handwriting is a pencil grip like one of these. I have yet to see whether these work or not, but they were recommended to me by a teacher.

I am glad you have made the decision to stop worrying . It sounds like you are going to be doing lots to help your DD (certainly far more than school did), so unproductive worry will do you no good at all.

DS1 who has dyspraxia finds these really good for handwriting.

DD who still doesn't really hold a pencil as well as I would like her to uses this.

We use Getty and Dubay for handwriting - it's an American course and teaches italic but it's a really nice style of writing. I started DS1 on book D when he was around 10.

Toffe.

I have such a grin on myself reading about your stickers as I know where you are now. my dd noticed one today and said "you know that maths book mum? Do you expect me to do that? I said "yes". Her reply "Good luck with that". We did exercises round 8 times table instead. Then music practice, bit of Italian and shopping until singing lesson, choir and string ensemble. Sounds like alot but we spent all afternoon shopping for new clothes as poor kids
wardrobe was empty. Huge growth spurt.
Tinuviel, will check out your recs, thanks very much. Sometimes I think dyspraxia is worse than dyslexia because people even if wrong always think they know something about dyslexia. Mention dyspraxia and nobody knows the full implications. I had an Ofsted inspection once and was using an unfamiliar room. I fell over several tables and slid under one. I have also been suspended from a job once because they thought I was drunk. It was soon cleared up but very humiliating.
How old is your ds, does he have the lack of spatial awareness that comes with this?

He's nearly 15, morethan. Yes, to an extent - he has no concept of 'personal space'!! He's also being assessed for Aspergers at the moment - apparently the two often go together! His handwriting isn't even on the first centile it is so slow but they won't officially diagnose him as dyspraxic because his average score was too high! His balance is good (he has danced since he was 3) and having been obsessed with Lego for many years he is also quite dexterous in some ways. OTOH they asked him to throw a ball at a door 20 time with each hand and catch it with 1 hand - he managed to catch it once with 2 hands and that was it. So his scores ranged from 4th centile to 90th! It's a nightmare TBH but we hopefully now have enough paperwork to get extra time in exams, (partly because of handwriting and partly because of processing speed).