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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Original poster

Conversation in Asda...

29 replies

catnipkitty · 08/09/2012 16:30

Me plus the 3 girls in tow...at the checkout.

Checkout assistant: "Girls not back at school yet?"
Me (deep sigh, can I be bothered to have this conversation now?): "No...they don't go to school."
CA (Confused look. Looks at children. Looks back at me):"Are they at nursery then?"
[They are 7 and 8yrs old]
Me:" No, I educate them at home."
CA: "Do they not go to school AT ALL?"
Me: "No. Lucky aren't they?"
CA: "You think you can do a better job than the teachers?"
Me (finished paying by now thank goodness): "Well......that's not quite the point... How about you Google it, you'll find alot of about it. There are lots of Us around!"

We push trolley away feeling pleased with ourselves having spread the news .

OP posts:

Colleger · 08/09/2012 16:37

Excellent - although I would have said YES to the latter!

lindy20 · 08/09/2012 18:06

Sounds like the normal response ..........its annoying because you know what they are gong to say pointless conversation.....good for you anyway and yes we can do better than the teachers .....as we know our children the best.....thats why shes a checkout girl...........

mychildrenarebarmy · 08/09/2012 18:42

It's not always the case lindy20. Of the last 10 times checkout people have asked if mine have a day off school only 1 of them responded in a negative way. The other 9 either said "oh, my friend does that" or "wow, lucky children, that sounds great".

lindy20 · 09/09/2012 06:48

Where i live im near enough the only one who is .......

siblingrivalry · 09/09/2012 20:53

In the space of an hour last week, we were asked by a taxi driver, a bakery assistant and a librarian why dd wasn't at school.
We've only just started HE, so I wasn't totally prepared. However, they were all quite positive- and I got a nice lecture from the taxi driver on why the LA should be providing work for her

morethanpotatoprints · 09/09/2012 21:03

sibling.

The taxi driver, how funny. Several people have been positive to us but also a few have asked if the school send work home or if the LEA are strict. Basically suggesting that the LEA are in some way in charge of what we do.
I really don't mind these questions though as it helps to not only spread the word but to inform of what we do.
I still wish I had known more about H.ed when ds 21 and 17 were younger. There was very little out there and the only info seemed to be that people who kept kids from school were freaks and their kids turned out unsociable and weird. If only I had known!

Gentleness · 10/09/2012 23:08

I've had the same response about doing better than the teachers. And we haven't even started yet! My response is that I can do better than teachers who are dictated to by non-expert party politicians and prevented from teaching the way they really want to.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 10/09/2012 23:15

Tbf though, most people who don't home school probably have the view that home schooling is like mainstream schooling just at home so the 'students' should be at home learning during school hours. It really isn't odd of people to ask, and you sighing at her is a bit rude - she doesn't know she is the hundredth person to have asked you.

PhoenixFirefly · 11/09/2012 00:18

what exactly do you mean by '....thats why shes a checkout girl.......'?

Original poster

catnipkitty · 11/09/2012 07:43

GoldPlatedNineDoors oh dear, the sigh was in my head so no need to get your knickers in a twist. I'm not a rude person and perfectly happy to have a discussion about HEd with anyone..in fact I am quite evangelical about it if people show an interest...but it's hard to explain things in detail while keeping an eye on 3 kids in a packed shop while juggling all the shopping coming at you to pack.

To be fair, it was only supposed to be an amusing story for those of us who experience this most days....

OP posts:

CatKitson · 11/09/2012 09:27

Rude assistant. Its her job to check out food, not to comment on your choice to home educate your child.

Go to Waitrose instead. I bet they aren't so impolite as to harass you as you do your shop!

InvaderZim · 11/09/2012 13:52

Hm. No, I've gotten very odd comments from the checkout staff at my local Waitrose. Not about HE, some but very weird comments when DC was young. People are people no matter where they shop, or work!

morethanpotatoprints · 11/09/2012 15:53

I think the worst are the ones who look at you, and don't say anything but gawp. Thought I was doing well today when I took dd to the library, morrisons for a few groceries and music shop for scale book.
I have not experienced this type before, people usually speak even if its to ask silly questions.
She looked down her nose at me whilst eyeing dd, wish I'd asked her what her problem was or tried to make a conversation, but really couldn't be bothered as she looked so evil.
Parents at dd dance class were great yesterday. Very supportive and encouraging. Yes there were questions but they were genuinely interested.

Startailoforangeandgold · 11/09/2012 15:58

We get very random mid term inset days, which I tend to use to go into Birmingham. We get some very odd looks.

I always think then my HE friend must have very thick skin.

ThreadWatcher · 12/09/2012 21:48

When I first took my two out of school, going out on a school day was not something I welcomed. I used to walk along feeling as if everyone was looking at me.
After 3 years and few comments I dont even notice now. School is something other people do and of little relavance to me/mine.

People do ask and I get a range of opinions - normally "Oooh you are brave" or "I couldnt do that!" or "Cool!"
The only person who has been awful to me about HE was a "friend" - thankfully not someone I was keen on anyway!

musicposy · 12/09/2012 23:40

We were in Asda today too and I deliberately chose an older lady who looked like she wouldn't ask DD why she wasn't at school. Not sure why I thought she wouldn't, but my hunch was right, she didn't!

She just chatted to DD about the Moshi Monsters sweatshirt she'd bought and said it was really nice. I thought that was lovely as DD2 is still very much into toys and much younger things and sometimes this gets commented on too at checkouts by more thoughtless sales assistants (DD2 is quite quirky and follows her own path rather than traditional 13 year old convention). It was lovely to have someone who was just really friendly.

I'm quite happy to chat about the home ed, but like you, OP, it gets wearisome and sometimes it's easier just to avoid! However, like you, ThreadWatcher the only person I've had really snide and awful comments from is a supposed friend! With most people they just genuinely don't understand how it works.

anastaisia · 13/09/2012 12:43

My answer to the teacher type comments is always something like 'oh I think there are some amazing teachers. But they have to work so hard against a system that just can't possibly suit every child at once. I just don't know how they cope when policies keep changing and [topic I think might appeal to the person I'm talking to]'

It usually works and they have a bit of a chat about the problem with SATS or school starting ages or league tables or whatever the thing they don't like about school is.

I really don't mind talking about home ed when people are interested and I have time, but some days I just want to change the subject or leave quickly.

ThreadWatcher · 13/09/2012 13:07

music my so called friend was a teacher who informed me school was essential.
I said it wasnt! Thankfully we moved so i rarely see her now :)

It is interesting re: the range of different opinions you get from random strangers as well as friends and family.
I know my mother will disapprove until the day mine are both living independantly and working. Then she might grunt (but perhaps not grant!) her approval.
Sigh

Intersat · 16/09/2012 08:09

I can't decide if I should feel left out or not

No-one ever asks us why DD is not in school and we have been home educating for ages now (it seems)

FionaJNicholson · 16/09/2012 09:01

Not a question of doing a better job, it's a different job.My line is I'm trying to achieve something different.

The question is usually about THEM so they can explain to themselves why they weren't home ed eg or why they send THEIR children to school (tis cos you have to be a qualified teacher in all those different subjects and be an expert)

I honestly don't think it's intended to undermine or challenge, though that's how it comes across.

And even if it WERE intended to undermine or challenge, it's still satisfying to refuse to take the bait and to turn it into a conversation on your terms. Nobody can argue with "I'm doing something different." If they want to say "but isn't that dangerous/brave/arrogant" whatever I can say well, it doesn't feel like that to me but I suppose it might be, mmm...interesting question zzzz"

pictish · 16/09/2012 09:06

that's why she's a checkout girl

Do crawl back out of your own rectum Lindy - what a self satisfied thing to say. Like you'd know - you just showed way more ignorance than the checkout girl by a long shot. Good luck with the HE - I'm sure you imagine you've got it all sewn up.

SleepyCaz · 16/09/2012 09:09

That's why she's a checkout girl.

Wow. Just, wow.

ByTheWay1 · 16/09/2012 09:19

mmm - I hope you are not teaching your kids to feel so superior....

I'm a dinner lady (with a degree in Maths... ) but I chose to do it to be there for my kids around school times. I also tutor home ed kids.... and it is unfortunate that some parents and their children do display that attitude.

It is lovely to see the confusion that the juxtaposition of dinner lady (in an overall) at £7 per hour and tutor (in a suit) at £35 per hour provides.....

Dogstar1 · 16/09/2012 09:28

I'd just like to say I work in a supermarket, my main role being filling shelves. Does that make me any less of a person because of the job I do. I work with some very intelligent people who all work there for varying reasons. Me personally it's because it not only pays the bills, it gives me the flexibility I need to HE my DD.

Yes it can be annoying when asked why your kids aren't at school but I see it as a chance to spread the word. Some think it's great, a few disapprove, that's their choice. I find it quite amusing to see the initial look of shock when I say "Oh, she doesn't go to school" lol. Most people I've spoken to didn't even know HE was an option and are genuinely interested to find out more.

pictish · 16/09/2012 09:29

Yes...according to Lindy - it makes you a lesser person.

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