One child at home and one at school

[siblingrivalry]

Can I just offload on here please?

I'm so sad today. DD1 starts her HE journey tomorrow (yay!) BUT dd2 is going to school.
It feels so wrong to send her back and I literally feel sick at the thought of 'handing her back' tomorrow.

As a bit of background, dd1 always hated school. She would be starting secondary tomorrow and we always planned to take her out of school after Y6.
DD2 has periods of liking school, interspersed with not liking it. For the most part, she's happy to see her friends and likes the teacher she will be getting, but says that she just 'doesn't like it'.

She got upset last night, though, and said that she really misses home and her family and that she might want to be taught at home too. I have absolutely no problem with this at all -in fact it would make our life so much easier, without being tied to school hours.
She says she wants to see what it's like in her new class and take it from there. Again, I'm happy for her to do this-I strongly suspect she will come out of school soon, too.

In the meantime, though, it just feels so wrong to take her in tomorrow. I am trying to be positive for her and am talking about how nice it will be for her to see her friends (she has lots). Inside, though, I feel dreadful.
There's no easy answer at the moment;just wait and see really. Just wanted to it out to people who I know will understand

let it out

Take the positive out of it. Enjoy the short time you will probably have with DD1 and use it as a learning process to help you grow and prepare for DD2 coming out. :)

If your daughter knows it is an option for her to leave school, going to school this year does not have to be a bad experience. There is a world of difference between being subjected to a difficult situation, and choosing to tolerate a difficult situation which you know you can leave whenever you want. That sense of empowerment will help her ride the rough times. She may choose to leave school or she may not, but she is not a victim.

(hugs)) I know it's hard to see your child conflicted and making what feels to you like a mistake, but she'll learn from this and I really doubt it will damage her.

I wish you and her good luck on her first day back tomorrow. Whether she stays at school or comes out, I hope it all works out well for your whole family.

sibling -good advice from colleger and Saracen above, so not much to add, except to say that I'm in the same position and understand how you feel. My younger son is going back to school on Wednesday and he's ambivalent about it because he knows his older brother is now being educated at home. However, DS2 generally enjoys school and has good friends there, so I'm telling myself this is right for him, just as home ed is right for DS1.

Don't feel guilty. You are doing the right thing for each of your DC.

Thanks everyone
Some very wise words- you have backed up what I was thinking;I just needed to hear it, I think.

I have managed to calm myself down a bit- DD2 seemed quite excited while she was packing her school bag.
I am just going to take it a week at a time, I think, and keep a close eye on dd2.

I'm starting GE on Wednesday with my nearly 11yo. My 6.5 yo will be at school. At the moment this is right for both of them. The problem would only come if you were forcing a DC into school if they didn't want to be there. You're doing the right thing!

DS1 starts school tomorrow in Yr 6 having never been. DS2 (would be Yr2) is staying home. They are both doing what is right for them.
From my perspective I am a bit bemused at how I'm going to manage the logistics (made 5 times as difficult as I rely on public transport in a village where service is erratic) but with help from dh (thank heavens for flexible hours), clubs and friends sure we'll manage. But mainly I'm looking forwrd to enjoying spending time with ds2.
It will be fine!

Thank you
DD2 seems quite cheery this morning-she's doing better then I am !

DD1 is also nervous, but I think she is still in a 'school' frame of mind. I think it will take some time for her to realise that our daily routine isn't going to be rigid.

Good luck Helenagrace, and good luck to your DS1, itsstillgood.