Phew

[Colleger]

The pressure to work towards senior school entry at 13 has been lifted. DH says he'd rather we went into HE without one arm tied behind our back. So now I just have to remove the pressure from myself!

Yee hah. That's great news. Relax and enjoy!

Fab! Can he persuade my DH please (who's still focused on secondary school being the only way...Grrr!)?!

Excellent- it sounds like you both need to relax and enjoy the chance for him to be a wee boy again, while he still is one! Have followed your posts with interest due to the common music link, and it strikes me that HE is the perfect antidote after a specialist music school. There's plenty time for all of that later on if it's still what he'd like to do.

Colleger.
Really glad for you and its so good that you and dh are together on this. I think its important to agree. We do mostly but dh is still not sure about secondary yet. We are waiting to see what happens.
Well said flussymummy.
It is so easy to get carried away with thoughts of music schools, I am most guilty of this myself and admit I would consider this at secondary level. It is difficult if they are talented because even though at the back of your mind you know these schools aren't essential its still hard not to be aiming for them especially if dc is.

These schools are not essential but if music is the path they want to take then the teacher is key and being involved in as many good orchestras and courses for their level is also key. Whilst at the music school my son was obsessed and couldn't get enough of music but now out he isn't interested at all. In saying that he drops comments from time to time that show he is still passionate!

Fwiw, it wasn't music school in two years time that was stressing us but top Public School entry. Over the last year it dawned on me that these schools are nothing more than schools and my son deserves to be given a good HE education and not be tied to an entry exam syllabus. Persuading my husband has been the tricky part.

No doubt there will be more wobbles, especially as his brother is off to one of these schools soon and, all going well, I may hanker after DS going...sigh.

Colleger,
I know it wasn't music school with you as I remember ds had recently left. I'm not so sure that music school is the best for all dcs who want to do music anyway. I think your ds may become more interested as you set out on H.ed journey. I can't remember if we ever discussed your local LEA provision. I know they aren't brilliant for lessons and private is much better, but sometimes they are good for orchestras, ensembles and competitions, performing etc. Our LEA is very good here and we can still access everything when H.ed.

Honestly, I think a combination of music college Junior Department plus county youth/national youth plus normal life is a much better plan than a specialist music school. I know a lot of professional musicians, and none of the well adjusted ones went to specialist music schools...

I found that entering music college from a state school (no junior dept or music school) to be an incredibly exciting experience as it was all so new and stimulating. It was all rather passé and dull to many of those students who had been at junior departments and music schools. I wouldn't recommend my route into the profession for a second as it was a very steep learning curve, but definitely had some advantages.

Flussymummy.

Your experience sounds similar to my dh. He went to music college having only passed a grade 6 on second instrument. Had never taken an exam on his first and gets quite uppity at the number of times I say grade x when referring to dd and planning routes for her.
It is annoying though as it is she that asks for direction and if either of us don't give it she looks herself. I'm sure she may change with time but for now I'm sticking with it and letting her go in the direction she wants.
I have never known anyone so self motivating and determined, she scares me sometimes. She will just announce something out of the blue like "I'm going to win x competition" "I'll be famous one day, remember my name" she asked a lady in the park a couple of weeks ago if she'd seen her picture in the paper for winning local young musician. Its cringe worthy

Not everyone has access to a combination of JD and county orchestra. My son is not allowed in the county orchestra because of his age eventhough he is beyond the entry level and was at a specialist school when we applied. There are no other good quality orchestras in our area for him either although he does attend a mediocre one to socialise. JD is currently out of the question for us to due to practical reasons.

I've not come across many well-adjusted musicians regardless of their education but I'd say that music school attracts quirky kids who've found normal schooling difficult so I wouldn't accuse the school of producing a "type" but a larger than average percentage of these children entering a music school.

That's very interesting Colleger. I'm not sure that being well-adjusted really matters when you become an adult anyway... Most of the adults that I know (musicians and otherwise) could certainly be described as "quirky" in their own special way. It's during school years that it seems so important to conform (so as not to be bullied perhaps?) I'm hoping that HE will help our DDs to feel comfortable in their individuality, however that manifests itself.

I must qualify the statement about non-adjusted musicians. That is only by the worlds standards, they in themselves are perfectly happy and successful. :)

I didn't mean to give any offence! I'm a musician myself, with lots of friends (both pro and amateur).

Lots of my pro friends had "normal" childhoods (if you can count self-motivated practice for hours a day, and huge time investment in orchestras and choirs and so forth "normal" ). They are happy with how that was for them; they are happy with their trajectory since. At some point in their late teens or early 20s, they seriously put the hours in in the practice room to get to professional standard.

Other people I know (no close friends, actually) went to Chets or the Purcell School. They got to a standard there that none of the rest of us came close to matching in our mid-teens. But they were stressed and under strain. Eating disorders, burn out, yada yada. There was a real feeling of being under the microscope - of being intimately aware of how much other people were practising and with exactly what results. Some of them have done well in the profession - but no better than the people who had still-live-at-home access to national or county standard music making. And IMO, for a serious musician, there comes a point where that standard of music making is essential, even if only through summer courses, as a reality check as much as anything. (National Youth Wind Orchestra is a less pressured way into that world, I hear, and they played jolly nicely at the proms the other week; Millennium Youth Choir is similarly raved about by those who have done it).

No offence taken here, the Internet is a nightmare for conveying emotion - or lack of!

My personal opinion is that musicians are not normal, the ones I have come across anyway. I also think that if somebody is going to be a musician they will do it irrespective of schooling, colleges etc. Obviously a good teacher and school can help, but if they were necessary there wouldn't be the talented folk out there rising to the top having been self taught, without supportive parents etc.
I do admit to being a hypocrite here though as I am the first to download prospectus from jds, good choirs, international music competitions. I do mention grades and am quite supportive of practice and working towards the latest level. I do badger dh with plans of where to go next and buy music etc. At the same time though we have fun, play music together, listen and talk about music, even our other dcs who don't play anything will join in the odd note occassionally, usually just for the giggle. Maybe all this fun would go with a jd or the thought of having to take it seriously, I guess we just wait and see.

Goodness- no offence taken here either- I'm very aware of how odd musos seem to the rest of the world! I also agree wholeheartedly that the hours have been put in at some point- for me it was 6-10 hrs a day (honestly) every day between the ages of 17 and 22. That's not exactly normal. While I feel that I'd learnt some resilience from being in a state school it didn't prepare me at all for the feeling of being "under a microscope" which happens at music college- but to have that same pressure at such a young age could potentially be quite damaging.
That said- some children thrive in such environments don't they?

There are some hideous parents at music school. Some delightful ones, but the pressure tends to come from a significant number of parents and it's not pleasant. I think these parents become even more unpleasant in such an environment because the bar is raised and the competition even fiercer.

I suspected as much. I wonder how on earth these parents cope when (if?)their children eventually enter the profession only to find that it's not quite as thrilling as they might have imagined.