Question for those who HE different aged children

[Helenagrace]

I am trying to HE both my children to see how it goes. We might be moving so I may have to consider this full time.

I have nearly 11yo and a VERY lively 6.5 yo. I can't seem to cope with them both. DD is prepping for 11+ as we might be moving to a grammar school area and it will give her the option of school later on. DS is very bright (doing his sisters year 4 maths tests and getting 90-100%) but it's too much to have them both working at the same time.

What am I doing wrong???

I think this is the hardest aspect of HE. My two boys are 3 and 6. The 6 yr old is bright but dyspraxic so he needs a lot of help brute force and bribery to write anything down.

I do a chunk of academic work (English, maths, tables and work on current project - the Romans with a bit of Latin) Mon - Wed mornings with DS1 whilst DS2 potters (but mainly watches TV which I feel hideous about) Thurs and Fri mornings are free and Fri evening DH does a big science project with DS1 whilst on Sat and Sun, DH does science stuff with DS1 whilst I look after DS2. I also have a science tutor once a week on a Monday for DS1 too. I would get a maths tutor too if I could afford it, but we can't.

This means DS2 watches TV for about 2 hrs on a mon, tues and wed but ideally at no other time so I feel less guilty about it over all but DS1 gets some proper time to focus on the key subjects.

All other aspects - nature/cooking/geog/art/crafts and history are done via reading nice colourful books together (DS2 likes this too and can join in at his own level).

BTW the reason why we have a lot of focus on science is because DS1 loves it and is really good at it (much better than me) so we have concentrated on helping him develop his best subject. It makes him happy and boosts his confidence. Also it helps him to feel that he is really getting something good out of his home edding experience.

I'm interested n this issue - considering using the 15 hours free childcare for dd2 when she is eligible (spring term) so dd1 has time for peaceful study. But then I would feel guilty I think.

My DS2 is eligible at the end of sept for the 15 hrs too but I would feel terrible if I sent him off (I am anti nursery etc anyway). Am going to struggle through this patch - I think it'll be much better in a couple of years!

Planning works for me.

I make sure I know exactly what we are doing the next day, and my older one has her printed out instructions. I organize it so I start the younger one off with some arts and crafts, puzzles, maths games or online work (Brain Pop or similar). While he gets started on that, I spend up to half an hour doing actual teaching of maths with the older one. When she is up and running, I go back to the younger one. I then do some actual one on one teaching with him, while the older one works. She has an answer book for the maths, so if she gets something wrong, she knows immediately and can ask for help when I am free again.

I go back and forth like this for the rest of the school day. Sometimes I can get them together - for instance for science experiments, expecting different levels of response from each of them. My younger one finishes after around 1pm, and I carry on for another hour with the older one, either sorting out issues, or carrying on with something new.

It does mean getting them to work independently once they are set up with their work and have had it explained to them, but only be independent for say half and hour at a time before I swap child again. Mine a a year younger than yours, but the same age gap.

He did you manage with one preschool an one infant aged one? (sorry, using school terms, but best wa of explaining)

Dd1 is a fluent reader, likes sitting quietly, does basic maths paper tasks, bug hunts, science experiments etc. dd2 is a very boisterous toddler who is violent when bored..

Disclaimer: I EHEed all the way through (DC, 2.3 years apart, now both over 18) but we were not trying to follow a structure until DC started gaining qualifications (about 13).

You may find it easier not to think in terms of a "school day". So you could do some things with one DC while the other is doing their own thing (regardless of time or day of week). Mostly we were fine doing things together because most of their education was practical and they could both do whatever it was at their own level.

What does the 6.5 yo DS do that makes it too much? If DD is doing prep for an 11+, can he be given a (e.g. maths) paper to do at the same time? If she needs it to be quiet, can he help cook dinner or something?

BTW, a Y2 child doing Y4 maths papers is only "very bright" if you are used to the school system. In EHE, we are used to seeing children being at levels that vary wildly from the chronologically pegged levels of school (can be above or below and a different child can be at different levels at different times).