Help! Practicalities of H.ed

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hi, just having my latest kind of wobble.
During the holidays we have had a bit of a trial run, nothing too dramatic as obviously on holiday.
I am worried that my dds attitude to me teaching or explaining things to her is not good. She seems to take it personally like I'm criticising her. I give plenty of praise, and have explained that her teacher at school had to explain things and help them understand. Is there anything else I can do.
Also for an 8 year old (would be y4) can anyone suggest a typical way to do things. E.g sit at the side and supervise or leave her to it and do some much needed housework. Learn together as some subjects will necessitate or a mixture of many strategies.
I'm just beginning to wonder about the actual practicalities now.

"I am worried that my dds attitude to me teaching or explaining things to her is not good. She seems to take it personally like I'm criticising her. I give plenty of praise, and have explained that her teacher at school had to explain things and help them understand. Is there anything else I can do."

Facilitate instead of teaching?
Allow her time to deschool and regain a love of learning?
Relax and enjoy learning through life?

You said elsewhere I make it sound so easy....guess what? It is.
Time consuming yes, we were fully engaged in our children's education whenever they wanted us to be, but easy, enjoyable...joyful!

Thank you Julie, I'm sure you are right. I read your posts and hope that it will be like that for us.
To be fully engaged whenever they wanted you to be, must have taken some work as I have heard you mention you had a structured approach to begin with. I'm not sure I'll have the patience to answer questions and explain things constantly.
I don't mean to creep here but I think you are a fantastic role model for parents just starting out in H.ed along with Fiona. I think I can speak for many on here who are thankful and grateful for your wisdom and support.

It sounds like you are going through exactly what Alan Thomas describes in his books - have you read them?

Back off!!!! Just don't do anything that looks educational. Wait for your child to ask questions, and answer.

And avoid praising - read Alfie Kohn's book "Punished by Rewards". He argues - and I buy into this - that praise is just the flip side of criticism. It all makes our children reliant on our approval, looking to us for what the right answer is, or the socially acceptable behaviour, rather than taking ownership of their own learning and actions. Of course we can offer guidance, but praise is really destructive (all the educational literature is really really clear that praise is a demotivator - it's counter intuitive but true).

It's a hard habit to break, I know! But ideally we pick up on our child's response to their own activities. If your child is just showing a picture you can say "wow, there are a lot of colours in that picture" - something descriptive but non judgmental. And if your child comes bouncing up really pleased saying "look, look at my amazing picture" of course it's ok to say "oh it is amazing, you look really pleased with yourself".

Do you see what I mean?

Ommmward.

Thanks for that. Certainly food for thought. I didn't really used to praise the other kids but then I did a PGCE and worked as a TA for a while so it became ingrained. I do see what you mean, I think. So its ok to encourage but not gush about how brilliant something is.
I was also panicking a bit that she may not want to learn if there was no pressure, and the holidays have been a bit in limbo.
Tonight she asked me to show her If I had anything on Athens as she would like to start this topic in History. Needless to say I had downloaded most of the resources on tes. I did say it was up to her to do her own research and find things for herself as well.
I will get a copy of the books you and chocolate crispies suggest, reading will make a change from endless resource searching, lol.

Hi. DD1 8 and half left school in March. She positively resents any kind of traditional 'teaching'. I was worried that she wasn't going to learn enough being HEd. Worksheets/books etc just don't work for her. She is still deschooling but has changed so much in 6 months. She reads endlessly fiction and non and seems to retain 90% of what she reads, she has rediscovered her creative side, she is full of energy, exercises alot more. She has learnt a HUGE amount and has an amazing general knowledge. I use a bit of cunning to 'steer' her towards some topics eg purposeful conversation, strewing of books, sending her links to look at via email, going on visits, watching orgs on TV. I do still have wobbley days when I make her do a maths worksheet so I have a vague idea of where she's at, but those days are getting fewer thankfully!

C x