Hoping to HE DD1 and want to be prepared for problems that may arise

[TyrannosaurusBex]

DD1 ( eldest of 3) is 8.4 and is just about to go into Y4. She has never liked school, never liked pre-school and just does not enjoy being with people she hasn't chosen to be with for most of the day, doing things that she isn't interested in/having to stop in the middle of doing things she is interested in.

She is bright and loves history, geography, science, ICT, French and RE and often works on her own projects at home. Her teacher says she is the best reader in her year and she happily spends her pocket money on books - however, her handwriting at school is poor (it's fine when she is working with DH and me at home, probably because she works at her own pace) and she often gets letters the wrong way round, avoids writing wherever possible and finds it extremely tiring

She has recently been diagnosed with Dyslexia - wrongly, in my opinion, as I believe she has Dysgraphia (I am a TA and Dyspraxic so I take an interest in this type of disorder). Initially we were told that she would not be given any support as there were too many other pupils with greater difficulties, but now the LEA has decided that she WILL have support for Dyslexia. However, I find it extremely troubling that she is going to receive help for the wrong disorder - nobody seems to have much knowledge of Dysgraphia locally.

My other issue is that as a TA I am stunned at the vast amount of time that is wasted in schools - I really do feel that I can do better at home. She loves going to museums, the library etc. and has a real thirst for knowledge, and I enjoy teaching. However, DH has a few reservations and I'm worried that when we hit the inevitable bumps in the road I won't be prepared or able to fight my corner!

DD1 and I have discussed HE and she is very keen to do it - her five good friends all live very close by and/or will be going to clubs with her, and we are good friends with all the families.

I have been reading a lot of HE threads on MN and do realise that much of the negative stuff is from people that don't actually HE - so I would love to know what problems HEers encountered, and how you overcame them? Also, does anyone who HEs regret it? All points of view welcome and much appreciated!

I was HE for almost half my schooling and loved it. I was given the responsibility to design my own timetable, manage my own workload etc and relished it - all good skills for later in life. PE was much more fun too!

Great to hear your positive experience - at what point did you decide to go back to school?

We have three children whom we home educated from the ages of 13, 11 and 8. All three had dsylexia/dyspraxia/dysgraphia to different degrees, and one had ADHD too.
At school and to begin with when home educating we went along with the structured work to help with their SEN.
It was a nightmare for us. It seemed like all of the problems of school now had come home but now it was their parents imposing the difficulties on them.
Instead we started out on a path of autonomous education, where we followed their own interests, and allowed their education to run ahead whilst waiting for the reading, spelling and writing to catch up.
We talked and talked and talked about everything and anything, for as long as the children wanted to. We went to workshops and gatherings, spent weeks in fields at HE camps and played games and generally lived life.
For us it worked, as it has for so many other families. All three are in Uni level education now, and doing really well and judged to be normal readers. One has a spelling ability above average and the other two are now only slightly below. Writing too has caught up beyond my wildest dreams although two of the children can't sustain it for long-a problem I now understand to be associated with their hypermobile joint problems. But with technology today, it has become less and less of a problem.

The only other downside has been we are on a very limited budget, as I gave up a more lucrative career to do this, and my dh is disabled. We've found that by buying things second hand on Ebay or Amazon/Carboots or at Charity shops we have managed to get the things we have needed. Home ed groups get activities at educational rates too-so save a fortune, so I really would advise finding your local group for this as well as the great socialisation and learning opportunities they offer.

None of the downsides weigh down the brilliant advantages though-the transformation from unhappy children to very happy self confident successful young adults is a joy to behold.

Thanks julie that's very helpful. DD hasn't been herself since she started school, other than the latter half of the summer hols when she seems to have 'decompressed' IYSWIM. Can't wait to get her back permanently.

I don't think we had "generic" EHE problems. Any issues were with individuals and to do with the way we lived our lives and EHE. The only general problem I can think of is to do with getting exams, uni entrance, etc. I'd suggest that you don't need to worry about that yet. The education system (as you know) is in constant flux and it is likely that any advice now will be seriously out of date in five or six years when it starts to be a pressing matter for your DD.

For the next three years, at least, I'd say that you should just get on with doing it in the way that suits your family and deal with issues as they arise.

Some people may tell you that every and any problem with your DD is down to her being EHE - but you already know that school is not a panacea.

My son is 19 and has never been to school. The main problem I had was resistance from other members of the family, not at the start, but at certain key points when they seemed to feel that some landmark achievement would have occurred or some key skill would have been acquired by that time if he'd been in school.

My solution - which would not be for everyone - was to make it clear that school was irrelevant because I didn't have the same goals and objectives as a school would have.

At primary school age I really can't recall any problems! Money somewhat, I suppose, but I would have been a SAHM for most of the time anyway - had long ago decided to stay at home until my youngest went to school - youngest is now nearly 10 and HE'd :) But nothing strictly speaking to do with HE.

Go for it :) It's not an irreversible decision, and this is an ideal time to give it a go.

Thanks, all this helps with my jitters!