Hi Unlurked, congratulations on making your decision. Of course you deserve your own thread!!
Have you been in touch with these folks? Edinburgh and Beyond Home Education Online Network Like many home ed groups, it says it's open to families with under-5s so I am sure you'd be quite welcome there.
I think it is a great idea to meet up with other HE families when your child is this age. It will help your dd to see there are other people doing the same thing so she won't feel left out as everyone begins to ask her whether she isn't looking forward to nursery/school. It can be a difficult time for children who are going to be home educated, as everyone is "talking up" what a great adventure nursery and school are. Your dd has great adventures ahead of her too, and joining a home ed group may help her to see that.
Because she'd gone to a HE group, my older daughter found these conversations easier. She knew that she too had plenty to look forward to, from home ed camps and museum trips to regular swimming sessions with her pals and many playdates with them. For her, the "deal-breaker" about school was that she wouldn't have easy access to older kids there. At the time, not one of her home ed friends would have been in her year group at school!
As for friendships with children going to school - my dd, who was desperately eager to play with other kids for many hours every day, found 3 and 4 a frustrating age. I think many of her schoolgoing peers were tired after a day at school, and had had their social "fix" for the day already. Besides, their parents wanted to spend time with them. There were fewer hours available in which to try to schedule a playdate. All these factors seemed to conspire against getting together with dd.
After the age of six these friendships began to pick up again, as they recovered from the tiredness. Children who struggled socially in some way at school often found it a relief to socialise with children who didn't attend their school. (You'll often find the advice here on mn to parents whose children are being ostracised or bullied at school that it may be helpful to make friends with kids who aren't at their school.)
However, we did always find it easier to keep friendships with other home educated kids. HE kids are simply more available. They have more time on their hands, so scheduling is easier. By and large, their parents are more willing. HE parents are more likely to prioritise playdates and make the extra effort to meet up, because their kids haven't already had time with friends at school. HE parents are more likely to be stay-at-home parents or part-time workers, which makes things simpler.
For a few years recently, my 12yo had a close friend who went to school, but that friendship has fallen by the wayside. Keen though the other girl was, she just doesn't have time. "Can I ask H to go bowling today? Oh no, that won't work, she's at school." She appears to be drowning under a mountain of homework. Since starting secondary school, the pressures of school have forced her to drop the two out-of-school activities which she and dd used to do together. "H is free to meet up with me a week from today, from 4:30 to 6 if I am willing to skip dance class." It's a world apart from her home ed friends - though they are busy too, it's never been so extreme! Now she spends most of her time with HE kids. I'm nudging my 6yo towards HE friendships too, because it makes my life easier and I expect these will be the friendships which last over time.
Oh, the other thing which makes our HE friendships easier to maintain is that the kids and parents keep running into each other at home ed activities. We are part of the same social circle. We don't have to make a special effort to keep in touch, it just happens naturally. I expect you'd get the same result with close neighbours, children of your own close friends, cousins, maybe members of a church group? The kids may fall out of the habit of playing together for a while, and then they run into one another and start up again.
Oops, that wasn't meant to be so long!