Finally, we have deregistered! (Huge sigh of relief).

[ToffeeWhirl]

I never meant to home educate DS1 (12) and I have tried everything to keep him in the system, but he is just a square peg in a round hole and school makes him ill. Now that I have finally sent off the letter and made it all official, I feel really excited. I told him that his summer holiday starts today . Now he can just relax and I can start planning what we're going to do come September. We are going for a more structured approach (sorry to all you regular autonomous home edders ) because it suits us both. But I'm aiming to keep Fridays free for whatever we want to do - visits to museums, projects, long dog walks, etc.

My only concerns at the moment are:

1. How I'm going to persuade DS2 to stay at school (he's already asking to come out and I'd actually love to home educate him too, but DH and family are not supportive. He is actually fine at school, whereas DS1 has SNs).

1. How I'm going to get any time to myself at all .

But I'm so looking forward to doing fun stuff with DS1, instead of having to nag him to do work which is dull and meaningless to him. If all he gains from the next few years with me is to regain a love of learning, then I will have done my job. (Although gaining a few qualifications would be good too ).

Any tips on setting up are very welcome!

Hi, tree. I'm planning ordering 'Handwriting without Tears' from Sonlight (sorry, can't link at the moment) and getting DS to do a page a day or something.

And yes, deregistering is exciting! I was up in the early hours this morning, reading websites on home educating and looking at books to order. I have managed to tame my urge to splash out on loads of workbooks and courses (bearing in mind the advice of more experienced home edders), but there are still lots of books and CDs I'm planning to get for my home ed library . We won't have to spend any money on PE kits, uniforms or school lunches anymore, so the money can go on this instead.

Maybe we should start a thread for those of us just setting out on home educating? We could swap tips and encourage each other. And help each other through the difficult days (and I know there will be some of those).

That's a great idea ToffeeWhirl - although we cost ourselves a fortune

I have a daily battle with ordering entire workbook collections and random resources. Currently I am after the entire Galore Park books and answer books and also some lovely maths resources. Mainly a base 10 set like I had at school

We are totally broke and actually facing financial aramgeddon so this is Not Good!

I am struggling with the daily battle against over-ordering as well, tree. So far, I have imagined ordering the whole year's work from Sonlight (attracted by the learning-through-literature idea, not by the creationist Christian bit ), ordering English, Maths and History modules from Little Arthur, ordering courses from Oxford Home Schooling or getting a load of textbooks from Galore Park. This is in spite of the fact that I know, from experience with DS1, that he doesn't like sitting down and going through workbooks.

Finally, after many hours fantasising about spending time poring over textbooks with an eager child, I faced up to the fact that my son is not that child. I was; he isn't. So I have drastically cut down on my ambitions. I already have Galore Park for English and Maths and will probably add Science and the very useful Study Skills (which should stand DS in good stead for a good few years). I think I will also order Sonlight's one-year module on world history and geography, as this involves reading aloud to DS, which both of us enjoy. And I will order the handwriting book.

I have lots of other subjects on my mental list, but I'm not structuring any of them. They include languages, art and design, music, touchtyping (I have a Nessy programme on CD which DS1 has steadfastly refused to use, but I still have hope), cookery, ICT, blogging (covering art, writing, ICT, etc), philosophy (I have a great children's book I'm already reading to DS - I bought it after he started asking me some really philosophical questions and I wanted to give him fuller answers than mine) and exercise in the form of swimming and dog walking. Would really like to get DS involved in a class of some sort, but I think we are some way off that at the moment.

I wrote down a timetable, but I know it won't work. I think a checklist of roughly what we should cover would be better.

I have a very strong feeling that any experienced home edders will read the above and chuckle knowingly to themselves. But I really do know home educating is not going to be straightforward and that it is not going to involve DS sitting down at the table happily each day, eager to begin work. Honestly, I do. From the experience I've had with DS so far (and I have been, effectively, home educating him on and off for a couple of years, even though he has remained on the school roll), I imagine it will involve flexibility, patience, listening and an awful lot of instinct. I know I will make mistakes. I know we will sometimes drive each other mad. Yet I am still absolutely certain that we are doing the right thing - in fact, the only possible thing that we can do now.

Sorry you are broke, tree. I hope things improve soon. I know how wretched that feels.

lindy - I think my DS would live in Minecraft if I let him. It's such an addictive game. Am hoping to somehow incorporate it into our home learning (eg, building virtual pyramids if we study the Egyptians).

Ooooh at your purchases!

I think the books are comforting. I think they help us feel on our game, that things are ok, they give us something to compare our children to. I bet when we are in the groove we won't use them, but for now they are a crutch for me anyway.

Having said that I only have one and haven't done a days HEing as yet

I downloaded a free curriculum from somewhere or other that I then try to tally up with the Galore Park junior maths (I love that book). It passes time for me and stops me worrying! I agree that a timetable probably won't work, but if it makes you feel like you are planning and on your game then why not have one. You can always break your own rules any time you like.

I reckon the reality for me will be dd finds learning inbetween preschool runs and watching me mop the floor! We are indeed broke and what I should be doing is increasing my hours at work to fund our family - not being part time. I wish I could not work and focus on her properly. The childcare and shifts are going ot be a right royal nightmare. I worry about that a lot. I can't change it either, which is a jagged pill indeed.

Hey ho. Have you got in touch with any local HE folk? I am in email contact with some, but of course havan't been able to meet any yet as dd has been in school for all the meet ups. I guess we'll get going in Sept.

We only have 5 days of school left. Then schools out for summer ever!

Haven't bought them yet, tree. Still in the dreaming stage.

Will pop back once I have DS1 in bed. He is lingering, waiting for his bedtime story.

No prob - am off to bed myself. Might catch up tonight and if not tomorrow.

OK, am back. Sorry to miss you, tree.

I agree with you that the books are comforting and feel necessary at this stage, before we have gained confidence in what we are doing. Same with the timetable.

Sorry you have money worries . Increasing your work hours might be the financially savvy thing to do, but you can't do that at the expense of your DD's well being, so you are making the right choice by being at home with her. It is a pain that you have shifts that make childcare tricky and I hope you find a way of making this easier for yourself. I effectively gave up work when DS1 became ill last December (school made him ill). I had been doing some freelance work before then and assumed I would be increasing my workload once he was back at school full time. Then it all went pear-shaped.

How old is your DD, by the way? At least it sounds as if GCSEs are a long way off for you.

I have deregistered dd(14) after disastrously bad year. I took her out a couple of weeks ago as it was all just getting out of hand - the school didn't acknowledge my letter for a week, but then I found a sad message she had written in an exercise book about how dire things were in the school, so I sent that to the head cc'd to the council and suddenly wheels started rolling. So she's formally deregistered now and it's lovely to watch her start to believe that the hell is finally over. She starts interhigh in sept and is really looking forward to it.

I'm not sure if I have actually deregistered DD but she isn't going back.

I gave a term's notice to her prep school because we were trying to move areas and I wasn't sure we were getting enough return on investment for our fees. They sent me a form which said that they needed to know where she was going next so they could report that to the Ed dept. I filled it in and said our plans were unclear due to the move but that we were holding two school offers (true at the time). Since then we've decided to give HE a go. Hence I'm not sure where we stand. I'll probably send them a letter just to be sure.

I intend to HE so that I can sort out an eye exercise programme for DD's convergence insufficiency and work on some of her organisation issues (she's dyspraxic, dysgraphic and dyslexic as well).

We'll be quite structured. I think I'm going with galore park for maths. Haven't found an English programme to follow yet. DH is teaching her French and music. I want to reach her Latin as I've found it useful to have a basic grasp of Latin.

I'm letting her choose history and geography topics. For sport I've found a trampolining club through a local HE group and there's an indoor athletics session for HE children which she will try. PE has been one of the problems for her. A dyspraxic child and a traditional prep school with compulsory hockey, lacrosse and netball from year 3 do not make a happy mix!

DD is 10 btw. I'd be up for joining a HE newbue support thread. I alternate between thinking this is fantastic and terrifying.

It's very comforting to know I'm not alone!

Burmac - I'm sorry your DD has had such an awful year. How heartbreaking for you to find that note . I looked into Interhigh for DS and was very impressed by it. There are threads on MN by people who have used it and got on well with it - have you seen them? I didn't pursue it for DS because it didn't appeal to him and he needs one-to-one, flexible teaching, but I can see how it would work well for the right children.

Helenagrace - it's good that you will be able to provide your DD with the specific help she needs, as well as a great range of subjects. I'm sure she will thrive. You sound more than capable. Hopefully, she will make new friends through the HE group. Will she still be in touch with her old friends, or will that be tricky because of the move?

Oddly, I'm not terrified at all. I think that is because, for me, this has been a long time coming. I first took DS1 out of school in Year 6, but we always intended him to go to secondary school. Having him at home for a year gave me some experience of home ed and built up my confidence. The experience of secondary school was, unfortunately, so damaging for DS that that is a far more terrifying option to me now than home education. It took him several months before he could even leave the house because he was in such a state of anxiety. He is improving now and I'm sure home ed is the right thing for him.

I would be happy to start up a thread for newbies. There seem to be quite a few of us starting out. I was thinking of starting one in September, but actually it might be more useful to start it over the summer, so that we can swap tips on our plans and purchases. I could bump it up the list if it goes too quiet over the holidays.

Who else would find this useful? Colleger? morethanpotato? tree? burmac? Helen? Hopeful some of the more experienced home edders could pop in and tell us where we're going wrong sometimes too...

I'd love to pop in and out - though there is no way I'd be able to tell you what you're doing wrong! I'm still working out what works for us - we've been HE for 3 years now.

I'd also find it useful as I've discovered so many other things I didn't know were out there through reading these threads.

I'd be honoured to pop in and out if you wanted, though I think you lot all know what sort of hardline opinionated input I tend to shove in where it's not necessarily wanted or needed :o

That would be briliant, Emandlu and ommmward .

Ommm - your posts make me smile. I might need some of that after my initial enthusiasm has worn off...

Hello all.

Yep, still up for a thread. There is also a closed MN fb page for mners - there is a thread for it knocking about.

Helengrace - did you not like the Galore Park Scince and English books? I haven't seen them but I would like to. Just can't afford them as yet.

Hopeful some of the more experienced home edders could pop in and tell us where we're going wrong sometimes too...

I tend to stick my nose in when HE is mentioned (too many times apparently according to someone who sent me a PM)

Only time I tell people they are wrong is when someone suggests HE isn't right-or most often when someone says autonomous HE isn't a valid way of educating a child.

But if you have a thread and I have something relevant to contribute, it's hard to shut me up

Glad you're up for it, tree. I'm not on FB, so can't join in with that, I'm afraid. I have the Galore Park English book for DS and it's very good, I thought. Worth saving up for, tree.

julienoshoes - We'll be happy for you to 'stick your nose' in to our newbies thread . You and I have had such a different lead in to home educating, I notice. Am I right in thinking you found out about home educating on a Friday and deregistered all three of your children on the following Monday - thereby avoiding the painfully protracted process I have just endured for the past two years? Your story of how your DC thrived in HE is inspiring. I think it's reading stories like yours over the past couple of years that have gradually whittled away my fears about stepping outside the system.

Another vote for noses being stuck in

I'll be savign for the English book too, I keep an eye out on Ebay too.

We made a really quick decision to HE, it was thought of one week, discussed for about 20 mins the next and the the letter went in a couple of days later. It was my mum who actually just brought it up as a viable option. She said I'd be great at it adn dd would love it. Very simple and straight forward when put like that!

I am not going to formally teach dd over the suumer and winter I am going to formally teach myself . I have absolutely no recollection of being taught all the rules of spelling and grammar and so on My own spelling is rubbish, I do not know the rules of grammar and I need to raise my game. My posts will be littered with spelling mistakes I don't know are there.

Maybe a Galore Book on Latin should be on the list!

I'm surprisingly unfazed by the idea of HE, I think the fear of childcare and finances is overshadowing it!

How lovely that your mum is so supportive, tree .

I agree with you about the summer being for us to teach ourselves. This is DS1's 'deschooling period' (not long enough, probably), so I won't be suggesting any 'workish' things to him.

It's good that you are unfazed by the idea of HE. I hope you can sort something out about childcare and finances in time for you to be able to enjoy home ed without those worries overshadowing you.

I really like GP Latin but I'm not keen on the English. It was fine at first but it gets quite repetitive. There are 2 Latin courses: I haven't used Latin Prep but the So You Really Want to Learn is very rigorous. We tend to combine it with Cambridge Latin as that' more interesting but doesn't teach the grammar very logically.

Good luck to all those of you new to HE - it's an amazing journey!

Toffeewhirl yes. Found out one Friday evening (15th January 2001-not that it wasmomentous or anything ) and the dereg letter went in the next school day.
I was desperate for an alternative though-my son wanted to die because of his life in school. He'd had yet another problem that day, when he was thrown out of class for asking for and then searching for left handed scissors. He came home so upset, I started searching again.
I didn't realise at that point that my youyngest was suicidal too-at eight years old......

treedelivery, my spelling is not good either-but then I went to school!

Thanks for the good luck wishes, Tinuviel.

julieno - your poor sons . My oldest says he'll kill himself if he has to go back. We have promised him we will never make him go back.

tree I have looked at the Galore Park English books but I haven't heard good reports about them. DD's confidence in writing is only just recovering three years after a serious bit of parent on child bullying (parent photocopying her entry in the class bear book, showing it to everyone in the playground and inviting them to comment on what the problem might be). I need to get the English course spot on so I'm still looking.

Ultimately I want to get her touch typing and hope that her diagnosis will enable her to type exam answers for public exams.

Some of the nicest support I've had has been from the staff at the school where I'm Chair of Governors. I have had resources freely offered and lots of encouraging praise and encouragement. I'm really relieved. It's a lovely infant school and DS is thriving there. DD was really happy there. Then she went to the junior school next door...

I have seen the threads - it was my DD who found interhigh and I was dead against it but I said if she ended the year still unhappy I'd reconsider and in reality things got a lot worse so I m keeping my promise. I am nervous about it but it's far more important to get her back to feeling in control of her learning and let her take some responsibility. I do worry about using the Internet as the core medium for learning - but she follows some very interesting young musicians on YouTube who are independently forging successful careers and collaborating to make music across the world, writing their own books etc etc - so she's quite certain it can work for GCSEs

Love the idea of a thread

Helen - that's so shocking! What on earth was the parent thinking of? I don't understand the motivation. Your poor DD.

How lovely that you are getting so much support from the infant school. It sounds like that will be an ongoing source of support and encouragement for you.

burmac - it seems like your DD is well motivated to use Interhigh to her advantage - I hope it works out well for her. Glad you like the idea of a support thread.

We deregistered in April after after a couple of years being messed around EA..my 13 year old son who has aspergers is alot happier now ....no meltdowns .......he had them every day before......best thing ever for us......i have MS so being screwed up by EA was not an option health had to come 1st for all the family ...........