Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Finally, we have deregistered! (Huge sigh of relief).

76 replies

ToffeeWhirl · 11/07/2012 18:11

I never meant to home educate DS1 (12) and I have tried everything to keep him in the system, but he is just a square peg in a round hole and school makes him ill. Now that I have finally sent off the letter and made it all official, I feel really excited. I told him that his summer holiday starts today Grin. Now he can just relax and I can start planning what we're going to do come September. We are going for a more structured approach (sorry to all you regular autonomous home edders Blush) because it suits us both. But I'm aiming to keep Fridays free for whatever we want to do - visits to museums, projects, long dog walks, etc.

My only concerns at the moment are:

  1. How I'm going to persuade DS2 to stay at school (he's already asking to come out and I'd actually love to home educate him too, but DH and family are not supportive. He is actually fine at school, whereas DS1 has SNs).
  1. How I'm going to get any time to myself at all Hmm.

But I'm so looking forward to doing fun stuff with DS1, instead of having to nag him to do work which is dull and meaningless to him. If all he gains from the next few years with me is to regain a love of learning, then I will have done my job. (Although gaining a few qualifications would be good too Wink).

Any tips on setting up are very welcome!

OP posts:
Colleger · 11/07/2012 18:21

I think you should give it a year before even considering taking your other child out. Get to know your eldest and how he really ticks and spend much needed time with him. If you feel relaxed then your youngest can follow.

Good luck, my 11 year old started HE on the 4th July- Independence Day! Grin

throckenholt · 11/07/2012 18:25

Give your older DS a bit of time before considering whether to do it with the younger one too. It will lovely for you to have some time together on your own. Your DS is now getting to the age when he can easily be left to get on with things by himself, so you should get some time to yourself as well.

Once your DH sees how much better your DS is at home he will become more relaxed about the whole thing. It is just the fear of the unknown that makes people wary.

Enjoy :)

ommmward · 11/07/2012 18:26

A thousand congratulations to you!

I'd almost go the other way, and whip Ds2 out at the same time - you could all deschool (and learn to rub along together) in one painful but efficient process rather than over a period of a couple of years...

tips on setting up: investigate all the local amusements for the ones with the most mileage, and the ones with the best season ticket deals...

Emandlu · 11/07/2012 18:31

Congratulations.

Time to yourself comes once you've muddled through the settling in time.

I now get tuesday afternoons to myself (kids go to music) and if we go into town the kids take themselves off to either the library or games workshop. I got to have a child free cuppa with a mate the other day Grin.

Colleger · 11/07/2012 18:55

I can get loads of time to myself. If I mention the computer then I wouldn't see them for 16 hours, not even to come down for food! Sigh...

Colleger · 11/07/2012 18:56

Lol ommmward at painful but efficient! Grin

ToffeeWhirl · 11/07/2012 21:17

I didn't expect such a welcome - thank you!

Ommmward - luckily, I don't have the option of trying your painful but efficient method! But I will follow your advice about investigating local attractions.

Colleger - good advice about spending time with the oldest first. Congratulations on starting out on HE also. Like you, I could get all day to myself if I left DS1 on the computer (tempting Hmm).

throck - yes, I can see that family attitudes might change if they see how I get on with DS1 at home (had better do a good job).

Emand - there is hope for time to myself then? I look forward to that!

Can I just ask if anyone keeps records and, if so, in what form? I was thinking of keeping a brief daily diary and photos - for myself and DS1 to look at one day, as well as to show any family members if they doubt that DS is still getting an education. I know that the LEA have no rights to see anything, but I really like our local LA officer and she has been tremendously supportive of our decision, so it would be useful to have a record to show her too.

OP posts:
ThreadWatcher · 11/07/2012 21:24

Ditto what Ommward said - huge congratulations from me too :)

Before deciding things such as Friday is outing day etc you might want to investigate what other local HErs do socially - where you live there are probably quite a few options.
'Hanging' with other HErs is fun and is the one time I dont feel like the odd one out. They will have lots of ideas and suggestions about all things HEd.

Re getting time to yourself - once you dc have got school out of their systems (could take a few months, most dc go a bit 'crackerpot' when you first take them out) and you have started doing 'your thing' (be it structured or not) you will probably find they will be more than happy to entertain themselves/himself when he isnt 'working'/when you are not doing stuff with him. Kids need a break too!

I find that when we are done with 'work' mine zip off to do whatever they have planned. Mine are great at entertaining themselves (too good sometimes!) but after a few days of no 'work' they do start to get a bit restless to 'do something' that I have dreamt up. (anything I get them to do is 'work' according to them even if it is mess about with a weaving loom!!)

I took both my dc out of school at the same time with the logic that if it was good for one it was good for the other!

Colleger · 11/07/2012 21:57

I don't know where you live but there is a flexi school in Herts that runs from 10:30-4pm on a Thurs and Fri and I think there is one that runs on a Wednesday in Berkshire. I'll be sending my son to at least one of the sessions every week so that's my day off sorted!

morethanpotatoprints · 11/07/2012 22:36

Congratulations, sorry no tips as we have only just sent letter in ourselves. I can suggest you keep up to date and gain free resources from the tes website. It has proved great value to me and I have down loaded resources for the whole ks, whether I'll need them or not.
Good luck.

Colleger, many congrats to you too, I had no idea you had gone for it.

ommmward · 11/07/2012 22:46

I keep very careful records, as all the MN-HE regulars know.

Any time a child produces something they are particularly proud of, they insist on sticking it up on the wall as KidArt. Gradually, the blutac wears off, or new pieces of crap KidArt supersede the old ones. At that point, the discards are shoved in a big reusable carrier bag on a hook on the kitchen door. When said bag is full to bursting, it is shoved on a large shelf to form a fire hazard be the educational record for the court to look at, should the LA ever want to claim our children are not receiving an education.

We do a certain amount of sending letters/postcards to family now. I bet my sentimental old mother keeps them all, so there's evidence of literacy and stuff there.

And an entire online career as an animator is in evidence for one of my children, for anyone who knows the relevant username on miniclip sketchstar :o

Colleger · 11/07/2012 22:50

You are so funny ommmward

ToffeeWhirl · 11/07/2012 23:09

Threadwatcher- Hello again Smile. I would love to try some local home ed things, but, so far, I can only find things that are quite a distance away and DS1 won't travel. Am keeping an eye on the relevant Yahoo thread, though, and I hope that one day, when DS has built up his confidence, there will be something that motivates him enough to want to go.

Colleger - that sounds like a great idea. We are in Sussex, so no good for us, sadly, and DS wouldn't go to any school of any kind anyway.

morethan - congratulations to you too! I subscribe online to the TES website and find their resources very useful. Good idea to check out KS stuff on there, thanks.

ommm. That sounds similar to my general filing system for household bills and children's artworks Grin. But I am going to be a new person when I home educate Hmm.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 12/07/2012 07:28

We have exercise books - we bought a bundle from amazon. We keep one for each subject area. Not everything goes in them, a lot of what we do is verbal or on scraps of paper, but enough goes in there to be a useful record and a useful resource to look back on and go over things. And handy to show the doubters when they think you aren't doing anything :)

PositiveAttitude · 12/07/2012 08:49

Congratulations Toffee. I know it has been a long hard road to get to where you are now. Enjoy the long summer holidays, and wishing you the best for everything. Smile

Tinuviel · 12/07/2012 11:00

Hi Toffee, if you're going down the structured route, you might be interested in joining this forum alittlebitofstructure.webs.com/ where you can from other people's mistakes!! - great resources links and lots of advice from other structured/semi-structured families.

ToffeeWhirl · 12/07/2012 14:29

PA - You have been such a help with your advice and reassurance over the last couple of years - thank you. Am looking forward to following your adventure, as we embark on our own. Wink Smile

throck - that's a great idea, except that DS1 hates writing! However, I have been printing out the work he's done with the LEA e-learning programme and I'm going to continue to keep a record by printing out his work. Am also going to get him practising handwriting once a day - just five minutes or ten minutes each time - so that will be a record too.

Tinuviel - I have joined that forum, but haven't had a chance to look at it in detail yet. Thanks for the tip. Great idea to learn from other people's mistakes, although I'm sure we will still make plenty of our own.

Am really enjoying the research stage I'm on at the moment: exploring different courses, borrowing relevant books from the library, planning storage and so on. I just feel so happy that it's all up to me and DS1 now and nobody can tell us what we should be doing.

Smile
OP posts:
throckenholt · 12/07/2012 14:50

I have a DS who hates writing and 2 others who aren't all that keen :) They still all get to write some stuff in their books because I think handwriting is a fundemental skill so they have to learn it whether they want to or not.

throckenholt · 12/07/2012 14:51

and they might as well learn it writing something useful and interesting (at least that is what I tell them :).

ToffeeWhirl · 12/07/2012 15:03

Yes, I agree, throck. We are waiting for an OT assessment for DS because handwriting hurts him and his writing is appalling not very good, so I haven't been pushing him much over the last year. I hope the OT will be able to recommend different ways for DS to hold his pen so that it's not painful. Even so, he could manage a little bit of writing every day and I'm sure the practise will help.

I quite like the idea of getting him to write out a short poem or something similar each day, so that he is absorbing good literature, as well as practising handwriting skills.

OP posts:
ToffeeWhirl · 12/07/2012 15:04

Although, in reality, he will probably end up writing about Minecraft Wink.

OP posts:
throckenholt · 12/07/2012 16:33

It is tractors in our case :)

ToffeeWhirl · 13/07/2012 09:13

Grin, throck. Bet you enjoy that! Wink

OP posts:
lindy20 · 14/07/2012 07:33

Yes my son loves minecraft aswell.........

treedelivery · 14/07/2012 13:44

toffeewhirl - we have a similar issue with handwriting, my dd is younger though. We are going to be a little structured too.

We did 'write from the start' with dd, well, it's still ongoing. We have noticed an improvement Smile but it might be too easy and too young for your big strapping lad! It has been interesting seeing how some of the patterns are no problem for her, and others baffle her. The is one where you have to draw a circle in a square, making sure the circle touches all 4 sides. The challenge continues Grin
We are also about to buy a writing slope as I have heard great things and she is learning touch typing. School gave her a pencil grip although they never told us Hmm and I'm musing with the idea of a seat wedge for her to sit on. These things are all aimed at improving posture which will often directly impact on writing.

I hope your OT referral comes soon.

Congratulations on deregistering. Isn't it exciting?