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Hold my hand; DD1 starts college on Monday

6 replies

musicposy · 29/06/2012 23:27

Ok, she starts properly in September, but they have them in for two weeks to bridge the gap between GCSEs and their A level courses. I personally don't think she will need any gap bridging. The IGCSEs have had plenty of material well into the AS level syllabus. College talk about them being in charge of their own learning and responsible for this and that; I think she's a little worried she's going to be treated like a child when she's been so independent for so long. It's not compulsory to do these two weeks but I think she feels if she doesn't everyone else will know their way around etc.

It's going to be so weird next week with just DD2 and I at home. In fact, DD2 will be all alone Monday morning as I teach in school. Up until now it's been her and DD1. I can't hold DD1 back; she wants to go and it's not for me to make her choices. Besides, she's ready and should love it.

But goodness me, it's going to be hard for DD2 and I. All these years we've all been at home together. Neither DD2 or I are looking forward to it. DD2 went through a phase of constant crying over not wanting DD1 to go. She's been more stoical lately, but tells me she is still feeling very sad over it. She is worried DD1 will change once she gets to college, not be her closest friend and ally any more, grow away from us all and that worries me too. But I know I have to let her go.

Feeling that DD1 is no longer home educated is very strange indeed. Those of you on here whose children went off to further or higher education, how was it? Did the rest of you adjust OK?

I'm working all weekend so it's not like I'm even going to see her much before Monday. I guess I will just need to adjust. Sad

OP posts:
Saracen · 30/06/2012 00:35

Ah (hugs). I haven't been in your shoes but I'm not looking forward to it when it happens - we have a seven-year age gap so dd1 is bound to be launching herself off into the world in some way long before dd2 is ready to do without her.

Good luck. I hope that you and your dd2 will find the adjustment easier to make than you expect.

magicmutt · 30/06/2012 09:35

I haven't been in your shoes either, but what strikes me is what a close relationship your DDs obviously have with each other and you with your DDs too. Even if your oldest DD does need to spread her wings a bit now, that strong relationship will always be there.

Can you think up some really special things for you and DD2 to do together to keep yourselves busy and console you during DD1's practise time away (as well as in September)? Can you surprise DD2 with a favourite film or book, or go out somewhere to distract you both? And then you'll both have the fun of welcoming DD1 back and, hopefully, hearing all about her first few days.

SDeuchars · 30/06/2012 13:20

Not the same (because of the ages) but my DD is just finishing her second year at uni, 2 hours' train travel from us. DS was stoical about it and I was ready for her to go (at slightly over 18). They are still good friends and we are off to a wedding next week near her uni house, so DS will stay with her while I stay with a friend. Although we are not together on a daily (or even weekly) basis, we can still talk to each other. Things have changed but it is so much better than it was for me when I left to go to uni. I think HE has helped to create a bond that is strong enough to last.

This week, DS and I go to look at a uni for him for Sept 2013. At that time, I'll be completely HE-child free. :( (in some ways!)

Betelguese · 30/06/2012 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

musicposy · 02/07/2012 19:10

Thank you for all your replies; they've been really encouraging.

DD1 has texted me to say she really enjoyed her day (has gone straight to ballet so I won't see her until about 9pm but she sounded happy). Our day has gone along quite nicely. I've been busy working but in between DD2 has chatted to me constantly, unfettered by her sister wanting attention!

I'll probably have another wobble in September, but I think it will be fine :)

OP posts:
Saracen · 02/07/2012 22:32

Ah good, I'm pleased to hear that the day went well!

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