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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

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Original poster

Reception before HE?

13 replies

chocolatecrispies · 24/06/2012 19:30

I am almost 100% sure we will HE ds who will be 4 in July. Reasons being many, but particularly I am very convinced by the benefits of informal learning and autonomous education, particularly for ds who has never liked doing things planned by others, but always takes his own way. I also want to avoid early reading lessons as I don't think he will be ready to read for years. We have been offered a place at our local school reception - it is actually on our street - it is an early years unit with mixed nursery and reception classes, free flow etc, and they have surprised me by saying he can 'settle in' at his own pace which means part time until at least Christmas and probably afterwards. Reasons to send him would be that all the children he knows are going, we might make some more friends to keep up with once we are HE, it is free play and so is in tune with my ideals of informal learning, and dd (who is 1) would have some time to go to toddler groups and have some one on one time. Then we would take him out at the end of reception. However I don't know how realistic this is and part of me doesn't want him to go to school at all. Will I be pressured to keep him in school? Will it be hard to leave once we start? And has anyone done this? Any thoughts welcome. He is currently at playgroup 4 mornings a week which is okay but all his friends are leaving for school or nursery.

OP posts:

FionaJNicholson · 24/06/2012 20:16

he might not like the idea of leaving, once he's started. that's one of the reasons I resolved to home educate from the start (though as it turned out I had a maverick iconoclast who would've tunnelled his way out with a spoon every day anyway)

Original poster

chocolatecrispies · 24/06/2012 23:05

He's pretty keen to leave preschool! But you're right, that is something to consider.

OP posts:

Original poster

chocolatecrispies · 24/06/2012 23:07

I think I should add that one other motivation is that our most local HE group is for children of 5 and over only, so it feels like we will be in a bit of a void next year if he doesn't start reception, as we can't start the HE group until July 2013.

OP posts:

morethanpotatoprints · 25/06/2012 14:05

Chocolatecrispies.

Fiona definitely has a point. Our dd will be coming out of school at the end of this term. She is y3 and has attended since reception. She has made good friends, settled well, and enjoys school. It has taken us as a family along time to come to a decision. The benefit is she has 2 friends one from pre school / school and another from school/dancing who will definitely keep in touch. It is a much harder decision when they are happy at school. Oh, in case you are wondering dd has dreams she wants to fulfil and the school day is too long to fit it all in. Also, I have issues with learning and the curriculum. Her school is absolultely brilliant though for most dcs

Tiredmomof2 · 25/06/2012 14:48

My DD did pre-school and I delayed the start of it as I just didn't feel she was ready but "knew" I needed to do it otherwise it was going to make settling at school harder. She then did school nursery five half days for the same reason "to make it easier to settle into school" she then did reception and always looked like a frightened rabbit. The beginning of Year 1 until Christmas was awful and even though she has finally "settled" her health and my stress levels have certainly paid the price! We are doing HE from September with her. Would I do it again? NO. I would go with a mothers instinct and HE from the beginning. I have this weekend got to explain to my DS, 9yrs, as to why little sis is coming out of school to HE but not him. It would have been so much easier if we had just done it from word go. The school is a great one and I am very involved and a parent governor. It is the right place for DS, but school is not the right place for DD.

Original poster

chocolatecrispies · 26/06/2012 23:22

Thanks Tiredmum, my maternal instinct definitely tells me school is not the right place for ds but everyone else tells me different! And school is oversubscribed so we will not be able to change our minds. Am hoping the LTTL conference and hesfes will help us make up our minds and just jump.

OP posts:

Tiredmomof2 · 27/06/2012 08:29

I think everyone tells you differently because that is the "norm". School is just a given that everyone does, it doesnot mean it is right for every child or family. My mom has said that even if she'd known of such a thing as Home Ed when I was young, even though it would have been the best thing for me, she would not have had the confidence to do it. I want to have that confidence for DD. School put me off formal education completely and I could not wait to leave at 16 even though I had the grades to go on to college etc. It meant that my career choices were limited beacuse of this decision as I had just had enough of formal education. Our school is also oversubscribed even though it takes 90 per year, in fact the whole borough is oversubscribed, I agree it does make it a tad more scary but people do move out of the borough as well as in so you may be able to pick up a place at a later stage if needed. Good luck with whatever you decide. I am now off to goggle LTTL as I have no idea what this is?

Colleger · 27/06/2012 09:48

You have to do what's right for you but you could be taking a school place away from a child with less options only to take your child out a year later.

Lyraedu · 27/06/2012 09:56

Yes I would if I were you. We're going to do similar with our youngest dc, the other children our home educated. We're going to be using a Montessori-type private nursery, and they have other home educators using it as a sort of flexi school place too.

Although, there is no attached Montessori primary or secondary for us to consider moving on to.

Lyraedu · 27/06/2012 09:56

are*

julienoshoes · 27/06/2012 09:59

I have a friend whose two oldest children were completely autonomously home educated and are now at Uni. He hopes that his child from his latest relationship will ultimately, will be the same. However for a variety of reasons, she is presently at what is one of the most pro HE schools in the country, with home ed children attending when they want to join in with some lessons and plenty of children flexischooling there.
However when we were chatting about it recently, he says that which ever way you look at it it's still a 'school' and has all of the inherent problems that schooling brings.....the diminished number of questions a small child asks, the learning to shut up and be quiet rather than delighting in education at their own pace etc.
On the plus side from observing his daughter, she's young enough to get much of that out of her system after a few days at HesFes........

and before anyone suggests I am anti school, I am very pro a family's right to choose what is best for their child, and that school suits many families.

But if I'd known then what I know now about autonomously home educating my children, in your position, I personally wouldn't have sent them at all.

I think in your shoes OP, I'd be contacting local families and seeing if anyone else was up for a under five (ish) meet up-that's what happens in our area, and now loads of families get together, and their children know it's normal for some children not to go to school.

Original poster

chocolatecrispies · 28/06/2012 11:05

Julienoshoes, what do you know now that you didn't know then? Thanks so much for that anecdote about your friend, it is really helpful.

I am doing exactly what you suggested - we met up with our first HE family last week in central London and I have meet ups arranged for the next two weeks - Facebook is a wonderful thing! Haven't found any really local families though.

I went to the school new parents meeting today and am now thinking that this reception thing is not going to work for us - there is phonics every day and they are set by ability from the start, reading books from week 3, maths, reading and writing lessons every week, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid and goes against everything I am learning about autonomous learning. Maybe staying another term in preschool playgroup would work just so dd can get a bit of space...

OP posts:

julienoshoes · 28/06/2012 15:22

I didn't know home education was a legal option until my children were desperate and I went looking for alternatives.
I didn't know then, that it is possible to get an education, informally, that would/could set you up for professional careers, without doing formal work.

If I known all of that, I would never have sent them to any formal schooling institution.

Staying at PreSchool sounds like a good option. Another thought-what about using a child minder for a few hours a week? There are I believe even HE friendly child minders to be found.

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