Considering home ed - how do you fit in the demands of a range of ages?

[issynoko]

My 8 year old, due to go into Year 4 in Sept, is very unhappy at school. Nice school, small rural one but she has no friends there - no-one she really clicks with - and is in tears most evenings about how lonely she feels. She is very bright and sensitive but has gone from a confident, happy child at school to withdrawn and miserable. Have talked to her head and she has noticed DD has stopped asking questions etc but has a 'all 8 year olds go through these phases' sort of approach. DH and I work from home and we are seriously considering HE for DD1. I think DS1 would also benefit - he is in Year 2 at the moment and is fine but not anywhere near as engaged at school as he is in his home projects. I think he would hate to be going to school if DD were at home - I know this isn't a reason to remove him but I am considering the dynamic and needs of our whole family. We also have DD2 who is 5 and going into Reception in the autumn. She loves her Nursery and is very lively - the hardest work of all the children and the one I think would make it hard to 'teach' the older two if she were at home too, but also we would struggle if she went to school without them - she is already the most out on a limb because she is too little for many of their joint games and the baby is too young to play with her. And there is DS2 who is 6 months old and on the move now...

I understand that the intensity of home ed means a couple of hours more 'formal' teaching would match - or more - a whole school day so I am not worrying about how to fit a typical school day into a home environment. But I am wondering how other HE parents manage the personalities and demands of a range of ages.

Any advice very welcome!

"But I am wondering how other HE parents manage the personalities and demands of a range of ages."

I only have the two children so I probably can't answer your question anyway... but I am not clear what you are asking. How to manage the personalities and demands of a range of ages... isn't that what you are already doing, in parenting these four? Or are you just thinking that if you have all four full time then it will be more full-on than it is now?

Are you planning to do lots of structured work and are worrying that you wont be able to give one attention when another child (or 3) are around?

Then you can either begin a system of turn taking with each child to get your 1 to 1 time, in which you first ensure each other child has access to an activity they enjoy, preferably in another room. But then what if they squabble or get into something they shouldn't? It also has the highest demands on your time. Another system is to get them all doing their work at the same time in different rooms and continually touring them all to offer help and encouragement. It could take a while for them to settle into this one and continue working when the adult leaves the room, but if you and dh did this at the same time, you'd get them settled faster. Trying this in the same room can lead to so many distractions that it can end up as noisy as a school classroom.
My favourite is differentiation. Everyone does the same thing at the same time, but at different levels. Eldest makes a batch of playdough, you point out that gluten makes it stretchy. Second eldest makes salt dough and makes a model to bake. The young ones get to play with playdough. The eldest looks up 5 facts about gluten on the net and does a written report (if you are into writing). You extend the activity by talking about allergies and next time you shop point out the gluten free products in the supermarket. You might talk about first aid needed for allergies and then persuade older children to join ST Johns, leading to voluntary work opportunities later on. Then eldest uses salt dough to make decorations to sell at next summer fete or Christmas fayre.

By playing with dough they are not missing out on their learning = choosing what to make/being proud of their creations and playing together is PERSONAL AND SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT. Chatting away whilst they play is COMMUNICATION AND LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT. Working out how big a lump of dough to pull off or fill a container with is PROBLEM SOLVING AND NUMERACY DEVELOPMENT. Making a model of a farm with dough is KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING DEVELOPMENT. All that fine motor and gross motor movement when they wave their worms around to make them fly is PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT. Finally that farm they made/any singing they do is CREATIVE DEVELOPMENT.

Hi and thanks. Yes I suppose I am wondering how I will give them all individual attention - while all are there at once. Mainly, my 4 year old is wonderful and super lively but shouts the loudest if you know what I mean. But they are in a school with disruptive children of course - it's different though when it's your little sister yet again. Also, the 4 year old loves nursery and I imagine will love reception too. But she will HATE being the only one to go to school - if we decide to do this. All food for thought though. Maggi's ideas are great. Thanks both.

My three are younger than yours, (6,3 and 6mths) and we're AEers so I'm not sure how relevant this will be.

Thus far, it is getting easier the older they get. In general, I just try to jump on any opportunity for one to one time as it arises. So, earlier DD2 and I sang nursery rhymes together while DD1 was watching X men and DD3 was asleep. Then DD1 and I tried out the new Reading Eggs app while DD2 was making DD3 laugh.

Ok, it is never very long at once, but they do each get lots of one to one time with me through the day (and even more time at weekends and in the evenings when DP is here).

And what maggi says about differentiation too, not that I have ever thought it through as clearly as she has!

A friend of mine who has four children points out that even though each child gets less parental attention than an only child would, each is still getting far more parental attention than if they and their three siblings were at school. Also, a fact which many people don't recognise is the tremendous amount of sibling attention that each child gets, how valuable that is. She says some people are horrified when she mentions that she almost never sat and read with her youngest. It isn't something the mum particularly enjoys doing, and there were always two fluent readers among the older siblings, one of whom really loved to read to her little sister and the other of whom could be persuaded to do so upon occasion.

I remember once when I was babysitting for that family, when one of the children organised her siblings and my own two children into a human model of the old London Bridge, complete with cantilevering. Then she explained the whole idea of cantilevering and why the bridge had developed that way. In a situation like that, you can see how sometimes adults are redundant!

We have homeschooled for three years now.

I separate my ten and six year old for the morning. We always start with math, and once my ten year old is set up, I concentrate on the six year old, and flit back and forth checking on them. If they have something they need explaining or any help while Im busy with the other one, they raise their hand and don't interrupt.

For literacy we also separate the two of them. I make sure the older one's work is all set up for her, and then hear the little one read, go through his spellings, and set him up with work. I then concentrate on the older child.

We come together for science experiments in the afternoon. I expect the younger one to draw diagrams, write a few sentences and make some observations. Whilst the older one has to produce a proper hypothesis, set up the experiment, and draw conclusions. For history, geography and Latin we do the same - the younger one will listen, but much less is expected of them. Sometimes they will do a project together - last week they made a Roman aquaduct which watered a mini garden they planted together.

My six year old finishes school 90 mins before the ten year old. That last 90 mins are used for subjects or teaching which is "over his head".