De-schooling questions

[morethanpotatoprints]

Ok, supposing we dereg at the end of this term.

1. Do we count the summer hols as part of this time. DD y3 has attended school for 4 years and has no bad experience from school. Does this mean that deschool is complete November?

1. During this time dd will be taking 2 music exams and having lessons both from outside (teachers) ,dh and me helping a bit. This is because her teachers do the instrumental bit and we do the other musical requirements as this lets teachers do technical instrumental teaching. How can we manage this properly if deschooling?

1. During de-schooling is it fair to say that if dd choses to work at maths for example on the computer it is ok as long as it is self directed.?

If she is the sort that finds it difficult to find things to occupy her is it ok to give a massive long list of suggestions covering lots of different things to get the ideas? So I don't have her asking me what she can do all the time.

Sorry for the long post.

1/I've seen people say "allow a month to deschool for every year spent in school" but to be honest I've never understood what it means

2/My son (now 19) has never been to school

3/From observation, many parents find it harder to get school out of their system than the children do

4/There aren't any rules for deschooling "properly"

5/You are quite likely to yo yo between "leaving her to it" and panicking that she is "not doing enough"

6/See point 3/ and 4/

Honestly, I think you're overthinking this! DS came out of school after 9 years of it, had the "summer holiday" off, and was ready and raring to go in September. If school has been a problem, either because the school way of doing things doesn't suit a child, or because of specific issues, then it's important to let the stress of that seep out gradually and not start pushing till they're ready - and that's where the idea of allowing plenty of time for deschooling is really important, as it gives parents and child "permission" to take things slowly. But if you don't feel she's stressed, then it's more about learning new ways of doing things, and both you and she can approach this however it works for you both.

If your DD is interested in music and enjoys it, then the lessons and exams are not going to be some horrible cause of stress for her. Likewise doing maths isn't stressful if she likes doing maths - it would only be stressful if you were pushing her into doing things because they are "the right things" for her to be doing. Stopping her from doing things she enjoys would be just as bad!

I'd let her do what she wants over the "summer holiday", whether that's maths on the computer, or things off a list of suggestions, or whatever works for both of you as a holiday. Then in the autumn you can focus a little more on what you hope she might achieve over the coming months and guide her activities (or not if you're wanting to go for a more autonomous route) and see how things progress - it'll be a learning experience for both of you, and you just need to take it as it comes and see what approach suits.

Thank you Fiona, I just didn't want our actions to create conflict with the de-schooling as we would want to try AE. I thought if we were instructing and helping her this would not be her learning rather us teaching.

Deschooling for Parents might be worth reading

Joyfully Rejoycing has some good point on the difference between teaching and learning for the AE -but her whole site is well worth exploring and gives lots of ansers!