alijoesmum Our ds was HE from the age of 13 (he had been 'let go') from his private school and there were no places locally. We did have a pt tutor for him to start with but he became very difficult for a couple of years (normal ado stuff). So he became an autodidact so much so that his inspector from the council said he knew more than most ADULTS let alone 15 yr olds (he is G&T). He also said he'd do the exams when he felt the need.
He hasn't done any (he's 25 now) BUT he's taken courses in music which he loves and teaching yoga to L.O.'s which he does peripatetically in varying schools. We do still help him with his rent (he's lucky with that) but he has a complicated life and is a dad to 2 DDs although he has a steady GF now.
You may say we over indulged him but he'd never been happy at schools and I just felt to FORCE him to do the normal thing woulD have been extremely damaging.
Everyone is different .I just thought I'd post to say it's not the end of the world if you HE older DCs. Good luck 