No more options... Looks like it's HE. Help please!

[worrywortisworrying]

My DS is 4.

He has a diagnosis of high functioning autism and high IQ (above 180 at least).

He was due to attend a prep school (selective) which turned him down. We decided to go with the state route, as he was allocated a local good school. They, too, have now rejected him. They will not take him in September. They will keep his place for him but not sure if / when they will be able to take him.

DS will stay at the nursery he attends, but it is that: Nursery. DS is very intellectual and needs stimulation, so there is no other route but HE.

Where do I start?

TIA.

Start with HIM - what he likes/is interested in. He is only 4 so no need to replicate school, just work with what he loves. (eg my DS loves physics so we have encouraged him to do writing (which he hates) and drawing (of circuits) and reading/maths through his interest. We do loads of other stuff too!

Oh and join your local HE group/s for support. One thing I have found helpful is to keep a 'learning diary' where I list every single 'educational' thing we have done that day - even on the least structured days, there's never been a blank page yet! :)

Thankyou Wolves - where would I find info on my local HE group?

educationotherwise.org
might help

Hi worrywort
I have read a few of your posts in the last few weeks. Your son sounds similar to mine who is now 10, who has a dx of aspergers and is also bright.
I think HE could be great for you - it is for us! I took my two dc out of school three years ago after one particularly bad year at school (the previous years were ok)
Once your ds is 10 you can get him to fill out the Mensa home test to find out his IQ score for a fee of £10. mensa home test (it does actually say you can do it with a younger child but the result wont fully show the childs potential).
Ds did this recently and it was well worth £10 to find out for sure what his iq is (rather than guessing, which I had been doing for years!)

If you home educate from the start you will save your son from the trauma of school that my ds experienced. Three years on he still gets angry and tearful about what happened (and he didnt even experience any bullying!)

Welcome to the happy world of home education! :)

I feel so sad right now.

It's not the HE that really gets me (though I was looking forward to thinking about going back to work) it's the rejection of my DS.

How come even the state sector can just say 'no' before he's even got there? I do wish, in a way, I'd not been as open and honest as I have been as I feel I've given them enough rope to hang me with.

How can no one want to help my DS? He's such a lovely lovely boy. Can't stop the tears right now. I've failed him so bloody badly.

Oh it is heartbreaking i know.

However you haven't failed him, you are still there right beside him, looking for the right way forward. You haven't given up.

There are plenty of us home educating our ASD children.

There is a website Home Education Special Needs and they have an associated email support group and plenty of people there, who have experienced the same as you, and can offer great support and advice.

and there is a fabulous book that I can heartedly recommend called Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children: Paths are made by walking by Terri Dowty and Kit Cowlishaw.

"Mainstream educational provision for children on the autistic spectrum can be inadequate or inappropriate. An increasing number of parents dissatisfied with the education system are looking elsewhere for an approach that will suit their children's needs. In "Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children", parents who have chosen to home educate their children with autism or Asperger's syndrome candidly relate their experiences: how they reached the decision to educate at home, how they set about the task, and how it has affected their lives. Following these personal accounts, the final chapters offer practical advice on getting started with home education, legal advice from an expert in education law, and contact details of support organisations"

Dry your tears, and come and join us, I'd be willing to bet it'll turn out to be the best possible path for your son.

JUlie thank you.

It's not so much that I don't want to HE (I actually think it's the best thing for him in the circs), it's the fact that even the state system can simply say 'NO'. Surely that's no legal? Why can they simply say, no... Your son can't come to our school. I hate them for it. I hate that they can simply turn my DS away because he might cause them a bit of stress.

I cannot access any help or support if I HE, because I should use mainstream, but mainstream won't take him. He's 4. FFS! He doesn't deserve to be treated like this and I need to grow a pair and start shouting.

Surely this is not legal?

oh and if you are a FaceBooker, then there is a FB page for Home Educating our Special Needs children although that is much newer and smaller than the HE Special Needs support group.

Thanks. Have requested to join. x

I don't think it's legal, I think the LA has an obligation to find him a suitable place....my worry would be that what the LA would consider to be suitable, may well not be what you would agree to.

Join the email support group, and ask advice on there.

I'd expect FionaJNicholson will be along soon, and may be able to shine more of a light on the legal details.

worrywortisworrying you've requested to join the email support list or the FB page? if it's the latter tell me what your profile pic or timeline pic looks like and I'll join you immediately

The FB page. My Profile pic is my face (god help you!) and my timeline pic is the two kids, in waterproofs. (DS in red and DD in blue and yellow stripes)

thanks.

Hi

Does he have a statement? On what basis has the state school turned him down? Is it a maintained school or an academy?

Hi,

No, no statement yet, though I have applied for a statutory assessment.

School have turned him down due to (i) diagnosis (HFA and High IQ) and (ii) behaviour issues (he's hard work unless on a 1-2-1 basis. The school is full (in fact they have a bulge class this year) so it's BUSY. so they think he won't cope.

I don't mind keeping him at the nursery, but I am a bit perplexed at being asked to pay for him to be there 9-3 five days a week when I wouldn't have to if he'd gone to school (plus it's a nursery, not a preschool).

It's a standard state primary. Nothing special about it.

The state system have to find him a place.

Apply for a statutory assessment.

This is a nonsense, worry.

You can HE and it can be fantastic, but it is not your only option. The state have a duty to educate him, and they WILL do so.

I do not understand why you think they won't.

The private sector are usually pretty shit with sn (there are exceptions) but State has no choice.

Presumably you have applied through the normal application round for a yr r place. Which school were you allocated? This is the school he will go to. If this school think they cannot provide support within the normal SeN provision, then they must apply for stat assessment.

HE if you want to, but don't say that state have said no.

If they have said no to statutory assessment, then the local school have to take him on the normal application process. If he has had SA and no statement of sen issued, then the local school have to take him on the normal application basis.

If he has had SA and been given a statement, then there will be a Named School.

Have you applied for statutory assessment?

Have school or nursery applied for statutory assessment?

If you genuinely have no freaking clue what I am talking about, call your LA and ask to speak to the Area Inclusion Officer or the SN bod that deal with EArly Ears in your area.

They will talk you through it.

But don't say state won't have him, because it is complete and utter bollocks.

As the parent of an sn child, you have to educate yourself about how the system works.

You can do that and choose to HE (all good ) but you CANNOT abdicate responsibility and claim the state won't have him.

It is completely wrong. And illegal. And probably means you haven't understood your role in the application process.

Why haven't nursery applied for SA?

can I clarify something: you have applied to only one state school and that school is full?

Apols, x posted all over the place!

No, no... School that DS was allocated has allocated a place to DS...

They just don't want to accept him now.

I have applied for SA. I think the school did it though.

You need to speak to your LA to find out what your options are. If a school won't take him he should be allocated a place elsewhere. The LA have an obligation to educate him.

If you were allocated a state school they cannot reject him, they can argue against it but if he is not even statements they cannot reject him. If you have a statement and here school is named on it they have to take him even if "full".
I suggest you contact your local parent partnership, and SEN!SOS! and maybe NAS, there is one other useful organisation but I'm not sure of their name.
Posting in the SEN section here can also get you a lot of help (as could education, as the gurus would know which bits of which codes to quote).
If you don't want to home educate the LA has to provide you with a school, and you have a right to be consulted on what is suitable.

Then he has a place. They don't get to turn him down. I'm not sure why you are in discussion with them about the whys and wherefores?

Call the Area Inco and ask where she would like you to take your son on the first day of term, because his allocated school have said no.

This is really crap. The school that have apparently refused him should not be discussing this with you. They should be discussing with the LA why they are they aren't going to give him his allocated place, and the LA should be liaising with you about their plan to educate your son.

When did the SA application get done? Really for yr r it needs to be the previous september for the statement to be put into place, but your nursery should be have been discussion transition arrangements with you all the way through, and attending transition meeting at new school with you.

The nursery, the school and the LA (if they even know Anything about this balls up) are at fault.

Did you speak to the Area Inco when you were advised to on the last thread?

Again, you can HE if you want to. But the LA will give you a school place.

Call the Area Inco and say the school have told you that he can't have his school place. And you want her to sort it out.

And as for 'they think they won't cope', well diddums. It's their job to cope, and they've three months to work out how they are going to. Or persuade the LA they can't cope and then the LA will find him a different place.

If you can't do this, you do need to speak to parent partnership, IPSEA or SOS sen as above.

Agree with ^ - this is the link for ipsea

My local parent partnership were very helpfull -they may be able to talk to the school with/for you and point you to right contacts at Local Authority. They may not be called parent partnership in your area (they are Parent Link here) so would recommend talking to Citizens Advice as they will know the correct name.

Also these people really helped me 'get' how SEN work in schools and what schools resposibilities are.

You may find you choose to HE (we are) but there really are other options - the agencies above will help you decide. You have plenty of time if your DS is only 4 - try not to panic