The financial bit...

[SugarPeaSnap]

I'm 100% convinced about AE being the best way for my children to live and learn but I am having sleepless nights about the financial implications.

DH is a jobbing academic who has just got a two year fellowship (his first in the UK) so we are ok for two years then after that it's completely unknown. His work is so all encompassing I really do have to be with the children 5 full days a week. That's fine for now, but I am plagued by the 'what if' he doesn't have anything good after that? And what about my retirement? And it's great that all these HE children can get to Uni if they want to but if I haven't been able to earn a decent wage for 13+ years or save any money how can they afford to go to Uni?

In going down the AE lifestyle route and living in the moment with the children am I being blind to my long term responsibilities and our financial viability?

Does anyone else have these worries?

Any outside the box ideas welcome.

p.s. I was an early years teacher before I had children and have thought about doing after school pick ups but not sure I would earn enough, and find my own children so overwhelming I don't feel capable of childminding! Am considering training to be a specialist dyslexia teacher but not sure how much work here is and how I would fit it in.

I think that there is no point living with the what ifs and just go with the here and now. We may all be a communist country by the time our kids have grown up so they'll all earn the same anyway! But seriously, live your life now and if something good or bad happens then deal with it then.

Why is it so difficult to act on ones own advice?

What Colleger said. Do what's right for your family today, and let tomorrow take care of itself. New doors always open.

if I haven't been able to earn a decent wage for 13+ years or save any money how can they afford to go to Uni?

They'll take Student Finance and pay for it themselves like everyone else I know! I've never understood why parents think it's their responsabilty to pay for their grown up children's choices. I wouldn't dream of asking my parents to pay my uni fees!

Mine are all at Uni level now.....they are paying their own way there, as they have always known they would have to, if we home educated. I gave up my career to do this, around the HE and a husband who retired years ago because of a disability. Now I work part time on a much smaller wage. We've always managed on a very limited budget, but it's been the children's choice as well as ours.
They see the lifestyle their cousins etc have and still choose our HE life over that.

My son says he has more money now, as a student, than he has ever had!

My long term responsibilities were to look after my children in the best way for them.

Hi, yes I find the financial aspect difficult. I am also an ex-teacher but do tutoring as a way of having a bit of financial independence. I also worry about having no pension etc. We also live in an ex-council house and now that I am 41 I think I have to accept that I may be living here for the rest of my life and I do find it hard when I see friends moving on to their 2nd/3rd homes due to them having two incomes. The only thing I can say is that a nice house wouldn't be a nice home if I had to go to work each day dragging my miserable son out the door and only seeing my kids for about an hour a day...

What about training as a childminder and combining it with an early years tuition service? As for more kids being overwhelming, I find that more kids tends to mean they play with each other and leave you alone!

Hi, Sorry for taking ages to come back, and thanks for your replies . The spread of responses has reiterated what I guess I already know: that yes, of course we'll be poorer - but richer in other ways. And yes, there's uncertainty - but that uncertainty around jobs would be there anyway, with or without HE.

I think re: childminding it's not something I can imagine doing now, but in a few years I probably could. I already do a couple of after school pick ups for friends on an as and when basis so maybe this could be more formalised.

And I can see Julie is right, with HE you have a better chance of equipping your children for an independent adulthood.

Swallowing all the wisdom is the hard part!

wolvesdidit, you said "The only thing I can say is that a nice house wouldn't be a nice home if I had to go to work each day dragging my miserable son out the door and only seeing my kids for about an hour a day..."

A few years ago I stayed for a few days with my sister-in-law in her beautiful home, which is in a very fashionable area. I complimented her on how immaculate it was and expressed my admiration for her ability to keep it that way, since she works full-time and is in poor health. Cream-coloured carpets, say no more.

She said ruefully, "Well, it isn't hard to keep it clean. We aren't home very much to mess it up... I'm not sure why we worked so hard to buy it, since we are never here to enjoy it."

A random thought, but could you fit private work with dyslexic children around your HE in some way if you did train to be a specialist teacher?

I know when dd was younger and went to a childminder, the minder also had several dyslexic children (some HE) who came to her for sessions each week (she also worked as a support worker for dyslexic students on the days she didn't childmind)

Come to that I'm not sure that her support work with the students wasn't outside office hours - something to explore if your DH is an academic & therefore you're going to be based near a university?