HE an ASD / gifted child with statement

[worrywortisworrying]

I posted this in SN, but was advised to report in HE, so am doing that as I really need as many PoV as possible! Any advice is most gratefully received.

Hi,

This is a bit of a hypothetical question, but I'm trying to get my ducks in a row before going too far down this path.

I have just applied for a statutory assessment for DS (4, and due to start school in September). In my mind (or in the minds of both the nursery he currently attends or the school he is due to attend) there is no doubt that a statement is required.

DS is scarily intelligent but refuses to participate in group activities, does not make friends easily (he has one, though he is good friends with his siblings), he has some sort of fascination with locks (opening them) and escaping from different environments. The nursery he attends (2 mornings a week for the last 3months) have had to change 6 security procedures because he keeps letting himself out (or letting other children out). There is a lot more I could write, but for the sake of brevity, I won't... Safe to say, DS is a danger to himself and to others and will almost certainly need 1-2-1 (at least to start with). It's taken till almost his 4th birthday JUST to get him into ANY nursery and he dislikes going intently.

Right, all that said... I am still toying with the idea of HE. MANY of the behaviours which are problematic at nursery are simply not an issue at home. We have 1-2-1 'tutor' sessions with DS which he very much warms to, and he can read and write, but there is no way he would do that in a group setting / left to his own devices.

I'm trying to understand what rights I would have to remove DS from school and HE if he is unhappy at school.

Sorry, this is really long. It's taking up most of my time (worrying!) at the moment.

DON'T PANIC!!!

I am assuming you live in England or Wales (legalities a bit different in Scotland)

If your son goes into a special school, then you have to ask permission to remove him.

If he is in mainstream, even with 1-2-1 assistance, the way you remove him to HE is that you simply send in a deregistration letter one morning instead of the child. I mean, that would be a bit rude to his TA (assuming he has one), so you would probably actually give them a bit more notice, but that's the only legal requirement.

I just wouldn't bother with school for a child with ASD tendencies aged 4 myself (I know a lot of people in the SN topic think differently - and their track is right for them!). Reasons why are 1) the hours and hours and years and years spent battling to have a child receive the support they need to thrive in a school environment. I'd rather spend those hours actually interacting with my children! and 2) a large classroom, even with 1-2-1, is likely to be at best a meh environment, and much more likely to be overwhelming and distressing. Such a child will either grow into being able to thrive in such an environment, in which case, fine, put them in when they are ready to thrive, or else they will never thrive in such an environment, so they'll avoid an adult life which would require them to spend hours a day in the company of 30 other people. So how is school going to prepare them for adult life?

Ommmward - thankyou for your reply.

DS will go to mainstream school so that's not an issue. It's almost certain he WON'T go in September, but look at a phased introduction once the statement is in place and the support can be accessed.

While I say I want him to go to school, my gut is telling me to HE, which is why I don't want to get into a situation where I CANNOT pull him out of school. So, knowing that I will be able to do that is a massive relief.

I'd rather keep him out right now, but not sure if I'm missing an opportunity to have him mix with other kids (which he does like to do, but only on his terms)

Meh. I'd explore the HE opportunities locally, and see what you can work up by way of playdates. When he's ready to mix with other kids beyond random encounters in parks, he'll let you know. (trust me, I have learned to play the long game with this. It really really paid off).

He has 3 siblings (all of whom go to school) who he gets on great with. He has 1 friend (who is due to go to the same school) who he likes.

The rest of them, generally, he ignores or calls them the wrong name . But in a group setting, it's like he gets some overwhelming urge to escape. To be fair, I remember having similar ideas as a child (albeit older)

But, I'm guessing playdates are going to get harder and harder once they start school (as in all the other kids... I don't know anyone else who is considering HE)

Most of the people we play with use school. we just meet them at weekends and in holidays, and we tend to play with the odd HE family or preschoolers during the week (sometimes younger siblings of the person people might have expected we'd be socialising with). That can work really really well with a child who is not particularly comfortable socialising with his/her peers. (equally, finding an older HEed child, especially one who has recently got out of school after a traumatic experience, and who really wants to come to play somewhere unthreatening where it's ok to play with lego and make biscuits with small children, without anyone expecting much child-child interaction)