What do you do when you just don't have time to teach/keep an eye on what your DC are doing, workwise?

[ToffeeWhirl]

I'm getting ready to go on holiday on Friday and am in a bit of a tizz because I've just realised there's so much to get done before we go. As a result, I've told DS1 (12) I can't do anything with him this week and he'll have to do his own thing. Usually, we do Maths and English together in the morning and then do whatever he fancies in the afternoon. "It's OK, I'll do BBC Bitesize", he says. Five minutes' later, he's on Minecraft .

OK, those of you who are autonomous home educators probably don't have to worry about this, but I haven't taken the leap into that because whenever I leave DS to his own devices he will spend every hour of the day on Minecraft. And I really do believe he needs to do some other stuff too. Plus it makes me feel better to have done some schoolish work with him every morning.

I'm not worried because it's only a week and he's worried so much about going on holiday that it's probably good for him to relax. But it made me wonder what other home educators do when the things in life encroach on home education. I have times (like now) when there is just stacks of washing to do, messy rooms to sort out, paperwork to deal with, last-minute shopping, packing and so on and I need to concentrate on it, not DS.

I found that once my son (HE from 12-leaving age) was aware of the consequences of not doing the work, he would manage his time pretty well. I pointed out that it made no difference to me whatsoever whether he did it or not, it was him that would be forced back to school, and a school not of his choosing, if he couldn't "convince" the LEA woman that he was getting a decent education at home. I arranged with her to come every six months, and he desperately didn't want to go back to school. It worked for us. Every so often we would have a few days off, and I would often find that he would still read, and browse articles on the net etc, so even though he thought he wasn't doing anything, he was still learning without realising it iyswim. I also let him decide the emphasis for his studies, so he leaned towards humanities, geography, and history a lot. We did the maths I decided he needed to do, and would have a day or two plugging away at a new concept, then a couple of days where we did none, then a "test" or recap day so it never got too much for him. By giving him input into what he did, and when, he felt much more in control, and came to plan his work really well.

I like that idea, PomBear . DS1 is only self-motivated when it concerns Minecraft, so I need a way of helping him motivate himself with other stuff. We are having a visit from the LEA after our holiday, so that might put the wind up him!

Were you planning to stick with school terms? Could you, say, declare this week to be holiday (or inset week, LOL) and then have shorter summer holidays than the schools do?

Or - how often do these times come up for you, when you aren't able to spend as much time on academics as you feel you should? If it isn't very often then maybe you can just let it go, remembering how much benefit your ds is getting from the one-to-one when you are able to work with him. If it is really mostly the Minecraft that you mind, can you just disable the computer but otherwise leave him to his own devices this week?

I have to say that if I want mine to work without supervision, it's on paper rather than on the computer, because I would have the same problem as you! Does your DS actually need you to sit with him while he does Maths and English? I find that a lot of their work can be done independently and they come to me if there is something they don't understand.

I agree with what everyone else has said.

If you definately want him to get 'work' done while you are busy elsewhere I would consider trying using 'workboxes' (if you hunt around you should find helpful links)

You put whatever work you want him to do that day/week in the box with a checklist on top for him to follow. He works through it and talks to you if he needs any help.
You have said he is not easily motivated so maybe this suggestion is of no help - perhaps the promise of spending money for the holiday would be suitable motivation?

Another suggestion is to get him to choose a topic and work independantly researching it, writing, drawing etc - Once completed he could present it if wished to an audience (my ds loves to do this bit!)
Ds is besotted by metro systems of the world and spends ages drawing maps of hongkong metro, Berlin metro etc.
When we meet peeople we know he asks them "where have you been in the world?" - then an discussion ensues about the various stations he hopes they have visited!!

If unrestricted time on the computer is a problem, I would remove wifi box (or whatever) - or say "yes you can have a turn on bitesize" but disable the minecraft option (no idea how you prevent access to different sites but I know it can be done)
Another suggestion is playing computer games with an educational element - Age of empires is one a friend learnt quite a bit of history from (some years ago - no idea if its still a game people play!!)

Thank you everyone.

Saracen - I do stick with school terms because it fits in neatly with DS1, who is still at school. I suppose I have been fairly vigilant until now, so this is the first time in six months that I have declared an unofficial 'holiday'. I could disable the computer, but then DS1 bothers me so often that I can't get anything done anyway. He begs me to let him do BBC Bitesize, I give in (for some peace) and then, five minutes later, hear the sounds of Minecraft.... . I suppose I have already gone with the unofficial holiday idea this week, as I can't really imagine a week off 'schoolwork' is going to make the slightest bit of difference to his life (unless it is to turn him into a Minecraft Master ).

Tinuviel - the trouble is that DS has a real issue with worksheets. He finds writing so painful and difficult that it is incredibly stressful to get him to produce anything on paper (the suggestion is usually greeted with incredulity: "You want me to write?!"). I tend to let him do his written work on the computer - which means he still has access to Minecraft. We are awaiting an assessment with an OT for the writing issue, as it has long been a problem for him and what he produces on paper never reflects his ability. And yes, he does need me to sit with him to keep him focused. It's good to know mine isn't the only child led astray by the computer though.

Threadwatcher - as you suspect, the worksheet option would be tricky for DS. Actually, money is not an incentive for him as he can't get out to spend it (anxiety issues, which is why he's at home in the first place) and even the prospect of holiday money wouldn't mean much to him. He has researched some independent topics: so far, he has studied dogs and ....Minecraft .

I'm not clever enough with computers to disable the Minecraft access. Actually, DS is a lot cleverer than me on the computer. The one thing I can do is set the timer so that the computer automatically switches off when I want it to. However, DS has found a way round this - and I still haven't worked out how he does it . It's proving exhausting to keep one step ahead of him.

Today, after he'd spent far too long on Minecraft (though I must admit he had created a very beautiful glass building, which made me think he might have a future as an architect ), I turned off the computer and suggested he go and read. He did go up to his room for an hour or so, although I don't think any reading occurred (listening to music by the sound of it). Then he was back, pestering me to go on Minecraft again...

My DS is eleven and at the moment we are getting ready to move house. This is entailing the most enormous amount of cleaning and packing on my part. So I just set him work that he knows he has to get done. He didn't used to like writing either, but I have been firm and he just knows he has to do it. I get cross when I can hardly read his writing though! Currently I am setting him some handwriting practice too and he really doesn't want to do that at all.
But he needs to learn that there will always be things in life he doesn't want to do but has to, so I just persevere and eventually so does he.
It can be an uphill battle, but he knows he is getting a good education deep down.
I have a friend who home edded her daughter (now 17) and as the girl hated writing and hated maths, whenever her mum got out a book of maths, she groaned and moaned so the mum put it away. Hence when the poor kid went to school age 11 she had NEVER done any maths at all. Not a very good thing for her.
I think sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, as the saying goes.
When I sit with my son, he moans and complains and tries to get me to write the answers down FOR him! Occasionally I do, when I know he has already done a lot, but as he is off to school in September himself, I frequently counter with " and when you get tired are you going to ask your teacher to write your answers down for you then?" which mostly works.
But my answer is set work for him.

ToffeeWhirl It's half term here for some schools, for some reason some locally are having 2 weeks for this break. If that helps with the impromptu holiday feeling more official

Idrather - sounds as if your son and mine have a lot in common! I agree with them having to do certain things, even when they don't want to. We stick at Maths because it's based on building blocks of knowledge and it won't help DS to have to cover the Maths curriculum in one year when he is getting ready for GCSEs. Good luck with your house move.

anastasia - funnily enough, it turns out that DS's old school are not doing any schoolwork this week either, as they are winding down before half term. So even if he was at school, he would not be doing any more than he is now!

The good thing, for me, is that I have got loads done over the last few days and am no longer panicking about getting ready - so DS will benefit from a much calmer, happier mother!

Fabulous! I'm glad to hear that things are coming together for your holiday and I hope you all have a lovely time.

Toffee as you know my DS is too little for HE/school, but have you tried your fly-timer with DS1?

Ie if he does 30 mins of BBC, he gets xx minutes of Minecraft?

Or, and it's a bit random, possibly buy him the very old but absorbing Settlers; which is a computer game about building and conquering - but you need x,y or z to get a, b or c. Also, you can then be one of several civilisations, so could link into history too.

Just a thought!

Thanks, Saracen.

Carpe - are you still sitting on that sofa?! I'm sorry, I'm so much in the holiday zone that I can't cope with any altercations with DS1 (and using a timer would lead to them, believe me). It's a good idea for a normal HE day though and I could try it then. Have never heard of Settlers, but I'll mention it to DS. I think his love for Minecraft is all-encompassing though.

Now, get up off that sofa and do some Flying!

Looks really good, Carpe, thank you. I'll see if I can bring it to DS's attention without actually suggesting it (in which case, the answer would, of course, be no).

It's quite an old game IYSWIM.

Maybe buy it, bash it about (the box) and then find it as an old game of so you have an excuse for not knowing the rules and claim "you wouldn't be interested in that, it's a bit old/advanced/etc for you?" reverse psychology style? Or, "I'd forgotten about that game, I must install it" kindof thing?

Can you tell what happened a lot when I was small?

He wouldn't be allowed on Minecraft at school would he?
My 14 year old loves Minecraft but he goes to school. When he comes home he does his homework and only then is he allowed on Minecraft and he has a daily maximum otherwise he would never do anything else.. (He has just built an arena in order to conduct Hunger Games type trials).
Surely you are either home educating him......or not? If you are his teacher you should save your housework/holiday preparations until lessons are over.

home ed isn't school SecretSquirrels - there are no set hours, and even if there are (as the OP has said they are quite structured) there is nothing to say you have to time your days off and holidays to school terms. It makes sense not to in fact so you can take advantage of off peak rates and quiet places.

Hmm, actually he might, SecretSquirrels (MinecraftEd - bringing Minecraft to the classroom).

anastasia - point well made. Thank you.

Carpe - didnt expect to see you here - did you follow toffee?

Just need to say DD and I both love Settlers so pleased to find its educational too

toffee dont be so hard on yourself - hope you are enjoying the holiday - perhaps you need to have a chat with DS when you get home about how long he has to be on Bitesize (or whatever) before Minecraft so he can learn to 'self discipline' - then you dont need to worry if you are a bit busy on Mumsnet

I have accidentally unplugged the internet whilst hoovering but of course as soon as i realised i plugged it back in