one sibling at school and one HE - will it work

[maggi]

Hello. My eldest is way, way, way behind in writing skills (but slightly ahead in reading and incredibly bright). He started secondary school last Sept and we had a host of issues so I am testing HE on inset days and weekends with him to see if it could be sucessful as I work from home. Things are going really well on these trials.

But my youngest is thriving at school and is so eager to learn. We had not considered HE with him. Does anyone have experience of how siblings are affected when only one is HE?

My eldest (12) is home educated as he found secondary school too difficult to cope with. He has OCD, which makes daily life incredibly stressful for him. His brother (6) goes to school.

The answer to your question - how are siblings affected when only one is HE? - is that the one at school generally asks to be HE too. Often this leads to the parents taking them out of school also. In my case, DS2 is thriving at school and I know that DS1 needs one-to-one time with me at home in order to learn (he gets more stressed when his little brother is around), so it is not an option. However, DS2 does sometimes ask to be HE also, particularly if he has had a hard day at school. I deal with it by trying to explain why DS1 needs to learn at home for the moment (ie, he has anxieties which DS2 doesn't share) and giving DS2 lots of praise for all his achievements at school. I also point out all the positives about school for him - he's made good friends, enjoys playtimes, loves the Art Club, has done some wonderful work that he's been really proud of, etc.

I have been tempted to pull DS2 out of school also, but whenever I have had him at home with DS1 on a home-ed day, it has been so difficult that I have soon changed my mind!

So it can be done. And sometimes, of course, one sibling chooses to be HE whilst the other wants to go to school.

My DS (12, Year7) is Home Eded and will be next year, whilst DD (8, Year 4) attends the local Junior School. All are very happy with this arrangement. DS gets the opportunity to learn on his own in the comfort of his own home and environs, DD loves the company and group learning at school.

To be fair DD was flexi-schooled half time for one year due to medical reasons and does know what it would be like to stay at home; for her school is perfect; for him home is great; and for me, both children are calm, happy, learning and a pleasure to be with because of that!

A slight inconvenience is school pick-up and drop-off. DH takes DD some days, DS and I do the rest. Sometimes I use it as an excuse to force/encourage him out of the house; other times I leave him at home for the short duration. He is a mature 12 year old and gets on with any work which is left for him.

I homeschooled no2 son for his last four years of school, and his elder brother and three younger siblings are/were all quite happy going to school. It never made any difference that I'm aware of.

Yes, it works for us. I have my eldest DD (13yr) at home being HE and her younger sister who is 8yrs old very happy at school. I did ask DD2 if she also wanted to stay at home and be HE and she flatly refused. And if she's happy with that then so am I. Plus I think I'd find teaching two children who are so far apart academically quite challenging.

Thank you - your replies are what I'd hoped.