End of week one....what a fantastic week.

[nelehluap]

Just come to the end of the first week with HE-ing DD1 who is 13yrs old. As a result I have a much happier, more confident, more family interactive child and a child who is once again eating, sleeping, has a spring in her step and complains the days go too quickly!

Definitely the right thing to do for her. She's joined two sports clubs, shes got herself a part-time voluntary job at a local charity shop, she's done some work in between (only a bit of maths with her Dad, some geography, english and some science), she's read two paperback books which she's written reviews on, she's started writing her own fictional story which I have to admit is absolutely brilliantly but, sadly, about a child who is isolated/left out and ultimately bullied at school (DD1's history) and she comes out to work with me for my two mornings a week so I get her out and about knocking on doors (I'm a courier) and rediscovering the confidence she had prior to being bullied at school.

Even after just one full week of HE-ing I feel we made the right decision. Yes its a massive change after having been in full-time school for so many years and yes I'm sure there's going to be times when I think 'what the hell have I done?' but its all looking positive. And yes I'm having to learn these subjects all over again but, tbh, its made me realise how much I'd forgotten since my own school days and its quite refreshing!....:)

That's great!
I think it can bring a huge positive change so quickly. We started home ed 5 weeks ago and it's still as good as you've just described!

That's fantastic. Really sounds like u have made the right decision and how wonderful it is to hear your dd is so happy!! :o

Thank you! :)

Yes definitely the right decision. But it was a decision that took a long time to make - years probably.

I feel that its been a bit of a learning curve for me too. In an odd sort of way I feel that I have rediscovered by eldest daughter again. Seeing her so happy now has made me realise just how unhappy she was before. Very sad realisation but one that has become so apparent since she's been away from school. :)

Congratulations.

Thank you numbertaker. :)

Hi neleh

You are right it is only when they stop being so unhappy that you realise how bad things had become. I think your daughters school behaved in a appaling way over the assault (thats what it was not bullying or an accident IMO) but it does sound as though they were failing her accademically too. You are well rid of them.

We hesitated so long because DDs school is such a good school accademically and really behaviour wise too. DD was not physically bullied but the mental anguish she was going through proved too much for her. The SENCO was right she did need to toughen up to get the most out of the school - she didnt want to be that kind of 'tough'.

You have already done more work this week than we have all together (dont tell LEA ) but I consider DD to be 'off sick' at the moment. She has been (like your DD) writting various works of great literature mostly about Dr Who or Sherlock Holmes. Her maths has consisted of her working out how much insulin to take with each meal and how long it will take her to save up for an ipad . Geography has been studying the running order for tonights Eurovision Song Contest. I hope she has sent your DD an email - so that will be ICT covered!

Hope things continue to be as good as the first week has been for you. You have my permission to breathe a sigh of relief and have a or two...

Brilliant

Wonderful to read! I'm so glad you took the plunge

well done to you both!

MoreCatsThanKids my kids didn't do any formal work at all! And I did tell the LA!
Informal learning such as you have described (Sherlock Holmes/Dr Who, maths in real life, and geography in the real world) IS a very valid form of education!

Great news, I have just completed my first week too, my ds is much younger (6) and we have been doing bits and bobs of reading and writing, Right now he is sat watching his new jolly phonics dvd (his choice). He had a rough time at school and just didn't cope said he hated work but I'm finding as long as I don't call it work he loves to learn.

Sounds great!

My DD was also 'advised' by the school to 'toughen' up and not be quite such a sensitive child. Her 'sensitive' nature was used as an excuse for encouraging such awful behaviour from other kids whom the school felt was why DD was such a target. I told the school that DD is made the way she is, sensitive or not, why does the school not put some time and effort into sorting out those kids that felt it was ok to target my DD and teach them how to b

ehave? It was as if their nasty bitchy ways was acceptable and my DD's sensitivity wasn't?

Yes I feel very disappointed/let down etc by the school. I do think they chose the easy option of how to deal with all the problems my DD faced by trying to get her to change into a child she was never going to be. DD is a lovely sweet natured, kind, caring, compassionate child with enormous respect for other kids and especially adults....all those things her 'friends' did not possess. I am proud of DD - she will, I can foresee, turn into a lovely young lady who will undoubtedly do well in life. When I look, hear and watch these other girls outside of school I see and hear rude young girls, whose every other word begins with an 'f', who shout, scream, muck about, dress very inappropriately, covered in make-up resembling clowns, are permanently plugged into their phones/ipods etc etc...all the things I don't want my DD1 to turn into and fortunately nor does she.

Yes I am pleased we took the plunge. Yes I expect there will be a fairly long settling in period and yes I'm sure we'll hit some bumps along the way. But I must've done the right thing because I'm now beginning to worry if I'll have the same decision to make when DD2 hits this age group because she's the complete opposite to DD1 and for her to sit down and do some homework with me is a complete nightmare! She doesn't have the same staying power as DD1 and prefers to go off and play! She's also a child who says what she thinks and is the type of girl DD1's school would've preferred DD1 to have changed into...a tough nut that will hit back.....but I have made the decision, atleast, that she won't be going to the senior school DD1 was at.

And yes....morecats...your DD has emailed! So you can tick off ICT! x

Your DD sounds like a lovely person - you are so right not to want her to change. I agree with MoreCats that you and she are well rid of that school. I'm so glad to hear that HE is going so well.

This is all so good to read. We are also just starting our second week of home educating ds10 and all is going very well.

I have never seen such a sparkle in his eyes. Everything seems so much more relaxed, spontaneous and trusting.

It was such a big decison but matched by immense relief when finally made.

Waiting for LEA to make contact now.

Well done woodburner !! Sounds like you've made the right decision too! I've been told that the LEA will be in touch fairly soon but if I'm not ready for an inspection I can tell them to leave me alone for a few months especially when my reasons for pulling DD1 out of school have to be considered (bullying) and that she needs time to chill out and get school out of her system. Having said that DD1 has bounced back so well that I'd welcome an inspection whenever it suits both me and the LEA. Whilst I'm sat here typing this she's sat next to me doing some English and after that she's going to do some science (digestion, lovely)....she's been into town on her own (about a 10min walk from home) to have her final interview for a voluntary job at a charity shop and I'm pleased to say she got the job! and starts after half-term and she's also been out with me and helped me with my work during the morning. Then she's off to join an athletics club this evening...something she's wanted to do for a long time. No wonder she sleeps so well lately. :)

She sounds a very happy girl, nelehluap. How wonderful that she has a mum who has given her this opportunity. She'll never forget it, you know.

Thank you toffeewhirl - it has been quite a sacrifice I've had to make too to enable her to be HE. Having had time to myself every aftn, after I've finished work, before school kick out time it has taken quite some getting used to having her around. This is her 3rd week at home. But, having said that, I did lay down some rules. Firstly she must get up at the usual time as if she were going to school - 7am. She is to get dressed, washed, eat etc before I leave to take DD2 to school. Whilst I'm doing that school run (20miles round trip) she can do what she wants....she usually goes out for a walk with the dog or simply reads/listens to music. Then she can either come out to work with me or she can stay at home and do whatever work we've set for her the night before. She usually comes out with me. We then get home, have lunch and she will then do whatever work needs to be done - usually two subjects, taking just under 2hrs to complete. Then thats it. She either stays at home and chills whislt I go back over to pick up DD2 or she comes with me. At the moment she's preferring to stay at home because by coming with me she has to endure seeing the nasty group of girls walking home that bullied her so badly who still like to jeer, wave, fingers up, swear, shout at us as we drive past. She then has the rest of the day to do what she wants - for example tonight she's going to an athletics club, tomorrow night she's working at a charity shop, Wednesday is her day off, Thursday is charity shop and Friday she does trampolining club...all these activities I take her to and pick her up - I don't hang about - I want her to have independence from me as much as I need it from her. So far so good. Smiles all round. Thank goodness. :)

That sounds wonderful!

And yes it must be very sad to see her write about a horrible experience but it is a brilliant form of healing - especially as thanks to you she is now out of that situation and at home with parents who she can discuss her writing with :)

Thank you fuzzpig....and yes it is hard to read something that she's written that resembles her experiences at school but maybe its her way of offloading and she promises me it'll have a happy ending :)

julienoshoes - thank you for that link.:)

I agree with you and was actually (sort of) the point I was trying to make - different approaches work with diferent families, not sure we will ever be very structured, but its early days yet.

Nearing end of second week. Have to say this week has been a bit up and down, more up than down fortunately. I do believe there is definitely a de-schooling process to be done which I don't expect to happen overnight....and I've found DD1 has needed some 'time out'. She's had another really busy week and I still believe we made the right decision but its been a huge change for not only her but also me and DH (and, to a certain degree, DD2)....which backs up my thoughts that after having had a child in school for 9yrs to then do HE is a huge decision and not one to be made without serious thought and consideration. She's still very happy, has grown with confidence enormously, her work is meticulous, she is still keen/eager and wants to learn etc...but I've discovered she also needs time on her own, just chilling.....its a bit like a recovery process....and because she had such a god-awful time at school I think its going to take sometime to get up her to full speed. We're in no hurry, she has three years before she's due to take her GCSE's...loads of time, thankfully. :)

Hi nelehluap

"HE is a huge decision and not one to be made without serious thought and consideration"

the choice/decision to HE does come to some families over a period of time, but I remember talking to several LA officers at a big meeting. One of them said

"It's not you we are worried about Julie, it's the parents who take find out about home education and take their child out straight away, on a whim or after some petty disagreement with the school. They don't know what on earth they are going to do, they don't know how they are going to tackle qualifications. They have no end plan" The others nodded in agreement....

I replied:
"Go back several years and I was that parent! Ds came home and told us about being sent out of class over a problem with left handed scissors. For us it was the last straw after many problems with the school, our children were so unhappy. The school and LA didn't see it that way though, they would have thought it a petty disagreement. That was a Friday. That evening I frantically searched for an alternative, I found the Education Otherwise website, and knew instantly I had found the answer! I called my husband to look. He agreed. We spoke to the children-all three were delighted! The deregistration letter went in the very next school day! We've never looked back. End plan? I didn't know what on earth I was going to do on that first morning! Heck I didn't have a beginning plan let alone an end one! No idea what so ever what we would do about qualifications either! I just knew that what ever we did had to be better than school was managing!"

All three have far far outstripped everything predicted for them by school, as they were all deemed to be not as bright as I thought them to be. They are all in Higher Education -and more importantly, happy self confident people, who can go out and get what they want in this world.

So for some of us-quite a lot actually, it is an instant decision -of course it doesn't mean it's not serious. I've met quite a lot of home educators who like me, find out about HE one day and get the children out of school the very next day!

We are all different aren't we?

MoreCatsThanKids I knew you were making the same sort of point-I just wanted to say you don't have to be scared about telling the LA about it. There is research to show it informal learning is a very valid educational choice.

nelehluap pleased all is going well for your dd.

I have found that ds who used to be an expert at distraction techniques in school to get out of doing work that was too hard for him (dyslexia tendencies), is finding an hour of one to one no escape with mum exhausting!

He even said himself that he is learning more with me than he did in a week of school and even called mental maths 'awesome' the other day. I thought he was joking at first - but no he really meant it!

Time to chill is a good thing. ds is getting loads of it and smiling his way through the day playing and browsing loads of skateboard and scooter books that he chose from the library and scootering like mad over the jump he just made with dad. Lots of angles, measurements and playing with power tools