Home educating/ Unschooling with younger sibling

[Gilberte]

I'm really curious about this topic as I've been reading John Holt and wondering whether it's something I would consider.

However, as I have two children approx 3 yrs apart with very different needs and temperements- I can't figure out how you would handle the following scenarios.

1. You want to take toddler to a toddler group/toddler activity etc. You have to take your 5/6 year old along with you-They will probably be the only one there and get bored and whiny so do you stop going to these groups?

1. You find an activity for the older one to do but it's too old for the younger one- you still have to take the toddler along. If it's soft play/ running around a park they can both get something out of it but if it's something crafty, the younger one is bound to want to get involved. My toddler won't leave my eldest alone

1. If your children don't get on but you've got them both at home, the opportunities for squabbling are increased and opportunities for one to one are limited. If one goes to school or nursery, then the other gets an opportunity for valuable time alone with parent. How do you continually manage to meet two often conflicting needs at home. My eldest DD suffers from terrible jealousy and I spend a lot of my time at home with them prizing the DCs apart or intervening in their squabbles, pushing, hairpulling etc.

1. When I'm with my DCs I'm playing with them, entertaining them, making things, organising lots of mini missions and trips out to stop them getting bored-we rarely potter about at home as we have a small house and everyone goes stir crazy. I'm not sure I could maintain a full schedule day after day, let alone afford it yet if I didn't I think DCs would be very bored. They don't watch much TV, play together or play on their own much yet.

When you are home educating- how do you fill the days.

Sorry for all the questions/ musings.

No answers but I am wondering something very similar, am also thinking about unschooling and mine are currently nearly 4 and nearly 1. I definitely couldn't take my older one to a toddler group though,he would be a liability.

quick thoughts:

1. they learn to get along. Siblings who don't spend much time together can do a LOT of bickering. Siblings who are together a lot find accommodation with each other.

1. we go out a lot. there are all sorts of ordinary, not expensive activities that are fun for all ages (library, supermarket, parks etc etc)

1. benign neglect rather than constant cabaret is definitely to be aimed at for the mother - and involving the children in whatever household chores you are trying to get on with, if they are willing.

Oh and

1. socialise in HE groups, where there are always vast age ranges and no-one thinks anything of it (and no-one thinks anything of the toddlers messing up the aimed-at-8-year-olds craft activity either)

Well, I can answer the first two:

If I am going to a toddler activity, my older one is usually happy to sit with a book or some drawing while I am involved with the toddler. (I'm guessing a DS would also be a good distraction for an older child)

If I take the older one to something, they will generally be with a leader / instructor (I am thinking things like sports clubs, brownies etc) and I can get out of the way and amuse the toddler with books, cars, aquadraw, nursery rhymes etc

Or, as Ommward said, we go to HE groups where different ages are expected and there is usually another parent or an older child who will happily amuse the toddler for a while or help out the older one with the activity.

As to the squabbling, I have yet to figure that one out. Any ideas, do let me know!

The main thing is, they do get easier as they get older! They bicker less, entertain themselves better, learn to put up with being hauled along to siblings' activities.

If you meet other HE families you'll see that although the siblings do squabble, the scale is much less than with schoolchildren. I think it is something to do with having their needs met well overall, so they are good-tempered. They'll have been spending much of their time doing what they want, playing, having some of mum's attention from time to time throughout the day. Compare that to children who have been slightly (or hugely) stressed at school and come home tired and perhaps wanting time with mum at exactly the same time their siblings do - it's hard to behave under those circumstances.

True, there will be challenges like the ones you describe but I expect you'll find them more manageable than you anticipate.

Thanks for the responses. I agree it will probably be better once they are older. At the moment my 18month old is on a mission to destroy/interfere/snatch so anything I try to do with my 4.5 yr old usually ends in tears.

I was very much the cabaret mum to my PFB ( I now know better and DD2 is more chilled anyway)and this has made it very difficult for DD1 to accept her sibling. I can no longer play with dolls etc for hours like I used to as much of the time indoors is firefighting, feeding, cleaning up and being the united nations rolled into one.

At the moment the plan is to let DD1 try school when it is more about play and see what she thinks of it and whether the environment suits her. At the moment she is keen to go but she is a very sensitive soul and I do worry whether it's right for her but perhaps I'm projecting my feelings onto her too much.

Your answers have given me more food for thought.