your views please

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hello home educators, can I firstly say I lack the confidence to do what you have done as I feel that dd would miss out on something or be disadvantaged in some way. Is it normal to have these doubts about leaving the system. I really do not agree with the nc and the way schools are managed and even the subjects taught, but I just don't seem able to consider home ed for the above reasons. Also I feel I may get objections from dh other dc's (older and left school now).
I would like to hear form anybody who can give me an honest opinion on the pro's and cons and also how they manage the routine. I know dd would or says she would like to be home ed, but am aware the novelty could soon wear off.

Where do you live morethanpotatoprints? I'd suggest you find some local home educators to have a chat with, and find out about local support. There is a thread here about fining other home educators.

It is normal to have doubts-we've all been indoctrinated to believe that sitting down and being taught in schools is the only way to get an education, for too long haven't we?

We didn't have a set routine at all, as we learned through living life and following the children's interests. The only regular activities were the after school things like Choir and dancing lessons. At the beginning of each month we'd get the local HE newsletters and choose what we were interested in attending, and that's what we'd base our lives around. Kinds like living the way most people do through the school holidays-but all of the time.

For us the only con was money-I gave up a career to do this and now work at a much lower paid-but enjoyable-job.
However we managed by buying second hand, from car boot sales/charity shops/Ebay/Amazon or getting things free from FreeCycle.
I drive a much older car, and we holiday mostly by camping or by making the most of Travelodge deals.

But of course we don't have to pay extortionate amounts out for school uniforms etc.

and the advantages far FAR FAR outweigh the disadvantages. We've had such a happy life together and the children have achieved way beyond what was predicted for them in school. I'd happily go back and do it all again.

I think most people have doubts - they are just outweighed by the negatives they see in continuing with school, so you learn to deal with whatever you think the issues are likely to be. It depends a lot on your child, your situation, why school doesn't suit, etc, etc, etc. But, in general, the things people might worry about can be got round with a bit of imagination.

eg sport - ok your child won't be in a class doing PE. But they can still join sports clubs out of school, have a kick-about in the park, join a gym (older ones - here they can use the cardio machines from 13 I think), cycle or go out for family walks

working in teams - again, sports clubs do plenty of that, so do cubs/brownies etc

You don't need to cover specific subjects - if you do things that cover numeracy, literacy, finding out about how the world works, and something creative, then it doesn't much matter if you don't cover eg "history" as a specific thing. And if your child develops an interest in something later, you can find out about it together.

The main cons are really about having to keep explaining/justifying your choice to people who don't know anything about it and refuse to learn or to believe that you might actually be able to tell what works for your own child!

Oh thank you for your replies, at one time dh wouldn't even have considered he as an option. I think some men are very narrow minded, but fter a short conversation tonight he can see the benefits. We are in Wigan, Lancashire and I haven't really contacted anybody yet as the idea of he sprung into my mind yesterday when I thought about how dd would fit in all her activities which she loves so much.
I know this is a stupid question but when you leave the system are the children no longer able to access LEA clubs and activities such as orchestra, choir etc. She loves these and could see it being a problem to overcome.

It depends on the area as to whether home educated children are able to access musical activities/events provided by the Council; there is no hard and fast rule I think.

You could ask local home educators and you could also ask the local authority (though it might not be immediately apparent who at the LA would know the answer)

There are various threads here about how to find local home education groups and support networks.

As you may know, Wigan is a separate Council from the rest of Lancashire. I seem to remember that Wigan Council retained some home educating/former home educating parents to act as LA home education consultants.

On a more general level, your child will undoubtedly miss out on some opportunities which would have been available in school, just as school children miss out on some of what is available to home educated children.

To take just one example, my home educated son who is now 19, gets to play banjo, guitar and fiddle for three or four hours every day more or less when he feels like it. If he left the house at half seven in the morning to go to school and came back at half five with homework, I think he would lose out.

FionaJ. Thank you so much for your reply. The reason we are considering this is because of dd's music. She is 8 and plays Violin, Sings, piano and very soon saxophone. We would have to have stopped her dancing on saturday at 11 when the homework started coming in. This is a solution to enable her to continue with everything until such a time as she has to choose a direction. She loves her practice, however one of her teachers is LEA but I'm sure they would do privately if I asked. Her choir would be a loss as she adores her choir master and counted the days to be old enough to join. I will call and ask tomorrow, you never know I might get a straight answer. I wasn't aware of the education consultants this sounds promising.
Thanks again, I feel the barriers dropping at each move and am beginning to feel HE could be a realistic option.

In answer to your original question, yes, I think it's very normal to have doubts. I had the most doubts before I started HE, and quickly knew I'd made the right decision, but I still have my moments even now! DD1 is 16 and just coming to the end of her home ed journey and I still get doubts, particularly over her exams. I get that little voice that says maybe she would have got better grades at school....I know it isn't the reality, but exams can be harder to navigate as home educators (the IGCSEs we're doing are harder than school GCSEs, for starters) and I sometimes wonder if it's made her life harder than it would have been.

But then I look at her, how happy and confident she is, how ready to go on to sixth form in September, how grown up and lovely she is, and what an amazingly happy 4 years she's had at home. I look at the pressure school children are constantly under at her age and younger, filling their days off with endless homework, under threat of detention. Then I know I did the right thing by her and the advantages have outweighed any disadvantages by masses.

For DD2 I've never had doubts since I took her out (I had plenty before!). She was such a bad fit for school I know she would be utterly miserable if she was there now and I know she's achieved much more than she would have in school.

As for the music, I suspect it differs from area to area. We asked about this for DD2 and were told we could access the orchestra and the Saturday music service, but not the classes they hold in schools. We have paid for private singing lessons for her (pricey, yes, I know) and I the school I teach keyboard at gets teachers in who do not belong to county music service. They still teach group lessons for similar cost - in fact slightly less. They have said DD2 can participate in these if we want to sign up for them. So you may find a local school who will help. Luckily I teach piano and keyboard so we have that sorted. However, for our home ed group I hold a regular keyboard session, for free. Other home educators share their skills in a similar way. You may find more out there than you think! However, I would definitely ask outright whether she would still be able to access the things she does now.

Yes, I think the freedom to pursue out-of-school activities is a big draw for my daughter. She does loads of activities, many of which she had to put on hold somewhat when she tried school for a term in Y5. She might have been able to cram them in physically but then there would have been no time to chill out, draw, see friends, read books.

My daughter is 12. We noticed her schooled peers dropping like flies from their favourite extracurricular activities as they hit secondary school and their homework load increased massively.

For her, the picture is very different. She spends much of her day relaxing - she does a handful of home ed activities, but not nearly so many as when she was younger - and then hits the ground running in the afternoons/evenings/weekends. She usually has loads of energy for it and besides, unlike school most of these activities are usually easy for her to skip from time to time if she just doesn't feel like going.

BTW where I live, all of the Music Service's offerings are available to home educated children on the same basis as schoolchildren. In fact there is more flexibility because they can join instrument lessons in any school to which their parents are prepared to transport them, so they aren't restricted as to which instrument or level they do according to what is available at any particular school.

Thank you saracen you have given a good indication as to life as a H eder, I called the LEA this morning and alas we would not be able to access what we do now. This isn't a huge problem as the music teachers will all do private lessons for the same price (don't have to give school a cut). She will miss choir though and this was a main part of her life and the jd's music college she was looking at attending at 11 preffered them to be in choirs/ orchestras or groups.
For this reason we have decided to carry on cramming everything in for the next couple of years and not go into secondary.
This seems like a second best but other issues included friends known since nursery. I think she would be more inclined to want he when friends all move on.

If you are in Wigan you may find the LEA are spectacularly unhelpful. They are currently debating the safeguarding issues of home education :(
I know this because both my parents are governors in that area.
However I haven't had any dealings with them myself so cannot say for certain.

I believe there is a group called Wigheds that covers Wigan for home educators, though I'm not sure where you'd find them.
I would be quite prepared to meet up next time we are over that way though.

Regarding the doubts - I think every parent has them when they make the first forays into home education. I know my Dh wasn't at all sure about it, but within a couple of months of taking dd out he was convinced it was for the best.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

couldn't you approach the choir master directly. If your dd adores him, he must be nice. I can't see a choir master dropping an enthusiastic and musical dc if there is a way around it.

Hi Fellas, I am a chronic lurker on home ed as I'm intending to HE our DD, she's only 21 months at the mo though! I was reading all the latest threads yesterday and getting really annoyed at people who are clearly anti HE and just come on these threads to try and (hijack) persuade people to go for the school option. So out of curiosity I just went and had a look at the preschool and primary school threads to see what's going on over there. I resisted the urge to write anything pro HE and be a hypocrite but if you ever need any kind of boost to your confidence that you are doing the right thing by your DD to consider HE go and have a look! Some of the stories are so sad, and it's really brought home to me how much I want to do it. And any anti HE hijackers out there reading this, just butt out for once! Sorry for the rant!

Ooo Betelguese, the National Children's Choir sounds like something my dd would really love! Looks like it must be expensive (I always quake when I can find no actual figures on the website, LOL) but there are bursaries. Have you tried it?

i took my 15, 8 and 6 yr dc out of the system 2 years ago, and tbh i still have doubts now that im doing the right thing, with the younger two especially. this could be a massive guilt complex as mil does not agree and she lives next door though. but tbh they are an awful lot more happier and out going than when they were at school trying to fit in with the 'norm'. i havent found any other home edders around my area, leek staffs, but my eldest has kept in touch with friends, and my 8 yr dd sees some friends and goes brownies each week, my 6 yr ds doesnt like to mix with children his age but is quiyte happy to 'play' with my 17 and 15 yr ds friends lol. but we love how we can stay in bed a wee bit later now and giggle at the other childern having to go out in the piddling rain when we are nice and warm in the house, or we CAN go out in the piddling rain and have a wellie day if we choose. ive just packed in smoking(after 32 yeaars omg how bad is that) and we've done a massive project on anti smoking. i dont think i'd dare to start again now. when people come in my house they stand back and stare as we've got an under water theme in our living room, fish, sea weed etc hanging from our ceiling. it looks pretty cool, not normal but all the kids want one now, i dont think their mums like us now hehe. but the best thing , i think, since i took them out of school ive found out that my 8 yr dd who was so struggling and never ever bought a book home as she was 'stupid' hmmmmm, not my words i just would like to say, has since been diagnosed as sever dyslexic and dyscalculia, and is now just starteed to recite the alphabet and can reead some four letter words and is now slowly learning the 2, 5 and 10 times table. we do have bad days, but the good days far outway them. ive just to realise that we aren't at school doing school days, we can learn what we want when we want, and my wonderful, clever children are teaching me how things should be taught in a fun way that do stick in your mind. im glad we took the step and i've never looked back. i've also got a 17 yr ds who was home ed who is now in college doing ITC hoping to go to Japan and is learning japanese by himelf to do 'manga'. he's my baby who i totaly adore and dont want to let go of and worry myself silly over if hes 5 mins late coming home at night.