HE on the not so good days...

[Smallwonder]

Hello,
I've posted a few times before and had some wonderful advice from the HE's on here TIA.
I HE my 3 DC aged 6.5, 5.5 and almost 4.
I'm four weeks away from having dc4 and feeling extremely tired at the moment, I've not had a very good PG (the norm) but am now feeling absolutely exhausted. I don't sleep well at night, I'm doing NO outdoor activities with DC although their father is taking them to martial arts twice a week. I haven't the patience for much reading, writing or anything in particular, I just feel quite bad about it all. They seem alright, they go to their grandparents once every 3 weeks for us all to have a rest. My 6.5 year old has become a little lazy, because I'm not 'there' doing things with him he is happy to play with his siblings but then complains that he doesn't know what to do and I'm being very strict on the TV/computer time they can have, trying to leave it till the times when I'm in absolute need of rest and can't do anything else.
I'm realising that this may well continue when the LO arrives and just feeling a little bad i suppose, i enjoy being active with the dc but feel i'm letting them down. Suppose I just want some words of encouragement rather than a family member's 'well, you knew this when you got PG again, they should be in school with other kids'
Thank you.

I would send than to school, you can concentrate on the new baby and be refreshed enough to spend time having fun when you know they have had several hours doing things at their own level with someone who has the enthusiasm and energy to do things with them.

The school day is short, you can recharge your batteries,and have lots of time left.

Don't worry about it in truth at the ages your dc's are they wouldn't do much anyway in school. We all get times like this illness pregnant whatever its ok. As for putting them in school advice this will just make them feel pushed out and can cause jealousy of new baby. Chill and try just doing maybe 2 hours most per day. Remember what we as he'ers can do in 2 hours is equal to what can take all day at school. Children learn through play much quicker espec when young. I'm having fun with my hormonal and therefore irritable 11yr old and have her bday coming so she is making my head spin at moment as she is happy and co-operative one moment and opposite the next. I just remember that I can always make up in school hols so no probs there

Sorry for no paragraphs on mobile and its just easier and I'm tired

They would have someone at school who had the energy to do things with them!

No they would have a teacher who already has x amount of other children also at least one is below school age and op already made clear that she doesn't wish to place them in school.

Can you get them to a park with a single exit? Then it's quite easy to keep track of them all while you sit on a bench.

This would also be a great moment to get a local HEed teen to come and play! (when I get overwhelmed, I pay local uni students minimum wage to come and play. Everyone loves it!)

exoticfruits - we know you love school. We know you like to put "the other side". But really, the message of how wonderful school can be is EVERYWHERE in society. This is one of the very few spaces where, honestly, I don't think we need that when someone asks for SUPPORT as a home edder.

Good advice Ommward. And have to agree that this is the one place I come for advice when I'm struggling and I have a 17yr old who's just finishing his HE now as well as my dd and it is better when I don't have to put up with the whole school is great stuff

I will bow out-I would have just thought that you were doing it because you could provide better-if you can't I don't actually see the point.

Thank you for replies, and a thanks to lovely MNer for private MSG too :)
I do not want my dc in school, at least not yet anyway. DH is now home and I've had a well deserved bath and meal -- already feeling better. I am very active with dc when not unwell but feeling this heavy and plain sick had me doubting my abilities today.Needed a little encouragement which I knew I'd find here :)
For me it is not as clear cut as 'I can do better than school' I've worked in schools for years and am under no illusions it's about what I think is best for them while they are this young, providing an environment that is safe, helping them to reach their potential through play and day to day life. Giving them responsibility, enjoying their role play and being there for them. The list goes on but am nearing end of day and will avert thoughts from essay writing. It is not easy when you're unwell that's all. I mean, does classroom teacher still frolick around being miss active/happy when she's unwell but has no choice but to attend work.
I need to do the park more, thanks for that, SPD has had me home a lot but really should try even for a while.
Going to look into uni students too! Thanks all

Preteens and young teens can be good to hire too. They might not be capable of taking sole charge - especially since you have three children - but they can inject a great element of novelty and energy and perhaps do some basic tasks such as making a sandwich or helping them figure out how the new Transformer goes. Meanwhile you can doze nearby.

I used to have a group of girls aged 8-10 who took it in turns to come over after school and play with my toddler while I relaxed or got on with housework. And I only had the one child at the time. And I wasn't pregnant! But she was a very intense child and I really appreciated the break from her.

It was brilliant. Most little kids love big kids. And many big kids - especially if they DON'T have younger siblings - love taking on a new role, feeling competent, being given responsibility, being admired and respected for a change rather than always being the one to receive help. Big kids sometimes enjoy having an excuse to play in proper little-kid style with little-kid toys for a change. And the older child's parents will be grateful because you are taking their child off their hands for a while, letting him experience a different family life and a change of scene while THEY relax. Everyone wins.

What about when the teacher is pregnant (like I was) and feeling under the weather exoticfruits? I remember doing lots of comprhensions etc and other dull quiet things as it was the only way I could cope with severe morning sickness and SPD later on.

OP, my two are 6 and nearly 3. It won't be long until you are back on your feet. What about reading eggs/starfall.com in the mornings, story time/drawing/playdough etc whilst you sit beside them then get them to do races in the garden whilst you give out 'prizes' for effort etc. That will burn off some energy. If you have a garden, send them all out with a sandwich bag and tell them to come back with 5-10 interesting things. You could identify them or use them to make art or puppet stories.

Don't feel guilty. Even if it is hard for the next 6 months, they will still being getting much more attention than they would at school (and I say that as an ex teacher). Think of it as a small blip in a big plan. One thing I do which helps me to be positive is to keep a leaning diary for each child. Every day I note every single educational thing they have done and there is never an empty page!

Home ed is for the long haul. I only have the 1 child but friends who home ed with larger families tell me when they look back they are hugely surprised at how much their children learned and developed while mum was pregnant and not having as active an input as usual.

I'm so glad i posted when i did :o
Many thanks ladies!

Wolvesdidit (love the name btw) They do Reading Eggs and Mathletics, the 6 year old does his almost daily with no prompting on my part but the 5 year old really just wants to play ALL day with his younger brother. The two of them are content to make dens, play with vehicles, role play and help me with things around the house (while still in role play mode of course) I need to sit with the 5 year old in order for him to do the computer based learning. In saying that he and his younger brother nag the eldest to put the playhouse activity on (Reading Eggs) and they buy things with the eggs, move furniture, change avatar and sing nursery rhymes.
The dining room table is always ready with colouring pots/playdough (but was just recently confiscated thanks to younger two experimenting with playdough and water, the mess was not funny, particularly as they'd created slime creatures that were hidden all over the house!)
I've been trying hard to make them understand the importance of tidying up after themselves as they start on one thing, go onto another and as you know, there's a sure build up of toys everywhere. The eldest, my six year old, gets very frustrated as he tidies up after himself and is a wonderful help to us all.

The garden/sandwich bag idea is great! Please keep posting ideas if you have the time :) It's little things like this that are really going to help me during these last few weeks and possibly while i'm having the baby, can leave simple ideas for grandma in a notebook if she wants to do similar while i'm gone.

Going to start the learning diary, fab idea! More for my own sanity i guess than anything else. Just yesterday i asked them to start the world map jigsaw, once complete I asked them to point out the continents. DS2 (5) commented on the coffee beans and tea leaves he could see, asked questions, how they're grown, how do we get them (we'd covered similar in Geography when i was well and doing food and farming) and so on, he showed his younger brother some Orcas and said he knew about them and had learned about penguins through Andy's World of Adventures (Cbeebies) and ran off to play pirates. DS1 continued to identify continents and then asked if we could learn about North America, he noticed a bridge on the map, asked if we could look at bridges. This 15 minute 'chat' then turned into the two of us looking at N.America, famous bridges, the bridge over the River Kwai...names of new places and then please can we watch the trains go over. If i'd written that down as I have done now it would be evident that 'education' is taking place but for some strange reason, unless i'm sat with folders brimming with worksheets and have been slogging with them round a table pencils in hand, i don't feel we've achieved much. I am so starting the diary! Thank you for that.

And than you Saracen, your posts are invaluable to me!
Thanks Fiona.
Sorry for essay. DC are with grandparents hence longer post!

"for some strange reason, unless i'm sat with folders brimming with worksheets and have been slogging with them round a table pencils in hand, i don't feel we've achieved much."

That's because we've been in the system that says that learning only takes place in that sort of situation, for too long!

"they will still being getting much more attention than they would at school"
Yep! From experience of helping out a lot at school, when the children attended, I definitely agree!