Any of you when a child moved on from home ed - how did the others cope?

[musicposy]

Hi there, I know some of you lovely people have children who have gone off into the big wide world and might offer your experiences. Not sure I can do much anyway.

DD2 has been home ed for virtually 5 years now and DD1 for 4. The funny thing is, I once had the opposite problem to this! When DD1 first came out of school, DD2 was quite put out (having been at home alone with me for a year) and I remember posting on here for advice about coping with them both at home!

Well, we've lived in our lovely home ed bubble for four years now :) and in that time the girls have become really close, way more than they ever were before. People remark on what good friends they are as though it's something pretty unusual!

DD1 is off to college in September to do A levels. Her IGCSEs are finished in just over a month's time, so that's the end of her home ed road. It's a sad and a proud time for me all in one. Sad because we really have had a lovely time and I'd be happy to do it forever. Sad because I know things will change once she gets into college life. Proud because I've managed to get her to the point where she has an unconditional offer to do the A levels of her choosing and I never in a million years thought I was capable of that.

DD2 is taking it badly. She has intermittent bouts of sobbing, saying that everything is going to change and she doesn't want it to. She keeps saying how much she will miss DD1. I keep pointing out she's only going to college, not the other side of the world, but it doesn't help. DD2 is used to her being there all day, a companion and confidante. DD2 has lots of wonderful friends, but DD1 is the person I think she tells her closest thoughts to.

I've tried pointing out what fun we will have just the two of us again, pointing out how much she enjoyed the first year of home ed. This hasn't worked and seems to make her cry more ( don't spare my feelings!).

I know it will be an adjustment but I think we will adjust. But I don't know how to fill that gap for DD2. I guess it's always harder being the one left behind.

I haven't been there yet but am dreading it already I guess it's the downside to having children who love each other so much. My younger one will probably be about 10 or 12 when her sister leaves. It's strange that everybody recognises how distressing it is for children when their parents split up and one parent moves out of the family home, but nobody acknowledges the sadness of the almost inevitable departure of an older sibling from the home.

I remember what an idiot I was when dd1 went on a school trip for five days. I didn't even think of telling dd2 (then 3.5) what was happening, as I would've done if one of her parents had gone away for that length of time. It didn't cross my mind how upsetting it might be when her sister disappeared for days on end. Dd2 was inconsolable even after I finally thought of telling her what was going on and assured her that her big sister would return in a few days. For quite a long time she didn't want to let her sister out of her sight.

(Hugs) I hope your daughter gets through it OK.

Would she like to attend a school or college too, maybe part time? My two both left and restarted school at the same time, neither wanted to be alone with me ( so charming!), but we were quite isolated- is there a good group of he ers near you so she can have lots of social time?

Thanks for the kind replies.

I did think of DD2 having something new to do too, but she cannot be persuaded near a school or college under any circumstances. She didn't have great experiences at school and is very forceful about the fact she is never going back. She has lots of friends, many of the home ed, so I guess I will have to keep her time filled.