Think I want to home Ed - should I not send ds to nursery?

[MavisG]

I think he'd enjoy it, 2.5 hours a day, the school has a lovely nursery/reception. But I've reservations about full time school at 4 & may want to home Ed then - is ds likely to have made friends and want to stay? Has anyone done this?

I'm interested in a child-led/'unschooling' approach btw, which is why the early years education at school appeals to/doesn't worry me, but I've strong reservations about yr 1 & up. Would it be better simply to not start with school at all?

My husband would like ds to see what school is like, so that he can help decide for himself. I wonder if 5's too young to see the bigger picture.

Am I over thinking this? Should we just try school and see if he likes it? I'm really not sure. Would really welcome your thoughts & experiences, thank you.

Hi Mavis,

We are planning to HE our DDs and we're not planning to send them to nursery, our reasons being that we don't think DD1 would enjoy it (she's a sensitive soul and hates crowds) and we like the flexibility of being able to wake up and decide what we're going to do that day. I had a look at some nurseries in my village and it seemed like there was a lot of emphasis on preparing them for school, getting them into a routine etc.

Maybe you could have a chat with the nursery staff and see if anyone else has done what you are planning to do.

It's all down to personal choice really, what suits one family may not suit another. Probably the best thing to do is run through what you want for your DS and then figure out which place (home or school) would best help you achieve this. It might not be the same place forever, so there's no reason for thinking your decision will be permanent.

Thanks Eau.

We've talked to the staff: they do do prep for school but it's hard to know how much this would negatively affect our son - they say they don't push it & the kids are 'mostly' free to choose what - painting/stories/sandpit etc - they do. I'm reading How Children Learn by John Holt and am worried he might start to feel there are 'right' and 'wrong' answers to things - like letters & numbers - he's currently happily exploring unencumbered.

I decided to send ds aged 3.9 to preschool playgroup despite not wanting full time school at 4 or 5 and am glad I did - it is very relaxed, you can turn up any time or not go at all, he usually goes 3 or 4 times a week but sometimes will only go for an hour. If he wakes up and says he doesn't want to go we don't go. He really enjoys it and it is completely free play, he talks a lot about the other children and seems to like meeting them. They have food and water available to help themselves all the time. I decided against nursery though because they had to be there 9-12 five days a week and I didn't want that degree of prescriptiveness. Have you looked into preschool playgroups at all? Some people seem to be a bit snotty about them and prefer nursery as it is more like 'proper school' - this was a major reason for me in choosing the playgroup! Other parents I know have been threatened with losing their nursery place if their children didn't go every day - definitely not something I wanted to get into!

I know of people who sent their children to nursery but not into reception. I think their reasoning was to try it out and see how their children fared in a formal environment and they also liked the part time and flexible aspect of nursery that is lost once they move into reception.

Another thing you could look into is whether there are any HE groups near you that allow pre-school-aged children. We go to one that does and DD1 loves it- it's a small-ish group with a range of ages and we can continue going to the same group when she turns 5 so she'll keep all her friends.

Thanks everyone.

chocolatecrisps is a preschool playgroup somewhere where parents stay, or do you drop off/pick up? I'm not sure what to google - 'preschool playgroup SE London' brings up a lot of nursery schools and stay-and-play type playgroups too.

Haziedoll do you know if any of your friends/ friends' kids had problems with this?

Eau there are HE groups near us, lots, we've felt welcome at several and we'll start to go more now as i'm reducing my working hours. One advantage of nursery is that I could work while he's there (I'm freelance).

I just spoke to the Early Years manager and am feeling much happier about my son going there. Time off for trips with a HE group or just 'not feelin like school today' is fine at this stage and we can try it full time and later give up or share his place if we decide to go part time.

Thank you for helping me find my way with this.

Belatedly answering...I think there is a preschool playgroup association and we found the information from the family information service. It is a drop off pick up place.

One thing to watch out for tho, if you would prefer not to be 'known' to the LEA whilst you home-educate: my dd went to Nursery in a Children's Centre type place for a term or so. After she'd left, and when she would have been due to start school, the Nursery rang me to ask what school she would be attending, as they HAD to include this information on their paperwork for the LEA. I said that I was under no obligation to inform the LEA that I was home-educating, but they said that THEY did...

Now, I'm not sure if this would still be the case for a private nursery, unaffiliated to the Govt/Sure Start etc... but it may be wisest not to leave a contact tel. no., then they'd have to chase such information via letters, which you can safely ignore.

My DD went to a nursery attached to a private school, and we've never been contacted by the LA. I'm sure it's only state schools/nurserys. It is in our area anyway.

Hi Mavis, it seems youve made up your mind but just wanted to add something as I sent DD to playschool and not to school. She loved playschool, I chose a very small one which was a home from home really. It was montessori/play mix. She went 2 mornings a week for the first year and 3-4 morns for the second year. Just a word of warning, I thought it was very play orientated but after spending several mornings there trying to seetle DS in (unsuccessfully) I realised it was more prescriptive than Id realised. Also when DD left, all her friends went onto school and she found this hard despite being happy about not going. I wish Id made HE contacts whilst she was at playschool and been to meet-ups BEFORE we embarked on HE. I found she went through a difficult period of adjustment after playschool. Having spent a year HE'ing her, I do wonder whether school would actually suit her & we remain open minded about her going. I think my message to you is to be active in your local HE community whilst hes at playschool/nursery.

Please excuse my typos, I should have checked before sending!

Thank you.

CSLewis, I'm not worried about being known to the LEA, though I appreciate it could mean some admin - we're in London so most public services are quite stretched; hopefully they wouldn't have oodles of time to worry about families like mine (or perhaps I'm naive?!).

Picnic, thank you. I am reading more about EYFS & the pressures on teachers & TAs to promote e.g. literacy very early, I feel less sure the more I read and I plan to do a lot more reading before September. I appreciate the benefit of your experience very much - the friends thing is very important.