Is boredom a good or bad thing for HE'ers

[gentheyank]

Ok. We've finished our first week and its been blissful, if Im truthful, it really has. Ive noticed things about my kids I didnt realise before and my older two are just getting right stuck into reading all sorts and they love having the freedom to go out and do what they like, they dont even mind not seeing their friends all day, and at 12yo, that was the most important thing in life for a while. Already Im seeing a change in them. They are more relaxed. My 11 yo son, however, seems restless all of a sudden. He was a very high achiever, among the top in his class in most subjects, I actually thought he'd prefer to atleast finish this school year before coming out for secondary but he chose to come out when his sisters did.

I know we've only finished one week HE'ing and the days we're not out and about he's kind of walking around the house not knowing what to do with himself. He's not complaining but he's saying he's a bit bored. He's usually a quiet sort of guy and doesnt like to talk about things but he's become more articulate recently, which is very ...sweet. He said something like 'You know when somethings built up in your mind before it happens and then when it does happen... its not as great as it was in your mind?' I think he was talking about homeschooling.

I guess Im wondering if I made a mistake in his case pulling him out of school. I know secondary school would have been useless for his education, just like it was for my girls but... well I also know that homeschooling IS best for him. I wonder if its just normal for some kids, boys in particular, at his age (11) to find things awkward and boring?? Or does he need more mental stimulation? Or is boredom a good thing for kids his age?

Im just trying to bounce my ideas off you guys who have more experience than I do in all this. I appreciate if anyone's atleast read this far. Im not sure if this is making enough sense but I could use some insight.

thanks in advance

I think boredom is good for kids of any age - regardless of whether they go to school or not.
I actually feel sorry for kids who do loads of after school activities, as well as a full day at school - their every hour is structured and planned for them. When presented with a day, a week etc of unplanned time its often difficult for them/those around them - Im booooored!!

Being bored is good - it gives you a chance to think "what will I do?" "How will I spend the next few hours?"
I could read a book, I could read a knex model, I could go for a walk and look for bugs - I know I will design a really cool bug collector with my knex and go off on a Just William style adventure..................!

What I mean is - when my kids are "bored" or feel like they have nothing to do, its often soon after that, that they have a really marvellous creative idea or do some amazing art work etc

I think it also helps with preparing to plan your own day as an adult.

Definately dont worry about it - and I think that if HE is good for your dds it will be good for your ds as well, bonding together etc.

Have fun :)

My son has been home ed throughout and is now nearly 19. He is very driven and gets anxious if he's not "achieving something". He needed something to react against as he had a huge problem with a blank canvas, so a lot of my job was to suggest things which he would scorn and reject. In the process he'd generally find something else he'd much rather do. I should add that despite his horror of a blank canvas he had equal difficulty with ANYTHING being planned out -either by me or by him - and with his being expected to stick to a plan, which he found extremely oppressive.

Not sure if that helps!

I don't think protracted boredom is a good thing..and you could help him out be having some ideas to suggest and some fun stuff stashed away that you could bring out for him.

Having said that..since he has gone from having all of his time planned out for him there's bound to be an adjustment period while he gets used to having all of this time for himself and a bit of feeling lost or bored is probably inevitable while a balance is being found.

I could make a knex model.

Also wanted to add that protracted boredom is obviously not good. But I think in most cases HE kids dont really get to that point. They are bored for a bit, they find something to do!
Thats how it works in our house at least.
My ds has aspergers - he likes to have some idea what we will do each day, each week (who doesnt!) but if I plan anything (timetable style) he gets upset that its too oppressive or gets upset if planned stuff he wanted to do doesnt happen.
So I try to make "we might do this" plans so Ive got a just in case get out clause available!
Generally I think the longer a child has been HEd the better they get at 'not being bored'

But a bit of boredom is ok - it could also be described as 'thinking time' :)

I was just thinking the other day that "boredom" is a completely alien concept in our house - noone EVER EVER EVER says "Mummy I'm bored" - they just wander around and find something else to do.

There's something about gradually recapturing that unschooled/preschooled lack of expectation that someone else is responsible for deciding what you should do next. It'll take a while.