Doubt and Anxiety!

[badger2005]

Home Ed is an idea that I just keep coming back to.

My son is in year one, and he doesn't like going to school. In particular, he doesn't like the 'learning'. I find this sad, because he seems to like learning at home! He is insatiably curious about things (examining things to see how they work, wanting to go into different buildings etc to see what's inside, asking people questions about what they are doing - that sort of thing).

He is reading... I think school taught him to read, but who knows really? But reading his Biff and Chip books is a bit of a chore - he would always prefer me to read them for him. But then reading books that are lying around the house, reading signs and cereal packets etc - all happens without my suggesting it to him.

Similarly he really doesn't like writing at school... having to write his diary on a Monday leads to lots of tummy aches before school. But at home, he will sometimes spontaneously make a label for something or write us a note.

So I feel a bit like school is teaching him that learning is not fun! (I do understand that it is teaching him other things too... would he be able to write at all if they hadn't got him going with it?).

The social side is not great either. He has made friends only with the (2) children that we regularly see outside school. So if he is not really mixing with others, then what is the social thing he is supposed to be getting out of school? I have seen him enjoy a great time socialising in a group - but these were mixed age groups (he seems to like the company of slightly older girls!).

I work part-time, but I think that I could work my way around this. I live near Heroes, so could (soon - at 8) possibly do some flexischooling. I also have a nearly-4 year old who is happy at her (2 mornings a week) nursery sessions + childminder. I have not yet thought through what I would do when she is school age.

But I think I know what is holding me back, and it is this: everyone seems to think that it is a bad idea! My mum is always alert to me saying anything negative about school, and immediately tells me how important it is not to 'let him off' school, and how it is good for him to understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. (And I agree... but does it follow that we have to go to school from 4-18? Is this one of the things that we have to do? Why?). And I just dread the negative reactions from everyone (I have done some testing out by finding out what friends and family think about the idea in general).

Plus I suppose that I think there might be something in their reactions. I worry that there might be something wrong with me. Is it that I want to keep them at home because I miss them? Or perhaps I don't want them to be shaped by school, but want to keep them forever innocent - or forever bound to home? Or do I over-identify with their emotions? Am I too soft in general? I feel that people see my son's reluctance to go to school, and his not-joining-in-with-the-boys as a sort of softness or weakness. And that maybe I have been part of the 'problem' here, and should be backing out rather than getting more involved.

The thought of that gentle, sensitive soul being pushed away by us does make me feel very sad. Is there something wrong with me?

Dashing here but Heroes?
Do you mean near Heroes Baerkshire

"In September 2009 Heroes had developed a range of programmes:-

Heroes for home-educated young people
Heroes programmes for schools and groups
Heroes flexi-schools - learning centres where children can attend on a flexi basis
Heroes Summer Holiday programmes"

sounds lovely!

will come back and answer your other questions. But no, there is nothing wrong with you for listening to your child and his needs. Everything right in fact.

Thank you for your reply. Yes I do mean Heroes Berkshire. I don't have much information about it, except what I have learnt from the website and a friend who has visited it.

Grandson goes to heroes in Berkshire one day a week. Loves it. There is now another opened in hertfordshire

Oh - please could you tell me a bit more about it Marjoriew? In particular, is there a real mix of ages?

sounds like a dream there!
I see them advertising their courses on the National HE lists sometimes and think how wonderful it sounds.
I've heard really great feedback too.

Grandson goes on a Tuesday from 10.30 till 4.30. Lady with three children who lives near me HE her three children, 10,5 and she has a baby just over a year. It's in a rural setting. They have small animals and a lady comes in to do small animal care with them. They also have reptiles, snakes etc, donkeys. They do cooking, yoga, archery, street dance, games, debates, etc. A lady comes in to do maths on a Thursday, I believe. The children range to all ages right up to 16. Run by Dawn and Lawrie, and their daughter, Jodie, helps out there. Lovely girl. Some of the mums, like the lady who takes grandson, does the photographs of the children doing the activities and sends them around by email most weeks. Some of the mums help out. I don't. I have a much-needed day off to put my feet up and watch informative programmes such as Jeremy Kyle:o
Seriously, it's a break for me to catch up with planning, housework and stuff. I'll be 64 next month so need the rest.
Dawn runs the operation at HEROES in Berkshire and they have just opened another one in Hertfordshire. I think it's about £30 a day, but there are bursaries available. I just have my pension and CB so it's great for grandson. He's been going for about 2 years now.

Hi, you will get negativity, but you will find support from the most unlikely places. Be ready, i had a friend of 35 years stop talking to me when she realized i really was going to home ed.
School does not suit all children, how can it?
Dont forget the schools will still be there if your son wants them later.

But why is this? Why are people so negative about it? e.g. bebanjo why did your friend stop talking to you?

Without an explanation for why people would take an irrational stand against home education, I am worrying that there is something behind their objection to it. But what?

Sometimes when my mum says that I am not to 'let him off' school, I think I can hear a voice from her childhood... she didn't want to go to school, but must have been persuaded somehow that it was the right thing to do.

But then perhaps when I talk about home educating, that is just my childhood talking... I didn't like secondary school (can't really remember much about primary).

This is all so hard to work out!

Thank you too lavendergirl123 for all the information about Heroes. It sounds really good. I'd better go and visit it!

Hi badger, my friend is a qualified teaching assistant, and from her training, she believes that learning can only happen with a "qualified" teacher.
Her words were "i would not have the confidence to teach my DS"
And the implication was she is "qualifed" i am not if she is not confident then i am going to mess it up.
Also she believes that a child needs to be with 30 other kids 5 days a week to make a "proper" friend.
I do not try to teach my DD anything, if she asks i tell her what i know and then look it up.
DD is very happy and confident, goes to rainbows, swimming and is joining street dance next mouth.